Relationship Issues Secrets
I’m keeping a secret from my loved one.
My boyfriend is spending money on his ex
My boyfriend is co-signed on his ex’s car loan and she’s quit paying it. Every month he says he’s getting money from her to pay it but has been using our finances. I feel hurt and betrayed because we’ve been together for 3 years and he says we aren’t engaged because he can’t afford a ring. He can’t afford a ring because he’s paying for her. This makes me question our relationship! I don’t know how to get past my feelings or tell him that my status on our relationship is in question. So I keep it all to myself...this is my secret.
Using porn to compensate for sex life
My girlfriend is the only woman I have eyes for. Our sex life is lacking, so I secretly watch pornography. Unless the actress looks vaguely similar to my girlfriend, it does nothing for me.
My doubts are getting the best of me
I suspect my wife had an affair with my cousin. Our marriage was very rocky due to outside influences. One of our kids looks different (hair, ears, etc.) and I had a DNA test. It came back I am the father, but still have feelings of doubt. There have been a few odd comments made years ago, and I find myself holding on to them. Without a polygraph I don’t think I will ever believe her. There does not seem to have been anything else since that time other than hiding two credit cards from me, both had charges from Target and WalMart only on them. Now when checking our credit report I am looking for new accounts. I want to raise our kids and then leave her. I don’t know if my insecurities are to blame for this but my heart is screaming at me to do something about it. What can I do? Forgive and Forget? I cannot forgive a hunch. Would I, probably, and then be with as many women as I can.
Emotional affair has made me a wreck
We were both married to our spouses but had an intense physical and emotional affair for almost 4 years. He and I, despite the odds, really thought we could get to that place together. Being cheated on myself, I was running from a bad marriage(no fighting or abuse but lots of lies and deception). He married a woman whom he never emotionally connected with, who is narcissistic, loud and belittling. Our affair is now over, I left my marriage, he stayed in his lifeless marriage for his kids. He never told her he has slept with another woman for years. He hasn’t told her of the trips we took. He never will tell her of our hopes and dreams. I could vomit right now writing this. I realize that for the many years, He lied about his level of commitment to "us" just to avoid loneliness and disappointing me. He feared being labeled a divorcee, he feared the confrontation in telling her that he is not in love with her. He feared being alone. He feared a few nights without his kids, he feared the process, he feared the poor image amongst his wealthy suburban neighborhood.....so he led me on, dragged this out and I am sure he told me thousands of lies. Finally I threw in the white flag. I see him for what he is. A weak coward. I am so angry with myself for being so ignorant to all the statistics, "trusting my gut", and being so vulnerable. He is scum and I am so glad he is not my husband. She is a fool who believed him when he denied an affair. She thinks he is quite a remarkable dad. Honestly? I hope he feels the guilt, shame, and sadness for the rest of his life. I hope he cries every time they make love because of the guilt. My marriage was damaged before my affair. My relationship with my ex is finally healthy with no more lies. I wish he and I never met. I wish I listened to my friends. I may need therapy for decades because I was so stupid. How did I let this happen to me?
Fallen out of love with my husband
My husband and I have been married for less than a year and I’ve fallen out of love with him. Prior to us ever moving in together or getting really serious I was upfront with him and told him exactly what I expected of him if he wanted to be with me and what I would not ever tolerate in a relationship. I told him that if he wasn’t comfortable with what I needed or had doubts about being able to be that person, then we shouldn’t make a life together. He promised me he could be the man that I needed, but he continually lied to me. Each time I found out he was lying, I was heartbroken and suggested we go our separate ways, but he’d break down to tears begging me to stay, promising me he would change. From the very beginning I have been completely honest with him and told him I could not be with a man that has no integrity... still I married him because he promised me that our issues were behind us. A few months ago I realized he’s been lying to me all along. I resent him for marrying me when he had no intention of changing, and when he clearly longed to be sexual with other women, I resent him for ruining my trust, my self-confidence and our marriage. I’m depressed and I don’t know what to do. I still care for him deeply and pray that somehow we can work past this and that I will fall in love with him again, but I fear that he will never change and our relationship has been so badly damaged that I don’t know if I’m capable of ever trusting him again. I don’t want to spend my life being unhappy under the constant worry that my husband is an unfaithful liar. I’m afraid of losing him, but I’m also afraid of losing myself and any chance at happiness if I stay.
Sex with another woman
Sometimes I fantasize about having sex with another women in a threesome with my husband.
My husband is disgusting in so many ways
I don’t know how much of a secret this is but I will share it. I am secretly disgusted at my husbands sexual way. He is not good in bed. He chases too many other women then lies to me about it all so that when he comes to bed he gives me these quick little nothing like kisses on my neck.. it is sickening. It makes me want to retch. He walks way ahead of me out in public like he is doing me a big favor to even be seen with me. He is so full of his own self and how important he thinks he is. It over shadows everything else. I at one time in the relationship missed him when he was gone... now I cant wait for him to be out of the house. I have never cheated on him... nor do I wish to... he is just boring in bed and in and around on a daily basis. I don’t tell him because it would mortify him to know what I... a mere nothing of a mudball woman... thinks of his greatness. I go along with it so he stays in his self delusion. The women flirt with him all the time. He has been with several women sexually in front of me. So that now when he touches me it just plain disgusts me. You know.... I don’t mind respecting a man.. but he has to earn it... you cant be sleeping around and chasing other women while married and then think your wife is going to love all over you and respect you. It does not work that way. And if your wife is acting that way then she is just pretending until she has her money set aside and herself taken care of so she can eventually leave you.
Sex versus books
I’d rather give up sex than books.
My boyfriend hides porn from me... I don’t care
I’m pretty sure my boyfriend watches porn when I leave the house. He hides it from me. I think he hides it from me because he’s embarrassed or because he thinks I’ll get mad (but I won’t). I feel like I can’t ask him about it because he flies off the handle really easily at the least suspicion that he’s being accused or judged. I wish we were able to be more comfortable talking to one another.
I am gay and won’t tell my wife
I’m married and I’m as gay as gay can be. BUT, I’ll never tell my wife and I’ll be good to her and keep up the lie as long as we’re together, which I hope is a very long, long time.
More Secrets Revealed – see what secrets people keep.
Benefits of Sharing Secrets – read why sharing secrets can be useful.