Relationship Issues Secrets

I’m keeping a secret from my loved one.

I have a hard crush on my boss

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

My hubby of over 20 years confronted me last weekend, asking if I was cheating on him with my boss. He said he felt something in his gut that kept him up all night. He checked our cell phone bill and found out that I had been texting back and forth with my new boss for hours and hours and hours over the last couple of months, like every day, especially at night when I can’t sleep (sometimes because I’m fantasizing about my boss). I told him my boss is gay and that we’re just good friends and talk about all the teeny boppers and drama at our work, but that’s not entirely true. Me and bossy talk about lots of stuff and I love texting with him, and almost getting caught. And I think I get treated special at work for it, too.

But, I don’t want to lose my hubby, either. He’s always been an absolutely wonderful father to all our kids, he loves me to death and proves it by spoiling me rotten (he just bought me my dream car). On top of that he’s a smart, hard-working, funny, and very good-looking man, especially now that he’s exercising all the time.

My secret is, I want to tell my hubby that I think there is something wrong with me, because I do have a hard crush on my boss, who is nowhere near as hot as my hubby, and who could never make the kind of money my man makes or be the father to our children that I want them to have. I think I might have some kind of a disorder that makes me want to be living dangerously and that I need to know other guys still find me attractive.

I’ve cheated on my hubby before and worse, I’ve fantasized about it with lots and lots of guys throughout our whole marriage. I hope hubby doesn’t ever find out how I really feel about my boss and other guys, and I hope I can keep hiding my crushes until they just die off, like they usually do. I know hubby deserves better than me, but I hope he never figures that out. If he does, he might leave me for some hot young girl that will treat him as special as he treats me, and then I wouldn’t know what to do.

My girlfriend is forcing me to stay with her

Friday, 06 August 2010

I have been with my girlfriend for more than 2 years, and she was very good to me. She was also only the second person I had slept with, the first being a one-night stand.

Around this last spring I started to get very depressed and felt that she was holding me back in a number of ways. I didn’t take time for any of my favorite hobbies, I didn’t talk to her, etc. She also thinks I’ve slept with many more women because early in our relationship she had revealed to me that she had been through a dark time and slept with a number of random guys. I told her I had more experience than I actually do because I thought it would make her feel like less of a slut, and I care about her.

This summer I set up a fake email account and started chatting with a few likewise-lonely/desperate women through it. I even exchanged a couple photos of my body. When I broke up with my girlfriend because I wanted to go explore myself and figure out where my life was headed, she started snooping on my email, computer, etc. and found these exchanges.

She went ballistic. Over the next two weeks we had the same couple conversations about 300 times over with the answers never changing. Eventually she gave me the ultimatum to either get back with her or she would show all this to my boss, my parents, our friends, everyone. It would completely end my career and life as I know it.

So now I’m back with her and I have no idea what to do. Hello, therapy.

Love my wife cause of my affair

Thursday, 05 August 2010

I had a long term affair, and several one night stands, then stopped about 9 months ago. I recently got the itch again, so hooked up with my LTA partner. It wasn’t that great. My secret is that my wife is now better in bed than my (soon to be ex again) affair partner is. My wife just doesn’t have the DDs, which I absolutely love. But she has the moves now and goes along with pretty much anything I want to do. I do love my wife, and love her even more now because she has changed so much to meet my sexual needs.

Talking with someone from my past

Friday, 30 July 2010

Although my husband knew I was communicating with someone from my past whom I was sexually intimate with...I concealed some of the topics and my flirtatious behavior by deleting the messages or speaking with him via voice chat. I felt guilty but had a hard time stopping until I found out he did the same thing. Although I know what he did, I still can’t bring myself to confessing that I’ve did the same thing...

Feelings for a coworker are getting out of hand

Monday, 26 July 2010

Recently I realized that I’ve been attracted to my coworker for a very long time. I was in denial thinking to myself that I only felt a sort of brotherly affection for him. Mostly, I couldn’t come to terms with it because I’m six years older than him and I’ve always dated older guys. Even men my age seemed too immature for me.

Over time we became close because we’re alike in many ways. We can talk about anything for hours. Our in-depth conversations are fascinating. We’ve opened up to each other about very similar issues we have both faced (things I had never talked about with anyone else) It has gotten to the point, now, that we’re very much emotionally attached.

I am currently in a long term relationship with a wonderful guy. Since I met him I felt he was the one for me. The man I had been looking for. We’ve made plans to move in together. For whatever reason, our relationship seems to have deteriorated over the last six months (before my coworker) And I’m sure it is a distance problem.. even though I see him.. at least once a week..

Some months back we had a new hire at the office and her presence made me realize how jealous it made me to see him (my coworker crush) talk to her. It was driving me insane.

Things have only gotten worse since shortly after this, he confessed his love for me. I had known deep down that he did. No moves. He simply needed to tell me because it was eating away at him and he knew not to expect anything because I am in a relationship.

I promised to continue being his friend and not see him any differently. Of course it’s eating away at me too, but he doesn’t know it and I did not tell him because it would have gave him hope.

Over time I’ve seen his feelings grow stronger for me. I’ve seen the frustration escape him from time to time in the workplace.. making it more and more obvious..

He comes to me to find some sort of relief. Recently he asked me to tell him to back off, that he needed to hear it.. but I couldn’t do it. I can’t stand the thought of losing him. Generally I’d run from this situation but I can’t because we see each other every day.

The worst part is that I no longer want to run. I want him! I keep running a scene of us in each others arms in my mind. I keep wondering what it would be like to just kiss him. It’s driving me insane. I feel that eventually I’m going to set it up somehow..

Even worse still is the fact that it would not be fair to him because I know he really loves me. I can feel it. And what I feel for him is not love, it’s lust, it’s a crush, and I don’t see myself with him.

I’m dreaming up friends-with-benefits type scenarios. I don’t want to hurt him, I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend, I don’t want to lose my self respect.. but I feel this pressure is driving me to throw all caution to the wind! If only one time. This is torture.

Realized my boyfriend is mentally ill

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

I just put all of the puzzle pieces together and realized that my boyfriend has borderline personality disorder. I want him to get help but I worry that he won’t because he is too arrogant to ever admit that he has a problem.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t want to end our relationship but I am being tortured by staying.

I feel sick to my stomach...

Relationship issues and attraction to another guy

Tuesday, 06 July 2010

I wasn’t always attracted to this particular guy at work, but I am. He’s not conventionally omgsohot, but attractive in his own way. First I thought I just wanted to have sex with him, were I single or else in another universe where I had the permission of my boyfriend. I didn’t want to actually cheat.

Things with my boyfriend used to be so good, but only recently have I acknowledged that things are not right and have been slowly but surely falling apart for a long time. Over time he’s become moody, negative and critical. The more I realized it, the angrier I got, the more energy I put into my fantasy with this other guy. There is definite sexual tension between me and this other guy, and my boyfriend figured it out.

This past week, it’s been unclear whether or not we’re actually together or whether we should stay together. He told me I have a cheating heart and were I given the opportunity, I would’ve slept with the other guy. At this point, it’s true. I’d be all over that.

My boyfriend now wants to go back to how things were before he discovered this other guy, but truth be told, the guy at work is a catalyst and not the cause of our relationship’s problems. How things were before? We apparently were already so discontent. But we love each other.

I’m not sure what I want, or what I need. I’m still hurt from everything that my boyfriend’s been saying and doing, and know that I’m not objective because hey, I’m still hormonal and I’ve got this other fantasy going. I know that nothing would be long-term with my "distraction"—he’s a good guy, too, but a long-term relationship with him isn’t necessarily something he’s equipped for even if I thought I wanted one. But damn, I’m still attracted to him. I sat next to him earlier and was astounded by how GOOD he smelled. We’re not over the top about it, but we do flirt.

Going to leave my husband

Tuesday, 06 July 2010

Married over 21 years. Done with being the Good Wife and Good Mother.

Husband has to be told to brush his teeth! Has premature ejaculation and has forever (30 seconds and GONE!) Will not do anything about it. Throws me under the bus while thriving on all the sympathy he can generate. Hides behind ‘religion’, appearances are everything.

Sees, hears, and believes only what he wants to. Will not discuss anything. Is FAT and won’t do anything about it. Lives vicariously through me and my accomplishments. Has used economics to keep me locked into this marriage and his ass out of jail.

Raped me—sodomized me while I was out on Ambien. Screwed up two kids by emotionally abandoning them. Favorite pastime is generating excuses and being lazy.

I hate him and I am going to leave him as soon as I can use everything up I can get.

He deserves no less.

My husband does not like my body

Monday, 05 July 2010

My secret is about my husband. He stares at other women and it’s a big problem for me. So I see what women he looks at and try to be like them then he tells me to not change myself and says that other people are "saying something to me". He thinks the reason I change is because other people say things to me. But it’s really him changing me. I cry myself to sleep wondering what is wrong with me and why has my husband lost interest in my body. So I became a bulimic...

Hate being in love

Monday, 21 June 2010

My current boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and we have children together and I love him very much, but whenever we go anywhere I catch him checking out other woman which he will deny then a month later will tell me he was checking them out, so now I go through all of things such as email and face book and myspace. One day I was checking his email and found that he had signed up for a dating website and even put his pic on there when I asked him about it he said he never even did it and he knew I went through his email and honestly I don’t care he has put me through so much making me feel like I’m crazy. He would accuse me everyday of cheating on him when I never even went anywhere without him. We split up for a month and I went out with an ex and realized I didn’t want that. I have been trying for the past 6 years to make this work and waiting on him to change and to stop putting me down all the time and now that he has started to change I feel terrible for what I did and now I think and feel like he’s hiding something from me just by the way he acts. I am just unsure if it’s because I’m guilty or because I can’t let go of the past. I just don’t get why it had to turn out like this I wouldn’t of ever cheated on him (it wasn’t cheating we broke up). My last secret that I have been holding for a very long time... he is addicted to porn but denies any addiction. He would turn me down daily which really shot down my confidence only to wake up in the middle of the night catching him renting $30 movies, we would start to argue and he’d say well you were asleep, Whatever!! I call BS bow at night I don’t sleep I feel like I have to make sure he isn’t waiting till I fall asleep to go and watch porn. I HATE BEING IN LOVE!!!!

Other Options:

More Secrets Revealed – see what secrets people keep.

Benefits of Sharing Secrets – read why sharing secrets can be useful.

Share a secret, confess, tell a secret, secret