Lie a Lot Secrets

I find myself lying a lot.

Cannot stop lying

Monday, 20 May 2013

Lied to a guy, I didn’t have to but I did it anyway. I feel terrible. It was a random guy and it makes no difference, I lied. I have a problem with lying and I am trying to stop but, I lied for no reason to a total stranger.

My lies got me into trouble

Monday, 22 April 2013

There is a woman I constantly tried to impress. I lied all the time and embellished the truth in any way I could to make myself look better in her eyes. In the end I only made myself look like a horrible liar and fool. Because of my habitual lying I lost her friendship. I hope time will heal the damage I have done to the relationship, but I know it is too late. Lying made the love of my life walk out of my life forever.

Told too many lies

Monday, 11 March 2013

I am generally a good person. I don’t get into trouble, I get good grades, a lot of people like me, and seemingly I’m picture perfect. But I have a nasty sense for procrastination and not only that, I tend to overload my time with activities so much, that investing enough time in one is sometimes not plausible and I have to lie to save face. So when I was in college, I use to procrastinate and my papers and work would pile up until the due dates loom closer and closer. Until finally I would make up lies to my professors about having email issues or computer issues to buy me time on projects. My fabricated stories sometimes centered around making up sick family members, fake being sick myself while going to the school nurses with my pre- researched symptoms in order to get doctor notes for my fake illnesses, all in order to get extension on assignments. I hated every bit of it. But I didn’t want to fail so I continued. Then I met my boyfriend in college. He was my best friend, he was fun, handsome, tall and sweet and God fearing and he had better grades than me. He, on paper, was every parents dream. But paper is not the same as reality. In reality he has trust issues with women. Because of it he felt forced to put safe guards up in order to protect himself. One being to ban me from seeing my guy friends. Now I have a crew of girls and guys I still hang out with since high school. But I hang mostly with my guy friends because they are funny and a lot less drama, plus my guy friends don’t make me feel uncomfortable or look at me like a piece of meat. And the ones that did, I cut them off as friends. But the ones that are around me treat me like a little sister and only want the best for me. I am friends with their girlfriends, we all go out together and everything is all cool. But my boyfriend, doesn’t want to meet them, doesn’t trust me or them and won’t even give them a chance. I been with him for four years and he hasn’t met them once. But I fell deeply head over heels for him so I started moving away slowly from the friends I knew. I stopped calling them and hanging out with them for him. But that changed when I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. Even though I didn’t cheat on him back, I ran back to the friends I abandoned and they accepted me with open arms and that was a year and a half ago. Ever since then I been lying to my boyfriend in order to hang out with them. I lied about group outings, I lied about just hanging with one or two guys,. and I lied through omission a lot as well. It had always eaten me inside but I didnt know what to do. I love my boyfriend more than anything but I can’t lose my friends who been there for me through thick and thin. I would tell him I’m hanging out with strictly girls when that is not the case, I would tell him I’m going to my girlfriend’s house when that’s untrue too. I just wish he would meet them and give them a chance to see they are harmless. It so unfair my friends bring their girlfriend around and I can’t, and not only that I have to lie and omit just to hang out with them. So just yesterday, I was hanging out with two of my guy friends, they are twins, and one of their girlfriends Ashley. I told my boyfriend I was only hanging out with Ashley, and didn’t mention the twins. Then later I told him about the twins during an argument we had later on and now he broke up with me. Saying he can’t stand that I lied about who I was with esp. after we just had a talk a few days prior about how uncomfortable he feels with me around my guy friends. And now a day later I’m hanging out with them. He said I was disrespecting him and his wishes and I lied to him completely. Now he wants nothing to do with me. I don’t know what to do. I love him a lot. I’m scared.

Lie to my boyfriend about everything

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

I lied to my boyfriend about so many tings, big and small things and I don’t know why. I hate myself for it.

Lied about a lot of different things

Monday, 14 January 2013

I lied about my dad having cancer. I lied about getting a cage dancing job when I didn’t. I lied about the drugs I’ve done and the people I’ve hooked up with. I lied about my scholarship rules and I lied about what schools I got into and how good i was at field hockey.

Lying about a lot of things

Monday, 27 August 2012

I’ve been lying to my boyfriend about where I was born. I told him I was born in the U.K. when in actuality, I was born in Pennsylvania. Also, because he’s big on doing drugs, I told him I used to do drugs but went to rehab because I was so bad. I feel terrible about these lies, and whenever people ask me about my life story or something involving my past, I have to lie to keep it up. I wouldn’t mind lying to other people but I can’t stand the thought of lying to him. If it came down to lying to his friends but him knowing the truth, I would be completely happy with that. I’m not sure if he would be mad at me, or if he would even care at all. He’s the type of guy who doesn’t really care much about anything.

My boyfriend discovered my lies

Tuesday, 17 July 2012

I Lie a lot. A LOT. Whenever I feel lonely or insecure, I lie about something. I had a boyfriend. He loved me so dearly for many years. I kept lying to him. Whenever I was insecure or possessive, I used to lie, often about other girls. I used to tell him stories about my friends which actually never happened. I made him think wrong about all my friends to make myself feel better. When he really wanted to know if everything happened, I created fake email ids and chatted with him as though I am somebody else. I made him believe all my lies for several years. Not just this, I used to lie to many people about the smallest of things. I always used to just get away with it and so I didnt realize its effect until recently. My boyfriend actually really spoke to one of my friends face to face and found out that nothing I told him about her was true. He traced back all the email ids I had created and found out that it was me who did it. Now he of course broke up with me and does not want anything to do with me. I feel guilt. All over me. I need help.

Trouble telling the truth

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

I lie all the time about everything from finances to insignificant nonsense. I need help.

Hid so many things from you

Saturday, 24 March 2012

Yes, I’ve told you a lot... and most of it you already guessed that it happened...
Yes, there is more
And i’m afraid to tell you
I don’t want you to hurt anymore
This is all the past
Just like you said you attempting suicide was the past
things are different now and I’ve learned from my mistakes
I am sorry for causing you so many problems
Sometimes i don’t know why you even want to put up with me..
I want to tell you everything
and then you hold me in your arms and tell me its going to be alright..
but i know you’ll just get upset and yell at me
call me names
i know i deserve it
and i know it makes you feel better when you do
i guess i
just wish we could be happy
and i know we can...
before that happens
the truth needs to come out
i’m afraid the truth wont set us free
goddamn it i just don’t know what to do

i love you so much

Lying about serious issues for a long time

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

I told my friend that my boyfriend killed someone and made up an elaborate story about it. I also told her that I was pregnant and aborted twins. Also, a lie. I made up that I was pregnant and had an abortion when I was young to get sympathy and attention from everyone. I’ve made up several pregnancy and abortion scenarios with my current boyfriend when he tried to leave me. And then I finally got pregnant for real. An of course he expected me to just have an abortion. And I did because of the lies. And now I am paying dearly for my pathological lying. I have the memory of my one baby, their death at the hands of my psyche. And my friend is going around saying my boyfriend is a murderer.... And saying that heralded her because she too is a pathological liar. And my boyfriend knows what I am. And he loves me anyways. And I love him, and I want to stop lying. I want to be honest and no longer feel guilt. But I want to make our relationship work. Truth is, we both lie and manipulate. But we love each other, so much. We’ve known each other for years, and have invested so much in the relationship. I want everyone to just butt out of our business and leave us alone. We can work out our problems. I need to stop lying. And I will. I want to hold myself accountable. Every time I lie from now on, since my truths are out in the open here, I’m going to immediately confess the lie. At least, to him. Others are not as deserving.

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