Relationship Issues Secrets

Still spend a lot of time thinking about my ex

I still look up my ex even after being recently married. We were talking off and on for five years when he was in military and I was dating my then-boyfriend now husband. Before that we dated briefly in college. For a time we got that old feeling again when we were "dating" (we were long distance). But it stopped after I moved to the same town he lived in. To my own folly I didn’t want to tell him where exactly I was moving to he just knew I was moving to the same state he was in and it freaked him out in the end. Eventually it was turning into something very unhealthy for the both of us plus my boyfriend moved with me. He doesn’t know that I moved to our recent location because I wanted to be closer to my ex. Twisted huh? After my ex cut contact with me I started driving around to hopefully see him and eventually I found out where he lived at the time and also what vehicle he drove. So for a few weeks I drove out to the adjacent parking lot closest to his vehicle and just watch. I even occasionally drove around his parking lot. It only lasted a few weeks till I realized it was getting very unhealthy. He emailed me only once after a couple years or so of any contact just to catch up. These days I look up his profile on facebook but through a fake profile and even look up his girfriend’s profile. I try to email him just to catch up but so far he hasn’t responded and I don’t blame him. I know there is no future with my ex but he still has a place in my heart.

My girlfriend lied about her past

I love my girlfriend of 2 years so much and want to marry her, but a lie she told me about her sexual history is destroying me. I had quit drinking and smoking since I got out of college but now I do it more than ever. I don’t care much about my job, or anything else because it’s something I can’t do anything about or change. I am so frustrated I just start screaming and throwing things when I’m alone. I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about what I’ve discovered. Its so horrible when the only person who can make you better is the one who is destroying you. I feel so lost and hopeless.

Feeling guilty about starting a new love life

I have recently separated from my husband, and I have already started seeing someone! I feel so guilty, I feel as if I’m cheating. It’s so exciting though. We have to sneak about all the time, get any moments together that we can. I think I love him, but I don’t want my ex to find out, not yet, it would destroy him. But I am being so risky, I’m sure I am going to get caught soon, and when I do I don’t know what to say or what to do. Oh my god, what am I doing? I should be enjoying a single life but I really like this new man. I’m so confused.

Lying in a polyamorous relationship

My wife and I have a polyamorous relationship which by definition should allow me and her to have a relationship or some version thereof outside the primary one. There was a woman at work and we became friends. I was not initially attracted to and in fact, was relieved when she revealed that her "crush" was not me though until the name was actually said I was a bit anxious that it would be. We talked a lot about her crush and my wife; we started hanging out a lot. During a couple of those times I began to feel a little uncomfortable but flattered with the attention she was showing me... texting, calling, sitting close and touching arms at the restaurant with some other mutual friends. One day we had an outing, lunch, park, and coffee---essentially a date... except that I did not admit to myself much less my wife that that is what is was. Later that evening the woman and I had sex. It wasn’t the sex that my wife had a problem with, it was the "secret" and "lying" that was enveloped in the two weeks from the revealing of the crush to the night we had sex. I did not tell my wife when it went from "I’m not interested, and "It’s not like that" to "Hey, I think I could sleep with her." A lie of omission.

Lying about e-mailing my ex-boyfriend

My boyfriend is uncomfortable with the fact that I’ve had boyfriends before him. He read my emails and found that I have an ex-boyfriend I keep in touch with via email. He lives on the other side of the country, and I haven’t seen him since we broke up. The friendship is completely platonic. My boyfriend doesn’t want me to email him anymore, but I refuse to let him choose my friends for me. I changed my email password and continue to talk to my friend. I lied to my boyfriend and told him I’m not emailing my friend anymore. My boyfriend and I talk about everything, and it’s physically painful to have this secret I’m keeping from him. Even though I feel that emailing my friend is not a wrong thing to do, I feel so guilty. If I tell my boyfriend the truth, he’d go insane, and possibly leave me. I love him so much.

No longer in love with my husband

I recently cheated on my husband of 7 years. We have two children. I am no longer attracted to him. We married young, I was naive and he took advantage of that. Now that I am wiser I realize that made a mistake. I do not want a divorce, I could not provide an adequate lifestyle for my children. He spent the initial years of our marriage occupied with his friends and the 2nd half occupied with work. I am no longer in love. I do not know what I will do. I am overwhelmed by my attraction to the other man. Our connection is stronger than my marital connection has ever been.

Lied about the number of past partners

I just lied to my girlfriend about how many past partners I’ve had. I told her 5, but it’s really 19.

I’m moderately happy with my marriage

I am moderately happy in my marriage. I am in love with a friend of mine and have been so for about 3 months. He wants to marry me (he’s married with two very young children).

My husband is very involved with work and puts me as a far back priority. We’re in couple’s counseling and I just don’t know if it will work.

Lied to my boyfriend about sex

My boyfriend broke my heart a while back. When I met him, I was honest about the number of men I slept with even though he made me feel sort of bad about it because I’m only the second girl he slept with. I told him if I could do it all over again, he would be my one and only, and I mean that to this day… we told each other we felt like soul mates, and I never felt happier than when I was with him. However, when he got a new job around lots of new women, he started to act different and almost stopped talking to me completely. I was so stressed out, I cried all the time, because I couldn’t believe that my perfect man was just fading away. When this all started happening we lived together, so right after I got him to confess to me that he didn’t want to be with me anymore, I moved out. He never called to check up on me afterwards and I had nowhere to go, so I ended up staying with a close guy friend of mine. He always had suspicions of me doing something with this guy, or us liking each other, but that was just blind jealousy because I never had feelings for my friend. Still, in my depression, I wasn’t thinking and ended up sleeping with him a couple of times, which in my mind felt like revenge because I knew he would hate for that to happen, and I hated him for what he did to me. I felt depressed for months, and ended up sleeping with 4 more guys, 2 of which were one time things... I talked to all of these guys on a daily basis so I didn’t have any real one night stands, but I never felt as attracted to anyone as I did to him, and never felt really good about any of it. Recently he’s come back into my life, apologizing and saying he’s made a big mistake, and I can’t help taking him back because I always was in love with him. I was never unfaithful to him in our relationship, and never would be. He kept asking me how many guys I slept with again and again, making a huge deal of it, so I eventually told him I slept with one guy even though it wasn’t any of his business. I didn’t lie flat out because I did sleep with one guy, but I felt like if I told him I slept with 4 more he’d judge who I am and never let go of it. I just want to move on in my life and never tell another lie again. I plan on getting tested and trying again with my boyfriend, but I know he has lied to me before so I feel that at this point it is only necessary for us to not lie to each other. I am going to forget about the past and start anew.

I am leaving my husband

I am cheating on my husband with my first love from 20+ years ago who is also married. We have been emailing, texting and having phone sex for 7 months now. We have had sex twice and are planning to get together again soon (he lives in another city). I plan to leave my husband of 12 years not because I’m in love with my ex, but because I have been unhappily married for years now. I am finally getting the courage to leave him after at least 5 years of being unhappy.