Relationship Issues Secrets

Decided to leave my boyfriend

I’ve been trying to convince myself that my relationship with my boyfriend of 4 years is still working. Or, more accurately, still worth saving. I moved 2 hours away about a year ago for financial reasons, and the truth is that the past year has been killing us. Now, although I love him, I don’t feel the same way I used to. To make matters worse, I have strong feelings for someone else who is very much interested in me--and willing to wait until I’m single. I keep telling my boyfriend that we’ll do our best to work things out, but my mind is already made up: I’m going to leave him. Not for the new guy, but for myself.

Acting out by cheating

I’m an idiot. I’ve been dating someone for years and we have lived together for almost 2 years now. I’ve cheated on her multiple times although to convince myself they weren’t cheating, I told myself that only two times of the seven times involved sex and they occurred on a quasi break. Most recently I went on a trip. While there I got drunk and ran into a drunk girl who had taken an interest in me. It was easy, convenient, had no emotional attachment, and I was drunk. We didn’t go all the way way, but I feel terrible. I don’t know what to do with myself. Tell her, as this has been a reoccurring problem, not tell her...ahhhh! To make matters worse, we have as you guessed it, relationship problems. I feel like I’m paying, supporting, and doing everything in the relation ship. I also feel like our sex life could be much better, we’re currently only doing it once a month at best.

I know I have a problem. When ever I heavily drink/ party, if there is a situation where there is an easy opportunity to cheat and I’m drunk my morals go away. The solution seems obvious, stop drinking, but I feel pressured to drink/party heavily in certain social contexts (Graduations, special occasions, etc..) I love my girl friend and she doesn’t deserve this! She may have her problems but so do I (Including writing secret internet relationship rants... ok this is the first one) but my behavior is unacceptable! ‘i need to stop but how can I hold myself to the same relationship standards that I hold her to. I should probably not booze so hard or put myself in those types of situations....or break up

Smart teen figuring things out early in life

I have recently had a very hard 8th grade year. I just wanna come clean out-right and say that I’ve never had a girlfriend until this year; I loved her very deeply and she broke my heart to pieces. Its been about 3 and 1/2 months but I still love her even after everything and if I get a chance to do something that will positively affect her, I will take it. Another major development in my life this year has been that I realized that my best friend since like 2nd grade prefers to be with other people than someone who has been with him through a lot of troubles. The saddest thing is, when I tried to help him, he sorta betrayed me and made it seem like I was completely manipulating him. I also realized that one of my "best friends" is a compulsive liar. I’m no psychiatrist but I would say that he has Borderline Personality Disorder, from my research and analysis. Thankfully I’ve been the only major victim of his lying and its only went on for a few months so I figured it out pretty quick; and thankfully he hasn’t hurt any of my friends or especially my ex as I said above. I believe in my heart’s truest nature that I have made the best decision by telling a teacher that I trust about this problem and hopefully no one will ever be hurt by this person again. My worst fear is that people in my school will hate me and never trust me again because I was mature enough to tell a teacher or "snitch" on my best friend. While he may get most people with him, I’ll finally find out who are my "true" friends. My biggest hope though, is that the ex that I still like believes me; if not, she might start dating a compulsive liar. This is for all those teens that have had these problems and to say that you’re not alone.

My boyfriend has problem with addiction

Ive been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. We have a 3 year old child that adores him. I adore him. When we met I saw him as this wonderful man who treated me so much better then my previous relationship. I went into the relationship knowing he had an addictive personality, you name it he gets addicted to it. But he was open and honest (or so it seemed) with me about it and his other qualities seemed so promising and wonderful I was willing to work with him. I never thought I would be with someone like that. Then slowly I started noticing the lies. Stupid lies. He would turn off the stove literally behind my back while we are cooking in the kitchen and look me straight in the face and say he did not when I would question him. I could cry and scream and beg for him to just admit it because I already knew the truth, it never moved him. I was understanding of his addictions, hoping that I would not scare him into lying to me. I wanted him to trust me with his issues. And for a while that worked, or so I thought. Then the stress of a previous relationship of his that produced a child came up. Court ensued, we had to move states because we could not afford the child support that was ordered. I had seen how awful and abusive his previous relationship was and I convinced myself that he was lying because of that relationship and how he could never do anything right with her. I kept reminding him that I was not "her" and that he did not need to worry about me retaliating and if he were to just be straight with me we could work it out. Slowly the stress of the situation got him back into drugs (he had cleaned up shorty before our child was born and stayed clean for over a year). The lies got worse. Sometimes I would ignore the sign so I would not have to deal with it. Sometimes I confronted him. Even if I showed him proof he would still insist he was telling the truth. Its so frustrating! He has gotten clean, then relapsed many times. Ive given in and done whatever I can to make him feel like he can be open with me to no avail. Also trying to juggle everything in our life so he does not have to deal with that stress in hopes the drug use would slow and then in turn the need to lie even though I know that is not the only reason he lies. Sometimes he lies just to lie. Just recently it has gotten to to be the worst it has ever been. I have no faith in him, he is pissed cause he feels I constantly nag and interrogate him. He refuses to admit he is doing anything wrong. I’m slowly realizing that nothing I ever do with fix this. I feel so awful that I brought a child into this world where his parents will more than likely not be together in the near future and he will be another statistic. I have made myself so dependent on my boyfriend that I feel I have no way out. I’m turning into someone I hate. I’m losing my mind, I am physically ill almost everyday waiting for the next lie, the next proof of drug use, the next time he leaves me dealing with everything. The worst part about it is he has me feeling like all this is my fault! If you ever find yourself with someone showing signs of lying and or addiction, RUN! There are people out there that will show you the love and respect you deserve.

Use online sites for excitement

I do not cheat on my girlfriend in any physical sense... But I go online and chat with girls about sex and kink and fetishes. Of course it makes me horny and sometimes I have sex with my girlfriend afterward or masturbate if she is asleep or away.

I suppose I can equate it, in a sense, to look at pornography. Only instead of stimulating my eyes I am stimulating my imagination... Still, my girlfriend is the best and she would never do anything like this. I just feel bad about it today... I’ve deleted my account and my e-mail but I don’t know if that’s enough.

Dealing with sex and lies

So I’ve been married for 1 1/2 yrs now. I THINK I love my husband. I used to KNOW but then i caught him in several lies which I confronted him on. He admitted and trust has just gone down since then. The whole experience however have made me think about the relationship we have and what I usually put up with because I truly believed in our relationship and truly loved him. One thing I do put up with is our sex life. He decides when we have sex as if i ask he suddenly is not well. This has been the case before I even knew about the lies. I have tried to communicate to him that it isn’t exactly how I want it to be. When we do have sex sometimes it last 5 mins other times it is way too long—ending always with me being left frustrated. But I put up with it because I love him. If I tell him I like something he unwillingly does it then returns to ensuring that he gets what he wants. With all the issues we have recently I have been thinking what it would be like to be with someone else. What would it be like to actually have mind blowing sex. But for now I will only wonder and still try to work on things with my husband...

I wanna catch my boyfriend lying

I don’t trust my partner anymore and I want to get out of the relationship, but first I want to catch my partner in a blatant lie, then I will leave.

Boyfriend needs all of my time and attention

I don’t know where to classify this, my secret is that I love my boyfriend so much that I’d die for him gladly but at the same time, I wish he can give me some space while he is in the house to do other things not with him, for example play games online or write or read a magazine without him thinking that I’m bored with him! his mentality is that I should be extremely happy and joyful and around him and smiling to show him that I’m enjoying my time with him ! I don’t want him to leave me or go somewhere else but he is difficult to please...

My insecurity is getting the best of me

I have cheated several times in my marriage, I have some insecurity issues prior to our marriage due to a cheating girlfriend (with my best-friend) and a secret that my mother kept from me for 19 years concerning my biological father. I have the mentality that if those very special women in my life could hurt me, anyone could and probably would. I have anxiety and stress attacks bi-weekly with thoughts that my wife has also cheated, is cheating, or will in the future. I am seeking ways to cope with these attacks but its very difficult. What man wants to feel like his wife is two timing him? I know that trust and communication is key in marriage but I honestly do not trust my wife regarding infidelity. She is a really good person but has shown in past relationships to jump ship, now that I think about she was in a relationship when we met, go figure. I don’t think I will ever trust anyone. I’m wondering if I should let her go and hit her with the the old classic line "Its not you, Its me?" I don’t know.

Secrets are causing me anxiety

Okay here goes, this isn’t going to make much sense but it’s more for my personal use. I feel very guilty about this and I have never told anyone who wasn’t involved about it. When I had just started in my relationship with him, I was emotionally invested in another person as well. I didn’t think much about my emotional investment and somewhat physical because I thought that the relationship was not going to last long at all. It was the first time I had ever experienced a physical attachment and I really liked it. I feel very sick to my stomach and guilty that the sweet feelings he felt, that I felt as well, they were brand new to us. We shared the same feelings, and I really feel good that I realized that the feelings we both felt were true. The thing is, it hurts to think I was somewhat cheating on him, but the reason I did so was because I only viewed him as a friend with benefits. I did not want to become attached to him because I was going to leave in a few months anyways, so I was not taking the relationship seriously. Me and the other person I was emotionally invested in eventually fell through, because of him, I do not blame him, since it was my choosing, and every time I engaged in sexual activities with the other person I felt guilty and gross. I am not doing that ever again, but the bad part is the guilt was eating me up inside and now I have become very anxious and insecure in the relationship since because I kept this secret from him I am paranoid he will keep a secret from me. Thank you for this, I feel better already.