Relationship Issues Secrets

Family Secrets

My boyfriend’s sister’s husband seen me naked and asked of we can play with ourselves in front of one another. I declined him!! Cause I knew the level of disrespect I would be entering into if I made that decision!

My ex tried to kiss me

I met an ex out for drinks when my husband was out of town. We got very drunk together and stayed out late. He tried to kiss me, I said I can’t I am married. I left. We haven’t talked since, nor do I plan to ever again. I lied to my husband when he asked what I did while he was gone. I cannot get the guilty feelings out of my head, I am obsessing over it. I didn’t do anything wrong exactly but I didn’t put myself in a good situation.

Don’t want to get married

My boyfriend wants us to be married forever, and have kids together. But I’ve been saving up to be sterilized since I was 13 years old (when I first heard of it), and honestly, the longest time I’ve wanted to be in a relationship is 2 years. Marriage is my personal Hell.

Told boyfriend I was a virgin

I told my boyfriend I was a virgin because when I first had sex I was only 15 going on 16. I didnknow what I was doing and I didnfeel any love from the guy and he didnpop my cherry! I feel as if my boyfriend already knows but he just wants me to say it! I love him, I really do but sometimes this just eats away at me all the time.

A secret so big I still can’t tell

About ten years ago, I left a situation before my time was done. You could call it dropping out. I felt like a failure and was ashamed, so to keep people from asking about it I lied about it. Only a few people know the truth. Over time, it became more comfortable to tell the lie than admit the truth and open the wound. It became reaction whenever asked, and it made me feel better. My partner was one of those people when we first met. She was in another relationship so I didnsee the harm in it, and at the time it was inconceivable that we’d be together. And I would actually forget about what I’d said. Now, years later, we have a child, and I canescape the guilt. It weighs on me. For the truth to come out would maybe mean affecting our kid. I keep thinking, “What have I done to this poor thing?” I havensaid anything yet, and know I need to. It’s killing me.

Cannot forgive my husband

I (38, F) am overcome with anxiety and depression because my husband (41, M) of 16 years will not be completely honest with me. I have discovered numerous "white lies" over things that did not seem to be worth lying over...some he knows I know, and some he does not. He makes excuses and rarely just says, "You’re right. I’m sorry. That was stupid." His dishonesty and his lack of "owning it" has created a huge breakdown in our ability to communicate honestly, and in my ability to trust him.

We have been together for 16 years, and in the beginning of our relationship, I thought we were the perfect couple – honest, open-minded, faithful, and deeply in love. Now, he has no trust for sharing things with me because I become so anxious over some of the more "deep" confessions...but my anxiety is high because he has lied about so many stupid things that when he is sharing something more substantial, I canhelp but think..."maybe this is a lie too" because how could he share something deep when he canbe honest about the mundane?

Recently, over one of the incidents, we tried to "restart" our marriage, promising that we would do EVERYTHING in our powers to make it work, to be honest and open again, to do all of the things that would move us forward, to leave the past in the past...he insisted I could look through his phone, his email, and he would have nothing to hide. We had two days of pure BLISS, the most wonderful two days we have spent in 10 years – where he shared things he has never told me, and I shared things I have never told anyone; then he began acting distant again, hiding his cell phone, taking it to the bathroom every time he went, etc.

When I asked him about it, he said that he just didnthink he needed to share EVERYTHING with me, and that I needed to just trust him. His reversion to the past only served to literally break my heart because I really believed he was going to change, and I began to believe that those two days of happiness were just a mirage built on more lies. I was so ready to start again, to be a better person, to be more open-minded, to really let go of the stupid stuff we have done and said in the past and make our relationship what it once was, and the best it could ever be.

Now, we have tried to repair some of the LAST incident (the most recent one to which I just referred) but I have lost faith in him, hope in our relationship, and I do not see how I can ever forgive him for making me feel as if I am NOT worth his time or that the possibility of having some discomfort in being honest with me is not worth it. I keep trying to forgive. (I have read literally 30-50 articles about forgiveness, moving on, building better relationships, etc. at this point.) I just canseem to let it go and move forward. I love this man SO much and want nothing more than to resolve this and move forward with the best attitude, but I donknow how, and I worry that maybe I am not being honest with myself; maybe I canforgive him.

How do I get past this???

Sick of his lies

I read these posts and honestly some of them sound like me talking. I too have been engaged for years. My first ring I found out later was based on a lie because he was scared to lose me. The second ring he put on layaway and never made a payment. Here we are almost six years later and all we do is talk about planning a wedding. I think the talk of it is good enough for him because it fits the lying tongue in him. He lies about everything even when everything is on the line-his job, his relationship and his finances. I just really do not understand how a person can lie so much but expect so much love in return. He now has me as well as another young lady both trying to be who we are in his life but for what reason because he respects no one’s feelings and no ones heart but himself. I used to be a spiteful person and learned from my ways when I was younger. The lies in him have ignited the old me but I still feel that it is wrong to pay a person back for their wrong. What I will not do is keep lying and smiling to people to cover up for the issues in our relationship. The sad thing is that the other lady is so much in the dark about his and my status until it is unreal. Everyone has told her what the real situation is but her lust is so strong and her need to want A man until she will pretty much except whatever he offers her. I know it’s time for me to move on and stop dealing with someone who could care less about my heart and find someone who knows and loves what is inside of me. Life is too short to deal with lying, cheating people. Would a man want someone to do his daughter that way... ask him that and he says no but keeps doing the same thing. I hope he has keys to that apartment of hers.... no wait I do!

I’m a straight man who has had sex with other men

I have had two sexual relations with men... they were entirely sexual release and I am not emotionally as well as physically attracted to men.

Boyfriend intrigued by thought of me cheating and I actually have

I have cheated and I actually have left enough evidence behind it was easy for him to figure it out.

Why did I do it? Well, two reasons.

One, I did it for me. I found someone I really wanted to have sex with, make love with. I needed it.

Second, I know he is intrigued by the idea and the possible reality that I might have cheated or have actually cheated. Yet, he never speaks directly to his discoveries of the truth.

I do know all, each and every one of his previous girlfriends and his first wife cheated. He has told me about each one in very specific detail. Now I think he has the whole cheating thing stuck in his head as a trigger for his arousal. Maybe he was always this way.

We have talked about it by skirting the issue. In these conversations, I always tell him cheating is a bad thing. That seems to disappoint him, yet it is also somewhat reassuring to him as well. He is so torn by it all lust vs. fear.

However, he continues to ask so many questions about my solo business trips and who I met or spent my time with. So once I did tell him I let someone kiss me at a business conference (there was more but I held back the rest). He was wrapped in the vision of it for weeks. He even tried coming home early and coming and going at odd times hoping to catch me.

I know it also intrigues him when I comment somewhat suggestively about his past girlfriends and previous wife and all their infidelities. In fact I am friends with his ex-wife and she confirmed for me that he knew and never did anything to stop her.

I have asked him directly a few times if he wanted me to be like all his girlfriends and first wife and cheat too. He avoided a direct answer. But he did ask me about how it would happen. So I told him I could meet some someone on one of my convention trips where after a few drinks, would be escorted back to my room and be seduced and ravaged. I was very explicit in every detail. It was a real story, but I did not reveal that. The story aroused him so much, he asked me to tell it to him again as we made love. I have now told him the story several times in several weeks adding more details each time.

I think this whole thing keeps us bound, he trusts me to stay and I know he will stay and remain faithful. I wish I had someone to talk to about this. Not that I’m bothered by it, it’s just that I have never met anyone like him.

Feel like cheating because my husband did

My husband has cheated on me twice. The first time was not very serious and I caught them talking on the phone before he was able to take it further. The second affair ended only four months ago and lasted 6mo. We separated for a month after he told me he loves her. While separated I became attracted to another man. It was a surprise to me and I did all I could to ignore him. He asked me for help. That night we talked for hours and he kissed me. He made me feel like a woman again. Now my estranged husband wants to come home and I am confused. I understand that the other fling was fantasy but I find myself lusting for him. I have made plans to see him in three weeks and hope to fulfill my need and hopefully close this chapter in my book. Part of me does not want to impose the pain on my husband did to me while the other part wants to feel satisfied. I must act wisely.