Made a Mistake Secrets

I’ve done something I shouldn’t have.

My past cheating is eating me up

Saturday, 15 July 2017

I cheated on my then girlfriend now wife with an old fling in a weak (and alcohol-infused) moment while she was out of town a couple of years ago. I took my fling home and had sex with me in my girlfriend’s bed. The next day I was terrified that I was gonna get caught so I cleaned the whole apartment 3 times, changed the sheets (and blamed it on a coffee spill). The reason was because we had a "bad" period in our lives and a couple of months later had "the talk" but agreed to give it one more try.

I’ve also the last couple of months began to buy webcam shows from webcam-sites, and I just feel disgusted with myself right now. I logged in again today and a girl even recognized me (or well my username since I’ve bought shows from her before).

We are now married, bought a house and are waiting for our first kid and I can’t shake the feeling that this is all based on a lie. I love my wife to death and I hope she never finds out but this is eating me up from within. The strangest thing is that I’ve gone like 3 years without giving it much thought but since there’s so much going on right now I think my anxiety is bringing this up and making me feel like I don’t deserve the amount of happiness I actually have in my life. I have control issues and this feels like something I can’t control right now, even though the girl I cheated with did the same thing to her ex (not with me though), and she never told him.

I’ll end my account on the webcam site, and probably delete the fling from social media as well since I can’t really have her popping up and reminding me about it all the time. She’s getting married now as well, and now seems like a good time to do it, since we’ve talked on and off since my affair.

Cheated on him before moving in together

Saturday, 1 July 2017

I have been with my boyfriend now for 3 years. We are looking at moving in together in the next couple of months. I am super stoked about it but a few months ago I cheated on him. It was a one-night stand. The guilt is eating me from the inside out. How do I deal with this? How do I move in with them and marry him in the future when I feel so guilty for what I’ve done. I know for a fact I can’t tell him. That would be the end of our relationship. It was a stupid drunken mistake that will NEVER happen again. I have been reading all these articles on how to forgive yourself but I just don’t see how that is possible. I hate myself for doing it and hurting him without even him knowing. Cheating in my eyes is the most disgusting thing and now I have to live with what I have done. I don’t know how to get past this.

Lied about number of times I had sex with my ex

Saturday, 1 July 2017

I lied to my girlfriend about a girl that I slept with when we were non-exclusive. We had a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy during this non-exclusive first part of our relationship, so I didn’t tell her at the time. I probably slept with the girl (who was an ex) like 4 times sporadically over the course of 4 months (like twice in the summer, twice in the winter—she was away in between so nothing happened in the fall). When my girlfriend and I officially got together and became monogamous, she asked me about my past dalliances and I freaked out because I thought I’d never have to explain it to her. I ended up telling her that we hooked up a couple of times and had sex once. It’s been eating away at me for a while, and I don’t know whether to go back and amend what I said in the moment of panic or just leave it be. I love her more than I’ve ever loved anybody, and I’ve never cheated on her nor will I ever. This experience has also taught me never to lie to her again, and I’m proud to say that I haven’t at all since that one time.

Sexting an ex is coming back to haunt me

Monday, 15 May 2017

I was having an inappropriate text conversation with an ex who my boyfriend explicitly asked me not to communicate with. It was meaningless, based in the past, but filled with sexual innuendo. Later that night, my ex’s girlfriend read the text messages between the two of us and threatened to tell my partner "what I’m up to". I never thought anyone would see those exchanges and I feel terrible about the whole thing. Terrible that she had to see that, terrible that he had to explain and terrible that I face losing the person I love most in this world. I’m literally sick to my stomach about the whole thing and I wish I had made better choices that day.

Talking dirty

Sunday, 12 March 2017

I have said many inappropriate things to a married man and I am a married woman myself. I am afraid of two marriages being ruined, but I think what I’m worried most about is what people would think of me if we were exposed. How sad is that? But very much also the pain. I can’t bear the thought of anyone being in pain because of my choices. But I have made the choice... it is over and it will hopefully go with me to my grave.

My one regret

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Before my husband and I had kids I rekindled with an ex boyfriend. He was like my crush, my secret, and an ex that I regret breaking up with. We saw each other kissed and did some things but did not have sex. It felt so good at the time to be able to talk, rekindle, and have that tingling feeling in my life. I didn’t even think I was cheating. Then one day out of the blue it just all ended. For the best, and the crazy thing was I wasn’t even sad or upset that it ended! Maybe it was all lust, a high, or just a plain crazy thing kinda thing. After that happened I did not come clean to my spouse, but I know for a fact that will not occur ever again. I feel so stupid, a bit used, and such a bad partner. It actually made me realized that I do have the best spouse and what I did was like a thing to get out of my system. Now that I’ve done so, I know not to ever do that again because it’s never going to end well, nor is it good for a relationship. This is the only thing that I regret in my life.

Spiritual guide deceived me

Monday, 16 January 2017

A so-called spiritual woman deceived me for over 20 years. It is only by the grace of God that I finally got out of her control. She does not see her evil ways but I have been able to let the secret out to my counselor. I have no reason to harm myself more by shouting it from the rooftop but I would really like to attempt to destroy her. Exposing her to the town for what she really is would be revenge and I will leave it to God to deal with her. Dealing with God’s judgment is going to be a lot worse than mine could ever be.

Kissed another guy

Monday, 16 January 2017

Over the summer, I was single and ended up getting the attention from multiple guys and that was something that was new to me and I enjoyed it. One guy in particular was one that I had always been interested in and I couldn’t believe he was talking to me and another was someone who I went to school with. They guy I went to school with and I started dating and honestly its the best relationship I have ever been in. But, over a break I hung out with the other guy and he ended up kissing me and I got lost in the moment and kissed him back. My boyfriend still doesn’t know and I don’t think he will ever find out, but I’m paranoid the truth will somehow get back to him and I will lose him. The guilt is unbearable and I have to live with it all because of a kiss that I regret happening. I never meant to cheat on him and I know that it will never happen again so I hope this secret can stay buried.

I tried guys and didn’t like it

Monday, 16 January 2017

I am with my loving girlfriend for 4 years since we were 18. I had never even kissed a girl until the day I kissed her. The last two years Ι had had some homosexual thoughts about giving oral to another man. I was not sexually attracted to men, I was just curious about this action. So after watching a lot of gay porn and masturbating with others online, I went to a place where men gather for sex and gave a stranger oral. Well, during the action I could not think anything else than this is boring and disgusting. When it ended I ran outside the place and panicked realising that I just want to be with her as we are. My curiosity was answered and I did not like it, but I felt guilty for what I had done to my girlfriend. Since the last week that this incident happened, I’ve had panic attacks; I cannot sleep. During the first panic attack I couldn’t think and I told her I was assaulted, so that she could know what happened during the act. I cannot tell her the truth. I have started visiting a psychiatrist to help me with the panic attacks. I just want her and I don’t want us to change due to my mistakes. I wish I could turn back time and have the knowledge of how much I would dislike this action that was pinned in my mind and realise my heart is settled for life. I cannot deal with the guilt but I can never tell her. She will be destroyed. I need her in my life. Will I be able to keep something like that to myself? Will I be able to forget all about this?

Stopped cheating at one thrust

Monday, 16 January 2017

I told my partner I was unfaithful, but in passing when asked if it was sex, I said, “no.” It was only one thrust and then I stopped.

Lied about having cancer

Sunday, 18 December 2016

Five years ago I lied to my friends. I told them I had cancer, and played it out very well. I’ve always felt guilty about it, and I don’t know whether to tell them the truth. I did not tell that lie to my current boyfriend, but don’t even know whether I should tell him I lied to my friends...so lost.

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