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I met a man I care about deeply. Unfortunately, I noticed he shows the behavior of a compulsive liar. I was compelled to search online for advice---I found this site. I know I can’t change a man, but I still want to show him the kindness he deserves. After gathering information from here, I’m motivated to follow the steps to hopefully help him be more honest. Yes, it might be a difficult task, but only time will tell. Thank you for providing this information... Anonymous

I thank these people from the bottom of my heart. I was injured and ashamed. After 25 years of marriage the truth came out about my wife’s infidelity. At 54 years of age I despaired that that my remaining years would be spent as my wife’s last resort when her affair had failed. She came back to me injured and humiliated. In time our bonds grew close again. She fell in love with me again. I never told her i loved her for years. When she spoke of the future I ignored it as buying time. Until after 3 years he called again. This time I was ready for a fight. We had achieved the goals we set in raising our children. The only difference was that I had fallen in love with her all over again. I demanded the truth. When the truth was not forthcoming I told her what knew. In time she confessed. With the help of this website, and a little natural understanding we fixed our marriage. We fixed our lives.The future looks bright. Thank you. Bill

Fortunately I found this site. It has lots of scientific and professional assistance. It helped me a lot to comprehend the TRUTH about DECEPTION. It hurt me sometimes to read and check that the suspicious I had were confirmed. After a marriage of almost 40 years I realized that I had to choose between myself (and the truth) or continue to be cheated by my spouse. TY. Rui

This website has helped me enormously! I have learned more about myself in one hour than I knew in a lifetime. I wish I had found it years ago. I have read every word... some more than once... and I will continue to read it on a daily basis until it becomes second nature. Wish it was in a book... I’d buy it today! Anonymous

Very neat blog. Thanks Again. Anonymous

I am not sure how I found your website, but am so thankful. Your combination of concise and simple explanations with practical solutions backed up my scientific studies is brilliant, and so very helpful. After 20 years of marriage I just found out about my spouse’s 9 year emotional affair with his old college girlfriend. I realize it isn’t a sexual affair, but the sense of betrayal, loss of trust and emotional exclusion is brutal. Reading your website is so very helpful. Thank you! Ms. K

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this grown-up, rational, honest and unflinching look at what can go wrong in relationships even between kind, caring, loving people. After discovering my wife has been lying to me about an emotional affair, first completely denying it even when confronted with the evidence, then grudgingly admitting only small parts at a time, this site has been vital in helping me understand why she is doing this. She says she loves me, she is upset, and I believe that at least a part of her believes in her love for me and intention to rebuild the relationship. Thanks to this site I know and understand that that by itself is not enough, but it’s a start and that even after this deception (of the bad kind...) we have hope if we seek professional help and commit to a future. Anonymous

This website really has been one of the most—if not THE most—helpful websites in my attempt to save my marriage. I think the explanations for both POVs is extremely helpful in getting the lying spouse to want to be more involved in the healing process and to feel less attacked than most other relationship advice websites. I also immensely appreciate the absence of a religious slant. I do not find it useful at all to read about God’s condemnation of liars and the need to let God take over and fix things. (My apologies to any other posters who may be offended by this statement.) Thank you so much for your help. Anonymous

A great website. I read this website every time and recommended it to friends. It’s comforting to know that although married women suffer when their husbands have affairs even the mistress suffers too. Previously I thought they don’t suffer or feel pain because they are always cheating and enjoying time with our husbands. It’s a very good website for comforting women whose husbands are cheating. Rumbi

Your website its so amazing I read it two times but already I know what to do now about a CHEATING and lying man all the time. Doreen

I just want you to know this is one of the greatest websites I have ever run across. Very well put together and very very informative. I will be recommending this website to anyone in my future that has dealt with any situations like mine or anything the like. I ran across this site when I used Google to research complusive lying and anti-social personality disorder. I am currently on an emotional rollercoaster from hell with my boyfriend of 18 months who is a compulsive liar. The biggest lie of all came out recently when I found out he had a vasectomy in 2004. After we tried for the last year to get pregnant. Long long story short. :) Thank you for providing this and helping me see that there are other people out there dealing with exactly the same situations. Shelby R.

THANK YOU! Anonymous

Thank you so much for the website it is really constructive and alarming. I have learned a lot and I have some of the steps of catching a cheating a cheating spouse and it had really worked for me. Thank so much guys. Tatenda

This information is so valuable to me! I have failed to be the man I should be in my marriage (no infidelity). I have lacked the skills to be intimate and sensitive to my wife. We are separated and may still be able to work things out. The materials you have shared will help us tremendously! They are so specific and applicable... thank you! Jerry

Everybody who puts work into this site is an absolute LEGEND. I learned so much in about an hour. I’m going to show my partner some of the articles tomorrow—he’s dismissive and I’m anxious—shock horror! Thank you so so so much, if I could hug you, I would :) Name withheld

Thank you for maintaining this website. It has helped me survive the trauma of infidelity, and to give me, and others like me (sadly, so many) a support system. I truly thought I was losing my mind and just wanted to die, until I found your site and realized that what I was feeling was normal, given the circumstances. I did not have a support system in place, and the only person I could talk to was the very person who so badly wounded me. We are working our way through recovery and support, and your unbiased site has been invaluable. Thank you so much. Marie

Great website and has really helped me understand and clear my head about things going on in my life. I want to thank anyone that helps this website grow and become better. I highly recommend the Tell Your Secrets page. It really helps to clear the mind about issues you’re going through and sometimes it can be the first step to telling someone about what’s going on and making a difference for the affected party. Once again SPECTACULAR website; and I’m happy to say that it’s the first that I’ve ever extensively commented on. Name withheld

For one that does not comment on websites, I want to thank you! This is one of the few websites that offers constructive and helpful advice for someone like me who is going through a painful time. I was so refreshed that you offered the advice without some catch to the end. Thank you. Anonymous

Thank you so much! This site has been immensely helpful to me. The information has helped me turn a corner in my life. It’s been a very long 8 years with a husband who lies and cheats. Finally, through experience, 2 years therapy and 1 year of couples counseling, books, and this site, I am able to understand everything so much better. Things are not resolved yet, but I feel that having a clearer understanding of things is what I need to take the next steps. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Anonymous

You site is really phenomenal. My boyfriend has lied to me about many things but recently come clean (long letter). I have struggled to figure out whether he is a sociopath, a kind but wimpy guy or what? Your site has offered me the clearest path to understanding what is going on. I appreciate the information, lack of judgmentalism and full discussion of a subject that most people deny and fail to explore. Thank you for your in depth views and insights. My hunch is that I will make things work with my boyfriend. But I have to say, most people would have said abandon all hope and what a fool you are to try to understand. Again, my thanks. Hazel

Finally, the website I was looking for! I have been desperately in need of the information on this site as I’ve been struggling to heal from my boyfriend cheating on me a year ago, followed by many months of lying (the lying is the hardest, most painful part to recover from). I went to two counselors (am still seeing one) but this site has already proven to be more helpful. Thank you so much for providing this information and giving it in an unemotional, reasonable manner -- you will help me to regain my sanity. After so many months of searching in agony for truth and understanding, I am so relieved to get some answers on this site. THANK YOU for helping people, please keep it up! Kris

This is an absolutely wonderful site. My husband and I are in crisis right now, and it is so comforting to know it IS POSSIBLE to get through anything. Thank you for all of the expert and objective advice! Anonymous

This is one of the best "Self-Help" websites I have ever seen. Thank you so much for taking the time to put this all together and teaching me about what I am going through. I think this website just saved my marriage. Anonymous

I just wanted to thank you. Your website has taught me a lot about my spouse and myself as well. After reading I felt a great sense of relief and I feet a lot more in control of the problem I was having. Thank you so much! Holly

Thank you so much for the insightful information you share sincerely here. I am currently engaged, but I think you might have just saved me from years of heartaches ahead. Anonymous.

Wow... I’ve learned more about myself and past relationships in a hour than I have in over a year of counseling. A great website, a sure favorite and I can’t wait to read all the sections! Thank you! Anonymous

I just want to tell you—THANK YOU! I came across your website by accident. I am dealing with an issue that involves a host of things including lying from a ex lover. And your website provided me a lot of insight and information. I also, made use of your link ‘Ask an Expert.’. And additionally, the card trick is a good example of self deception, but never mention how it works. But it works every time! Again-thanks! Olivia

I just wanted to say "thank you" for letting me vent here on this site and to other women (and men) who have been cheated on. I know it will get better. Dawn

My husband sent me this website while he was working out of town. I have to admit when I opened it I was a little confused as to why he would send me something like this, but after reading it I saw how this can and will help our relationship. Yes, we have had trust issues and we probably will again in the future, we are human, but, I do believe that the things we learned will help us to overcome some of the painful issues that come with intimacy. Thanks so much for the accurate information and simple to follow advice. I am passing this on to my older children so they might sidestep some relationship mistakes. Sarah

I just want to say THANK YOU for your efforts, energy, research, and insight. You are providing a tremendous service and resource. Thank you very much! MQ

Your website is informative, truthful, and logical. Please keep up the good work! Bianca

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT SITE!!! I’m going thru a horrible, nasty divorce from a marriage that included infidelity (w/my best friend of 15 years), lies, deceit and drug use. In short, my marriage and subsequent nasty divorce has completely jaded my opinion about men, love, cheating and lying. Nonetheless, I started dating again and have seeing someone for almost 8 months now -- he is going thru a kinder, gentler divorce. Recently, he expressed the need to not get tied down in a relationship. Thinking rationally, this makes sense as I am almost 2 years into my divorce and he’s only 8 months into his separation. This request seemed logical and something that needed to be done before we could commit much further. I have faith that if it’s meant to be it will happen. However, thinking emotionally, I want to know everything he’s doing, when he’s doing it and with whom he’s doing anything and everything. I discovered recently some sexually charged text messages to/from a woman in another state whom he’s mentioned before. He was totally embarrassed, ashamed and very angry. Before visiting your site, I decided to take a different approach to this and discuss the discovery with him calmly. I expressed my feelings of jealousy, hurt and sense of betrayal, but at the same time I understood the relationship, but wanted to know more about how threatening it was us. He was shocked at how calm and rational I was being. Problem was... that seemed to be the calm before the storm because lately I’ve been increasingly curious, jealous and have a strong desire to snoop, snoop and snoop some more. So, I turned to your site for a thorough read-thru and have gained INVALUABLE insight about myself and how to approach this point in our relationship. I didn’t realize how much my own betrayal of his privacy was just as hurtful as my learning of his text sex. Your site helped me to understand the fundamentals behind both of our feelings and, I think will help both of us moving forward. It also helped me to gain a little more insight about the behaviors of my ex-husband. Thank you for providing this wonderful resource for both men and women!!! Bravo!!! Name Withheld

After looking at the Site Map, I see that I have only read half of this site so far, but it has already given me a clear picture of the recent events which have taken place in my life. I was inadvertently sucked into a relationship triangle, and over the last two months, I have been slowly discovering what the truth is about my situation. Ironically, this is the first time I have felt jealousy in my life, and I really didn’t know, up till now, why my emotions were getting the better of me. The “truthaboutdeception.com” has given me a full understanding of my behavior and my now ex-girlfriend’s behavior. The best part is that I feel no bitterness towards anyone, and if anything feel a bit sorry for the other guy in this triangle, who is probably still suffering lingering suspicions. I am sure that I will still have to suffer the odd pang of missing my ex in the near future, but considering the nightmare roller coaster I was on not so long ago, this web-site has enabled me to truly find peace of heart again. Thanks to all who have worked, and are working, to make this site. You are all doing something really worthwhile. Chris

This is a fantastic Website. I’ve searched long and hard for a website like this. The information is direct, relevant, and honest. Not only that, most of the information is referenced from credible sources. Thanks, I’m really finding this to be a great resource in rebuilding myself and my relationship. Name Withheld

I truly love this website, it’s a completely honest, no holds bar look at relationships and that’s refreshing. I love the advice and it has helped me overcome some of my own insecurities in my relationship. In fact it’s helped save my relationship and work together with my boyfriend to make it stronger. Thanks for the advice! Melissa

A few times after reading your information, I actually gave time for the process to take place. I had a hunch that my spouse after 13 years of marriage was not as loving or close like before. I did some investigative work, and actually found that my now ex-husband had been having affairs and meeting women over the internet and from match making agencies. I found emails on a hotmail account we shared. He always saved the messages, that’s how I got suspicious. To top it off towards the end of the relationship I come to find out he was living a double life and fathered two children with another woman while married to me. Yes it was devastating, but after carefully reviewing your site, I became a survivor and a woman of stronger willpower. Nobody deserves to cheat with anyone, and if you’re not happy in your relationship, end it instead of hurting the one that has to survive the shocking news! Name Withheld

WOW this is a great site! Evebean

Your website is fantastic! The information is straightforward and easy to follow. I have recommended it to many people already! Thanks. Karen

Oh my GOD, I have learned so much about relationships from this website then I have in my 19 years of dating. I read every single page. I must admit I’m one of those guys that asks questions alot, I’m jealous, nosey, and I don’t have a good reputation with trust, whether it is trusting or being trusted. But believe me, after reading all of this information I will try to follow some of its guidelines. I loved every bit of this website. Thanks. William

GREAT WEBSITE!!! Thanks, very informative! Anonymous