Relationship Issues Secrets

Lied to my boyfriend to get his affection

I lied to my boyfriend several times about my past so that he would feel sorry for me... I only did it because I craved his affection but that affection was so addicting that it escalated far beyond what it should have... I haven’t lied to him in months but what I did do has just recently come back to haunt me and now I feel absolutely horrible... it was so wrong and I hate myself for it.

My boyfriend is too nice

I wish my boyfriend would stop being such a puppy and be a man. Some women worry that their men are cheating, I openly encourage mine to do so and he won’t.

Attracted to his friend

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year. But I’m secretly attracted to a friend of mine and his. He’s already cheated on me once but I forgave him and decided to give it another try. I know he’s attracted to other girls also, so I figure it’s not that bad? But I also think I’m starting not to love him anymore. Physical attraction, emotional attraction, it’s all going away... Well, yeah, he’s very attractive, but I don’t feel like I can be emotionally happy with him anymore. We have our good moments every now and then, but I can’t help the fact that I’m starting to like other guys. I feel bad because it seems like we’re both just pushing each other away and it’s hard to deal with!

My friend is a compulsive liar

One of my best friend is a compulsive liar for sure. Me and all my friends don’t know what to do any more. She is always lying, always. And when we confront her she acts like a victim and call us disgusting and that we are bad friends and many other ugly things. She can never confess that she is lying. She lies about every little tiny thing, for example that she was talking on the phone or something that doesn’t even matter. No one of us can trust that the things that she is telling us is true so no one of us believe her anymore. She tells everyone our secret and even though we have proofs from the people she told she can’t admit that she told and just start a fight and call us ugly names and that we are the worst friends ever. I have known her for a long time, since I was 11, now I’m 16. First when we were getting to know each other I believed every word because her lies are so deep. But it didn’t took so long time to see that she was lying, and her lies have gotten bigger and bigger and bigger. I hate this, I hate that she lies to me because she is a great girl but is a big liar. I am giving up and many of my friends to, we can’t do this anymore. I think that the only thing to do is just walk away because she will never admit that she is lying and therefor never get any help.

My husband has cheated on me over a long period of time

I discovered my husband of 20+ years in an affair with a co-worker. Not providing any excuses on his part, but from what I am told, she pursued him for a good 5 years, starting out as a friend, a confidant, someone he could share frustrations with. Over the course of a year, they became intimate. What is most sickening is that I was caring for his elderly parents, helping them sell a home, move, plan a wedding anniversary bash and being the doting wife at the same time. He’s very big on his "Image", not wanting ANYONE to know -he’s the last person friends and family would suspect of dong anything like this. I confronted him, chose not to kick his a$$ out the door, because I didn’t want to push him in her direction.. (I certainly wasn’t going to make it easy on her). I knew from other people at the company, that she was trying to bag herself an executive with a fat paycheck, and nice house, new truck, big retirement and lots of toys. He supposedly ended the "emotional" affair immediately after I found out. But I’d have been a fool to think it would have ended that quickly. As I suspected, they did go on to see each other for months after. The OW has even made some very bold moves in my presence that clearly indicate she is jilted and things DID NOT end as he claimed. She has resorted to talking my daughter and I on social media, making appearances at our church, and hang-up calls. We decided to do the whole christian counseling thing and for a few months, it was helping, until I realized he was late for the counseling sessions because he was meeting with her, and knew exactly where I would be. I’ve since been told by a source I absolutely trust, this is one of 5 affairs he has had in our 20+ years of marriage. During counseling, and before I knew about the other 4 affairs, our counselors emplored him to come clean and be totally honest. They also did not believe that it was an "emotional" affair. His body language wreaked of deception. Nonetheless, he continued to lie. Now, a year later, I still cannot trust a word he utters. If he’d have come completely clean, I would have been able to process 100% of the wound. Now I am left with open wounds that aren’t healing. I stayed with him because I love him, but now not even sure "how" I love him.... It’s like trying to blowup a balloon with a hole in it.. I’m considered to be a very attractive woman, and a pretty easy going wife, but it doesn’t matter how I look or what a great wife I am, he will keep seeking attention for his narcissistic ego until the day he dies.

Involved with a compulsive liar

I moved in with my partner 2010 it was a whirl-wind romance, and went wrong very quickly. He was always at his ex-wife’s house seeing his son and I got sick of this and made some comments about it being a funny carry-on. After this things went from bad to worse. When we first met we talked about our love of children and both said we would like to foster, he’d told me he was semi retired. A few months into living together he said he did not want to foster and it would affect his income. That was deceit number one! it came out that he’d faked a nervous breakdown so his ex-wife could work full time building up her own business and he could cash in on private health insurance enabling him to stay home and child mind. He started being very secretive and we spent many weekends not speaking and stone walling each other. After one of these weekends I came home from work and he told me the relationship was over, said we were too different and it would not work. I was very upset. I then found out that he’d been meeting up with and suspected having an affair with the school secretary. I found somewhere else to live and so did he. He said he’d finished with the secretary and to be honest I did miss him. We started dating again. He proposed and then confessed that he had been married three times before not just once like he’d always maintained. He had also left his previous wife for a young lass aged 23 he was 47 at the time. I forgave all this and have never told a soul about the wives, his affairs etc. The relationship is going well however, I feel ashamed that I’ve taken him back, worried he’ll mess me around again. I wish I had talked to someone because it is eating away at me and making me depressed.

Crush on a married professor

Sigh Okay, here it goes. I have a "good-girl" reputation. However, I question that now after the end of this semester. Ever since I saw this person, I thought :"Wow! It’s so refreshing to see a young, Black, attractive professor!" We have been flirting toward to end of our last semester. I’ve caught him checking me out a couple of times...

Here’s the thing: He’s married, with children. I’m in a relationship with a good man.

But I can’t help but to fantasize about him. I keep picturing how he could be in bed. He excites me and I don’t know why. I feel like shit, because I’ve always been the type to get angry at home-wreckers and women who have good men and don’t know how to act. I feel like such a hypocrite. I just hope this summer kills this desire.

-Bad Habits.

Can never share with my partner

I fantasize about other people during sex.

Difficult time being faithful to my boyfriend

When I first started dating my boyfriend, I had sex with two other men. One man I was seeing before I met my boyfriend. I broke up with him quickly and never saw him again. I was newly divorced and my feelings were raw and all over the place. The other man lives locally and wanted to date me. I told him no, I had a boyfriend, but I wanted to keep him as a friend. I kissed this man on several occasions, but I didn’t like it. I had no romantic thoughts of this man. I lied to my boyfriend. One day I told him about the first guy, but when he asked me if there was anyone else, and if this person I had sex with was someone we knew, I lied and told him no. The truth is I had sex with a man that he has met. I do not want to tell him this because it would hurt him terribly. I don’t see any benefit in telling him this information. I don’t know why I told him about the first guy. It didn’t do any good at all. It happened a long time ago and it was when we first started dating and we weren’t in a committed relationship yet. One time when we broke up I joined a dating webiste. I started to email someone. I never told my boyfriend. When we broke up I went on a hike with a man from the dating website. I have no romantic interest in anyone but my boyfriend. I ended the emails just today because I want to put my full attention into my current relationship. I am hoping I will marry him someday. I have wanted a committed relationship with him for sometime and have struggled with being intimate with him when we are not married. This is hard for me to process.

Wracked with guilty for cheating on my husband

I cheated on my husband with a guy friend a few weeks ago when we were drunk. We did not go all the way but I’m still wracked with guilt. I probably think about this incident 75% of my waking hours, if not more. I am miserable.

I told my husband the next day that I had kissed the guy, and he forgave me for that, but told me anything else happens and he’s gone. I was bawling, and for fear of losing him, did not admit that it went further than kissing, though luckily not as far as sex.

The guy friend promised he wouldn’t tell anyone, but I’m having trouble believing him. He has a lot of mutual friends with both myself and my husband, and I’m afraid he will tell when drunk, just to brag, or whatever -- he is single, so no ramifications for him. I’m scared to death that my husband will find out via someone messaging him on Facebook -- I even changed his FB privacy settings on his phone one night when he was in the shower to try to make this less likely.

Part of me wants to come clean but since it was a one-time thing, I’m reading lots of advice to the contrary -- that it’s my burden to bear, and mine alone.

I absolutely hate myself for ruining my entire life over 2 minutes of what seemed like it would be fun at the time, but really wasn’t.