Relationship Issues Secrets
I’m keeping a secret from my loved one.
My husband just came out
My husband came out of the closet after 25 yrs. of marriage. He says he still loves me and wants to stay married but I am in a sexless marriage now. He emails guys and hooks up with them. I read his emails to these guys. He doesn’t know I log into his account and I know what he is doing.
Frozen – in a state of shock because of my husband’s infidelity
Not only did I discover my husband had been lying to me within hours of our marriage, he was engaged in BDSM behaviors inviting women into our home. He has to be the dominant person. I traveled for my profession, and he managed to have multiple affairs for the past ten years. I feel as if I am the most stupid person in the world.
I feel frozen and don’t know what to do. Since I can’t seem to move, I am frozen.
Keeping a lot of secrets from my boyfriend
Before I fell in love with my current boyfriend--we were not dating--I had sex with someone who I did not care about. It was when I lost my virginity. I told him a different story about losing my virginity, so I wouldn’t reveal my great mistake. Also, I often think of my mistake as rape. It was stupid -- meaningless and I feel like I was pushed into it. Of course, I am not ignoring the choices I made, but it also adds to my hesitation and embarrassment. Also, my boyfriend does not know how much my father dislikes him.
Hate the way my husband treats me
I have only been married a short while but I am beginning to dislike several things about him already. He is very sarcastic and rude. I have already though of ways to kill him... but he is not worth hell or prison. He is on numerous porn adult sites and lists himself as divorced or single... he is neither... he is married. He walks off in front of me and in general is rude each day. He ignores me when I talk with him. The only time he is nice is if he is horny. I am trying to think of the good things... but it is not getting any easier to do. I wish I could met a man who I would really enjoy and who would show me what being good to a woman is like. I don’t want to only have sex with him... I just want to be in good company.
My husband demands to know everythingtd valign="top" colspan="2" class="createdate"> Thursday, 01 October 2009
My husband says that I am secretive and that he wants a listing of all of the things that I have never been truthful about. I do keep secrets. I keep the secrets of other people. I don’t always tell completely where I have gone and who I see when I am gone. Suffice it to say that I never have and never will cheat on anyone whether or not I am married to that person. My secret shame is that 12 years ago I had an abortion what more needs to be said about the damage that has done to my psyche. I cannot and will not put that into words for him to see and maybe even use against me. I love my husband. But I do not think it is fair that he would be asking me to lay bare a life that has been FILLED with hardship and pain the kinds of things that no one ever wants to remember let alone rehash over and over again plus to put it into writing with my name on it. So my secret life is one of anger and pain. Rejection and an unwillingness to undergo more of the same now that I have gotten through the worst of it. My husband is an emotionally abusive person. He seeks to control all around him with his deeds, words and thoughts. I am my own person and I have a right to my own personal thoughts that are separate from anyone else. If I say that I went somewhere and saw a friend for lunch why should I have to list in detail each and every moment of my time with that person. And just because I don’t list every single conversation with in that lunch does that make me secretive? I don’t think so, I don’t think so at all.
Know my husband is in contact with an ex-girlfriend
I am a newlywed and we finally decided to get married after many years of dating. Through our relationship, we’ve had many ups and downs (mostly about anger and jealousy from him and insecurity and mistrust from me). We’ve tried to move on though each issue that arises and usually we end up arguing for awhile and then the problem get resolved one way or another. Things were going great for a few years. We thought that all of the little petty problems were over. We came back from our honeymoon and I looked at his computer for wedding pictures posted online. Instead, I found a contact of a ex-girlfriend on his page. This is the one girl that he had put between us in the past. This is the one girl that he can bring up to create insecurity in me at its worst. I fought with myself back and forth about confronting him. I tried talking to him first about articles that I’ve read online about connecting with past loves and exs destroy marriages. He assured me that there was nothing on his site that would upset me at all. In fact, I could look if I wanted to. I took more time to decide that one. He even listed the people that were on the site for me. The next morning, I asked to look in his computer. He became angry and began signing online, checking mail, and then turned his computer around as if he was annoying doing something else. Then he tossed the computer my way and said that I have issues and this was unbalanced. After all of his clicking, I had to confront him. I said, "I know that you want me to believe that I’m crazy but I know that I’m not". "I know that you deleted something just now, do you want her name?". He admits no responsibility and accountability. He actually had something to say that I looked at his computer without permission. Just last night all he had to say was how much this marriage means, and how we need to trust each other completely. I’m sorry but this seems counter intuitive. I certainly do not trust him any more than I did before. If trust is what he wants? Why deceive me?
I want to leave my husband
I have been unhappy with my husband of 16 years for the last 10 of them. I have tried to leave, but he places guilt on me that is tremendous. I even tried moving over 1000 miles away and he used the kids to get me to come back. I came back, but frankly, I am in love with another man.
He is a good person, and I don’t want to hurt him, but I can’t stand it here, but can’t seem to break it off.
I had an abortion without telling my boyfriend
I had an abortion and no one knows. Several years ago I was 35 in a bad relationship with two kids who were in jr high from a previous marriage. I hated my boyfriend and when I found out I was pregnant I immediately had an abortion..did not tell him—did not tell anyone at all. I scheduled it for the next week when he would be out of town and no questions asked. To this day no one knows. I was in a good job, good insurance, stable job, house, but I just didn’t want to go through the whole pregnancy, diapers, daycare again. Maybe I was selfish but I just didn’t want to do it. My hopefully soon to be ex has never found out about the abortion and as he is an abusive jerk I will never tell him.
I understood what I was getting into
I knew about my husband’s addiction before I ever confronted him. I knew exactly what sites he had visited and how long after our honeymoon he started. Somehow, I recognize that I wanted the upper hand in the relationship because I had fallen in love with him and felt so weak. I knew all the wrongs in the relationships, what would happen, how I would react... I knew myself quite well. I still love him still.
More Secrets Revealed – see what secrets people keep.
Benefits of Sharing Secrets – read why sharing secrets can be useful.
I am bored and frustrated with my boyfriend
I have doubts about the relationship with my current boyfriend because I think he has a gamming addiction. We also have a very different lifestyle and have a lot of differences on how we think of the future. He doesn’t have any goals and dreams and I am the opposite. I have goals and dreams. He also can’t please me in bed. I believe in liberation sex for women and I like it a-lot more than he does. I realize our love styles are different but when I have tried telling him how I feel and what I want in the past it just seems like he doesn’t listen because he doesn’t do anything about it and just makes excuses. I don’t know how to address these issues to him without feeling like an asshole. I am not good with confronting people about my feelings. We are also long distance relationship most of the time and when we are together those doubts are still in the back of my mind and I don’t know how to tell him anything. Also I talk dirty or talk about sex with other men or women online sometimes when I’m most sexually frustrated. He doesn’t call me and most of our discussion is about gaming and I want to talk about other things but when I try to he makes excuses like saying he’s too tired and can’t think and doesn’t know how to answer. When we first met we played 20 questions a lot and even though I haven’t ran out of questions he seems to have ran out of answers and I’m bored.