Top Ten Things to Know about Deception, Love and Romance
We’ve compiled a Top Ten List of the research findings on lying in romantic relationship.
- Deception can be achieved one of two ways:
- Directly, by explicitly saying things which are not true
- Indirectly, by leaving out critical information (part of the who, what, where, when, why or how).
- Telling Indirect Lies makes people feel both less guilty and less accountable.
- But, if discovered, the partner who has been misled does not see it that way.
- Most deception occurs with little awareness or thought.
- People overestimate how honest they are and they underestimate their use of deception.
- People repeat the same lies so often; they actually begin to believe what they are saying.
- Ironically, people are both more honest and more deceptive with those they love.
- Lying is not a luxury, but it a necessity. Our relationships are held together by both telling the truth and lying.
- You can do things to increase or decrease a partner’s use of deception.
- People are very good at using deception; children start lying at age 3 and people continue using deception throughout their lives.
- People are more susceptible to the lies of a lover than the lies of a stranger.
- People do not like to acknowledge this.
- Despite popular belief, there are no reliable nonverbal cues of deception.
- People cannot detect deception better than flipping a coin, but everyone thinks they can.
- Training does little, if anything, to improve one’s ability to detect deception.
- Professionals cannot consistently detect deception better than anyone else.
- Most deception gets discovered by accident.
When it comes to matters of deception, love and romance, people like to think they are different from everyone else, but this is typically not the case.
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