Relationship Issues Secrets

Anxious attachment leads me to make poor choices

I have low self-esteem despite being a lawyer, quite pretty and slim. Abandonment issues. But my actions are my own. I fell in love with a friend — deep, passionate and we started a relationship. I left my husband. I adore my boyfriend. He lives 1000 miles away but I trying to move there. I got drunk and slept with a friend who was helping me deal with the divorce and instantly regretted it. Having hit rock bottom, I’m going to suck up the guilt and not burden him with this terrible thing and vow never to do anything like this again. And be the best partner I can be.

Hiding contact with ex

I lied about my ex contacting me because it drudged up feelings and I engaged in a conversation with him. Ironically, it made me closer and more attached to my boyfriend. My boyfriend sensed something was up but he thinks it was something else and we got in a huge fight about that. Now I’m terrified my boyfriend will somehow find out the truth and never trust me again.

Told a really big lie

I lied about something that if found out I will lose my spouse and it can be used against me... but my spouse cheated on me and I don’t know if he is still cheating. I have been thinking about cheating just to get back, but I won’t cause I fear God. However, I have cheated before we got married and once during our marriage. Guess karma actually got me back.

Boyfriend is hearing about my one night stand

I cheated on my boyfriend in a one night stand. Days later I got a text from the guy’s roommate asking if I had had sex with him. My boyfriend saw the message and I lied to him. I love him so much and can’t see my future without him. I feel sick to my stomach every day because of it.

I hate my friends

I hate that all my closest friends are completely neurotic about all kinds of weird stuff, and I find myself smoothing over things and soothing them ALL THE TIME. I never feel supported when it comes to my own issues, they can never stop talking about themselves for long enough to listen to me complain for once. It’s driving me absolutely crazy. But I love them and can’t imagine not having them in my life. It’s making me really conflicted, and I’m starting to resent them.

A crush led to cheating and now heartache

I had a crush on this guy at my church for about 3/4 years until my friend started to pursue him. I went back to my old boyfriend and things moved on. Over the years this guy and I had chemistry and became really good friends although my infatuation with him increased while he was oblivious to it and oh so charming!

I am now engaged to my then old boyfriend, it’s been just over a month. However, over the last few weeks, the other guy (let’s call him; Romeo) decided to entertain some thoughts with me. We discussed how we had always been attracted to each other and how we both thought about what it would be like with the other. Before any damage was done we decided to get some distance. It wasn’t long before we were talking again and planned to meet up. A week later it happened. He picked me up after midnight; we drove around and talked about what was happening. Then we hooked up. I was so conflicted and I kept pulling away. But curiosity got the best of me and we fooled around a bit before deciding to completely cut ties. A week or two goes by and I’m dreading it! I even started smoking again! I couldn’t stop thinking about him and that night and whether he had feelings for me. But wait! I’m engaged to marry my best friend! My best friend who knows all of me, all my secrets... except this one...

Finally after two weeks we saw each other in a mutual setting and it sparked something. Later that night we started to text and catch up over lost time. Admitting we missed each other’s company. It wasn’t long before I was over at his place. We drove around and finally just parked up and discussed again (like the first time) “what’s going on?”... this is wrong I can’t believe we’re sitting here together right now… and then it hit, we were hooking up and touching each other like we were the only ones around. Obviously. But what I mean is, I forgot momentarily that I was engaged and I was cheating! What the F!! I had fallen for this guy. But as he said, “I’m a free spirit, I’m not ready for a relationship. I’m attracted to you but I don’t have any feelings”... ok... well I do... we get so close to having sex before something in me just snaps. But not enough to stop entertaining each other. It was almost sunrise so we drove around and went our separate ways.

The next morning I go to church and he’s having coffee with my partner. I go to greet both of them.... one on the cheek and one on the lips.. I’m sure you can work out who was who... what the fcuk have I got myself into ?!?!

We didn’t talk at all. And after a gym sesh with my “therapist” I decided to text him and cut it off for good. Until he didn’t respond and my mind went crazy. I hated that I had developed these feelings and he was free to just move on. I know it was wrong! But I also feel like I played myself.

When he did respond we both agreed it was time to move on. After all, we are part of the same circles and he “has love for both of us” wtf... cause I asked if his friendship with my partner would change... he says nah it won’t but I’ll have to keep my distance for a bit... to which he says—you got a good guy, don’t let him go to waste… wishes me all the best and “hopes I’m ok”… but I’m not. My head is a mess!

I want this to die with me. I’ve only told 2 of my girlfriends and I feel so conflicted! But it’s not worth losing my husband to be over.

I messed up. I don’t know what more I can do but I definitely need to take this to the grave. Till then, I’m praying for short-term memory loss to take away this guilt. Thanks for reading and I hope you can see my mistakes and run as far away as you can if you ever experience the same thing! Because one moment Of pleasure is NOT worth a lifetime of regret and pain.

I deserve better than my cheating husband

My husband had an emotional affair with a 21-year-old girl, and didn’t inform her he was married. After a month of searching, I found more secret friends he kept from me. All women. He looks at other women too... right on front of me. We are attending therapy, but I don’t know if I can pull through this. I love him. I adore him. I deserve better.

He’s completely moved on and it hurts

This is the first year he hasn’t told me happy birthday. It hurts even more thinking that he’s celebrating his new girlfriend’s birthday with her because our birthdays are only days apart. I wish him happiness but why couldn’t that happiness remain with me?

I want to kiss him

I tried to kiss a man who isn’t my husband. I don’t want to kiss my husband. I want to kiss the other man.

But we didn’t kiss cause he stopped me and said “it isn’t worth it”. I know he is right. But I still want to feel his lips on mine.

Ex-husband, new boyfriend, and unwanted sex

My ex had cheated on me and I moved in with my new bf. My ex went back to Oregon, as did I a few months after to see family. We have a daughter together and every time we went to see him on out vacation he would force me into bathrooms and try to kiss me and get laid. I’d push him off over and over but the last night I was there I gave in and we had sex, I cried half way through and made him get off of me because I felt so gross. When I came back I planned to tell my bf but then we found out I was pregnant. Now it’s almost three years later and the guilt is crushing me. I know he will leave if I say anything. I deserve it I guess...