Secrets about infidelity and cheating.
History of cheating
My fiancé and I have been dating for four years now. In the first year of our relationship I had sex with our flat mate once I don't know what led me to do it Last year my sister’s hubby tells me he wants to see me and that it’s very important. I went to see him but he lured me into sex which I regret doing. I have honestly changed from these habits, but I still feel guilty inside of me.... I don't know if I should explain this to my fiancé or my sister but I sincerely love my fiancé now I can't afford to lose him...
Drinking and cheating
I cheated on my boyfriend. Alcohol is no excuse and I don't blame it entirely on the alcohol but seeing as I crashed in the same night I KNOW I wasn't in the right state of mind. I honestly can say if I was in the right state of mind I WOULD NEVER ever even think about hurting him in that manner. I realized I cheated when I found a hotel receipt and texts that asked if I remembered what had happened the night before. I feel terrible. This won't happen again. I want to marry my boyfriend so I couldn't possibly tell him, but this guilt is so overwhelming .
Tried out the other side
I did some same-sex experimenting a few times while dealing with a rocky relationship and feel horrible about it. I told her a small fraction of what actually happened but I feel the rest would crush her, our relationship, and my overall reputation and image. It’s not something I ever will do again and feel guilty beyond what I ever thought. It’s eating at me but she doesn’t deserve to be hurt over what I did. I learned from it and wish I could just move past it and make it up to her by being the best I possibly can to her.
Stereotypical affair and accompanying guilt
I’m in my forties and have been with my wife for 16 years. We’ve had lots of ups and downs in that time but have stuck it out and stayed together. Several years ago I started paying for sex (massages with more); although I was initially wracked with severe guilt from these excursions, I got over it and its now a regular habit (few times per month). I am not proud of this and wish I could quit. This past fall my wife and I moved across the country but she moved out three months before me. While staying alone in our old city, I started an emotional online affair with a recently divorced local woman. After two months of that, with my cross-country move just two weeks away, I initiated meeting this woman in person. After meeting discretely in public after work for two nights in a row, we quickly found ourselves in her bedroom every day with me making excuses to friends and family that I was busy "run errands" before moving away. In addition to being emotionally attached to her including texting her all day, I then became physically attached. Now I am in the new city with my family and I’m severely shocked at my lapse in judgment and how I could do this to my family. My wife doesn’t know about this but she can sense my deep depression and anxiety, which I try pass off as being culture shock from moving across country and the stress of a new job. But I am now a wreck. I started reading these affair self-help websites and am shocked at just how textbook my affair is and how typical my feelings about it are. I now doubt all the strong feelings I have for the other woman and realize they are part of the alluring fantasy but just that—a fantasy not reality. It was a real eye opener and I wish I had read support websites before going down the affair path. That convinced me to cancel my plans to continue the online part of the affair and my plans for clandestine hookups with her when traveling back to old city this spring. Over text I explained my severe guilt and remorse to her for the first few days and she understood. Two days ago I told her we had to end it all and she was upset but understanding. Now, I have deleted everything about her from my computer (photos, texts, music) and feel overall good about it, but I miss her badly and am struggling to move on. I know each day without contacting her is a small victory in a larger battle and I look forward to getting on to healing myself and my relationship with my wife.
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