Netflix Adultery

By Truth About Deception

Lying never goes out of style.  People make promises to their partners and then find new ways to betray them.

The latest twist on this? Promising to watch a TV show with your partner, but then secretly viewing it by yourself – Netflix Adultery.  It is estimated that over fifty percent of people betray their partner’s expectations about watching TV shows together.  A key quote summarizing the findings:

“Of those who cheated, 66 percent did so “at home by themselves on the main TV.” A shocking 21 percent confessed to watching in bed while their significant other slept… Forty-one percent of cheaters refrained from revealing spoilers; 12 percent would rewatch and “fake it” in their reactions; 14 percent felt so guilty they confessed to cheating.”


Not Just a Dream

By Truth About Deception

New research shows that the content of one’s dreams has an impact on a romantic relationship.

Individuals, who dreamt that their partner’s were cheating on them, actually treated their partner’s differently when they awoke. If you dreamt that your partner was cheating, you were more likely to pick a fight and act distant the next day.

The most likely explanation – our dreams trigger (or prime) emotional reactions, upon which we subsequently act.

Even though it was just a dream, it has a real impact.


Sliding Versus Deciding

By Truth About Deception

Some people slide into their relationships. People hangout, spend time together, become a couple, move in, and they may even get married.

It is easy for couples to slide into a relationship. Sliding couples don’t talk about what they are doing, make their expectations clear, or think about their decisions. They go with the flow – what’s the point of discussing where the relationship is going and what it means to be together? If things are working, why talk about it? The classic example of sliding into a relationship – moving into together because you are already spending all of your time at one person’s place. Why not just move in and save some money, right?

Other people decide their way into a relationship. They think about what they are doing and make their expectations clear. They weigh the pros and cons of being in a relationship and talk about their feelings with their partner. They think about what their decisions mean before they act. Moving in together is a big deal. Let’s talk about what we expect from each other, where we want our relationship to go, let’s make sure we understand what we are getting into.

New research shows that people who decide their way into a relationship are more happy with the outcome, more dedicated to their partner, and less likely to cheat.

Sliding into a relationship may seem like the easy way to go. But sliding into a relationship is an easy route to sliding into a set of commitments that no one really agreed to.


Oral Sex Differences

By Truth About Deception

Oral sex is somewhat of a biological puzzle. Assuming that sex was designed for reproduction, what’s the purpose of oral sex? Oral sex typically doesn’t create a lot of children.

Researchers looking at the purpose of oral sex have linked it to infidelity. Men, who are more suspicious that their partners may be cheating, are more likely to engage in oral sex. It is thought that oral sex serves many purposes for men, including examining their partner’s vagina – does she taste or smell like she has been with another man? Revolting to think about, but some evidence supports this interpretation. A key finding from a recent study on the topic:

“Men but not women at greater risk of partner infidelity report greater interest in, and spend more time performing, oral sex on their partner. Furthermore, the relationships between partner infidelity risk and interest in, and time spent, performing oral sex are statistically larger for men.”

Women, by contrast, don’t use oral sex the same way that men do. The possible reasons for this difference are uncomfortable to contemplate. To begin with, sexually transmitted diseases are more easily contracted when women perform oral sex than men. Also, men leave more semen in women than women leave vaginal secretions on men. Taken together, it is more effective and less risky for men to use oral sex to detect infidelity than the other way around.

A link to the latest research on the topic can be found here.


Powerful Women Cheat Too

By Truth About Deception

As women gain more education and financial power, they are also beginning to act like men in the bedroom as well as the boardroom.  As women gain power, they are also more likely to cheat.  A quote from an article in the WSJ on the changing nature of marriage captures this dynamic.

This educational divide between men and women is also one of the reasons why female infidelity has increased in recent decades. Researchers at Tilburg University in the Netherlands, led by Joris Lammers, looked at the behavior of more than 1,500 professionals and found that women who are higher up the corporate ladder are more likely to cheat (just as higher-status men are). And since men who are financially dependent have more to lose if they leave unfaithful wives, female infidelity is less likely to lead to divorce when the woman makes more.