Self-Deception Also Carries Some Risk

While self-deception helps couples see the best in each other, it can also prevent partners from dealing with important issues.

Self-deception can create more harm than good when it limits people from seeing important warning signs, or it leads people to overlook serious problems, or it causes people to put the best spin on everything that happens.

Self-deception is not healthy when it prevents people from dealing with serious issues – issues which are detrimental to one’s emotional, mental or physical health (e.g., infidelity, abuse, inconsiderate behavior, a lack of love, and so on).

Unfortunately, there are many examples of people who have built illusions; illusions which end up being costly to maintain in the long run (see unpleasant discovery).

To a certain extent, relationships could not survive without some level of self-deception. But too much optimism or denial, can be just as costly.

The trick is to engage in self-deception in order to see the best in a partner without letting self-deception create too much vulnerability.