Made a Mistake Secrets
I’ve done something I shouldn’t have.
Took it too far one night
So I went out the other weekend with some friends and we all ended up getting really drunk. Nothing we hadn’t done before. We went to this club and we’re all hanging out drinking and talking to this group of girls. We were all talking and just having fun. We ended up all buying shots and beers and then I ended up dancing with one of the girls. The dancing led to kissing. We made out and she gave me a lap dance. She wanted to do more but I couldn’t and wouldn’t let myself do anything else and I ended the night with her right then. I stopped drinking, rejoined my friends, and went home. I know we only made out and it’s not like we had sex but it still hurts me what I did to her. I’ve had lap dances by strippers before but this was different. I think because of the kissing. Not sure. Anyways, I love my girlfriend. We fight and argue like any other couple but at the end of the day, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Some days are hard because I feel I betrayed her and this is the woman I want to spend my life with. I know I’m a good man who made a mistake and this is not something I would have ever thought I would have done. It was once and I won’t ever do it again but I still feel really guilty. I hope someday I can forgive myself because right now we’re doing really well and I want us to continue to be that way.
My sexual history caught up with me
I lied about my sexual past because I was tired of being publicly humiliated and shamed for it. I didn’t want you too to see me as a "slut", I didn’t want you to try to seek revenge the way my ex’s did by stalking me and posting my nude photos on the internet. I didn’t want to give you any reasons to de-value me because I knew you valued saintly behavior. Well, now you know I’m no saint and you’ve treated me poorly ever since the unknown person told you.
Probably cheated on my girlfriend
I don’t know if I’d call it cheating... it feels like it in the form of guilt after coming-to. After a night of heavy drinking with friends we decided to roll out back to campus (I’m a college student.) and I asked to sit in the passenger seat since this girl that was with us has had her eyes on me since Day 1 of college. I didn’t argue with my friend who insisted he get shotgun, I should’ve. I jumped in the back, the girl joined, and I started to lay lazily sprawled across her and myself (my hand was upside down on her leg). She proceeded to move her panties over and pressed my hand against her groin area where I slid my middle finger in and pulled out almost immediately. I feel terrible, I immediately regretted doing it, but it was done. It was an isolated mistake and I know that it will never happen again. I feel more devoted to my long distance girlfriend of 3 years (1 year close, when we met) than ever. I don’t feel it’s right to confess and transfer my guilt and humiliation into her pain, I will move on, I will be the best man I can be for her, and I will never put myself in that situation again. I have cut ties with this female because I’m afraid that if drunk again something else may take hold. I’ve also decided to not drink for drunkenness, and only consume 2 to 3 beers and call it quits.
Saying I have self-control feels hypocritical after what just happened, but it was the first and the LAST time I will ever oblige, whether drunken or sober, to any woman but my own.
I cheated on my girlfriend and I feel terrible. I like my girlfriend so much and we know we’re going to get married. One stupid night of drunkenness at a club and I end up sleeping with someone, it meant nothing to me but what I have done is hurting me so much. I don’t want us to break up and I know I’ll never do it again. I feel so sick and ashamed of myself. I can’t believe it.
Lying about my job
For the past 2 years I have been lying to my boyfriend. The result was sleepless nights and terrible anxiety every time I decided to talk to him. It had been 2 years since we came across each other online and it felt so good to meet him and everything felt so exhilarating that I did not see the harm of telling him that I had a job. The situation was in turn my biggest regret because for the next couple of months I would be caught in multiple lies (including the one I had just shared, which just required me to change it to a less compromising one on the spot, which he unfortunately believed) and had resulted in him feeling suspicious about me. By now I have no one else to blame but myself as I face the recent nights in bed with my stomach in pain every time I decide to look at the computer screen, my self conscious tells me I should tell the truth but I fear that window of opportunity has now closed. I look to this site for a quick way to relieve my stress, and I ponder about telling him still even if it will completely devastate our relationship.
Gambled Out of College
I dropped out in last semester (8th out of 8) due to gambling shit. My school is in different country no one knows but me back home. The grad ceremony is coming up. I surely cannot attend. I don’t know what to tell my Dad. Life is shit but left to me I’m too bold I will be successful. I don’t know how to fix/tell my Dad.
Sent her sexual diary entries
I sent sexual diary entries from seven years ago to my ex, who is now a friend. The entries were written about her. I am engaged to someone else. I feel shitty.
Feel guilty about my multiple, one-night stands
I was at a company party in New York City and I met a new male co-worker. He was drinking quite a bit that night but I hardly drink. Later, we went dancing together and finally back to my apartment. I didn’t want to have sex with him but we did. I even stopped myself in the middle of the encounter but then continued. I hardly knew this person and knew that although I loved the attention he gave me, he wasn’t someone I wanted to be with.
The next morning, I pushed down my thoughts and feelings of shame. I told myself it was fun and that I enjoyed it. I even bragged about the night with friends.
But the next day, I felt guilty; especially when I told my mother about a guy I met. I told her everything except that he went back with me to my place. She asked, "What else happened?" and I said nothing. I wasn’t forthcoming and felt dishonest. I’m not altogether sure if that was a lie or not. I don’t live in New York City and so I won’t see the co-worker again. We work in different offices so it was a one-night stand.
Then I had to admit to myself that it was the fifth one-night stand I’ve had and four of them were in one year. I feel promiscuous and slutty. It hurts knowing that the co-worker wasn’t interested in getting to know me, even though I’m not either. It hurts that I let my ego get bruised. It hurts that I debased myself. It hurts that I feel used and that I also used. I used him to feed my physical desire. I prefer to be in a relationship with someone and not do that with strangers. I’m struggling to forgive myself. It’s been a month and I’m still hurting. I take longer lunches, lie in bed all day and want to forget all other responsibilities outside of work. I feel depressed.
I just pray that I can forgive myself soon. I recognize and understand why I did the things that I did. I let loneliness get the better of me. I was fighting the temptation all week before the encounter with my co-worker. All week I was fantasizing about sex and searching for potential men to fool around with. Then the right opportunity came along. Next time, I will not make myself available to fall into temptation that will make me feel bad the next morning.
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