Timing Can Be Difficult To Manage When Attempting To Rebuild Trust
When trying to rebuild trust, it helps to realize that there will always be two different perspectives on the amount of time it will take.
If you are the person who has been caught lying, trying to get a partner to trust you again will always take longer than you think it should. If you are not the person who has been hurt, you tend to focus on all the energy and effort you are putting into making things right.
By focusing on all the things you are doing to make things better—it seems like you should be making more progress more quickly. But, it doesn’t work that way. It will always take longer than you think it should, which can be frustrating. It is important not to give up out of frustration, but instead try to understand where your partner is coming from.
If you are the person who has been hurt, it is natural to focus on your feelings—to experience anger, sadness, and have doubts. Trust takes a long time to rebuild because our negative emotions tend to stay with us longer than our positive emotions do. When you find yourself focusing on your negative emotions, it helps to think about all of the things your partner is trying to do to make things right again. Trying to focus on the positive and not the negative makes it easier to get trust back.
In short, rebuilding trust can be very frustrating for both parties because partners do not move through the process at the same pace. There is not much you can do about this, but it helps to keep this in mind.