Infidelity Secrets

Long-distance cheating

I am in a long-distance relationship with my gf of five years. Recently I cheated on her with a co-worker, mainly due to loneliness. Or at least I think that’s why I did it. It has now happened more than once. I can’t sleep from the guilt. I know if I confess I will lose her, and it will crush her. The guilt is truly killing me. I have done so much for her over the years and want to feel like this does not outweigh all the good and how much of a good boyfriend I have been.

I love you so much and I am so so so sorry. I can’t lose you. I just can’t.

Can’t stop cheating

My secret is that I have had trysts while in a relationship. Our relationship started four years ago and we didn’t have a lot of sex. I was 22 at the time and he was 26. After about half a year passed I attempted to have sex with a friend when we were very drunk, incidentally at his wedding night (his wife knew and thought it was hot?!) and we failed--thankfully. Then I kissed a friend and a roommate. Each encounter included an explicit statement that I would rather be doing this with my boyfriend; that I was only doing this out of desperation to feel sexual again. After a little over a year of dating I finally did sleep with someone; I saw them 2 or 3 times and felt overwhelmed with guilt for 2 years. I became convinced that I deserved to be unhappy and sexless because I was a liar. Two years later I had a 2 week long affair with someone I found emotionally and physically unattractive but very easy. It’s been a year since and I feel like the most horrible person. My boyfriend and I still have sex less than once a month. I am terrified that deep down he knows and all I want is for our lives to move forward. Sometimes I think about leaving him just because I cannot take the guilt.

Overwhelmed by guilt due to cheating

I cheated on my fiancée. I hate myself and feel overwhelming guilt all the time. I cannot see a way out of it apart from telling him but this would destroy him, our relationship and our family. I know I won’t ever do it again but I cannot stop these feelings of loathing from going away and I don’t know how to cope. I am truly sorry for what I did. Please know I love you.

Won’t tell unless asked

I cheated on the love of my life, while sick and lonely on an academic trip, and I deeply regret it. I chose not to tell my partner, and I broke up with him—thinking that our relationship was not salvageable (we had been having some serious difficulties before I left on the trip). We recently reconciled, but I still feel terrible about this dark secret. I still haven’t told him, and don’t think I will be able to—unless he asks me directly. I loathe myself for all of my flaws, and I think I will always feel insecure in a relationship. I struggle with deep depression, borderline traits, and other health issues, that have been treatment-resistant.

Want to ruin her happiness

I’ve been sleeping with my ex during and before his girlfriend’s pregnancy, who is a friendly acquaintance of mine. They had the baby today. I feel so empty right now. I want to tell her so bad but I know it’s only because of a selfish void I need filled.

Sex on the dancefloor

I had sex with a stranger on a crowded dancefloor right under my partner’s nose. The thrill of it and the fear of getting caught was a complete turn-on.

Ridden with guilt

I cheated on the man I love the most and now I feel so guilty it’s making me sick.

Cheating brought us closer

I cheated on my boyfriend now fiancée. We were having a hard time with IVF and our communication broke down. We stopped having fun. I was convinced we were going to break up. I slept with someone else and it made me realize what I have. It opened up communication and made us enjoy each other again. Now we have a daughter through IVF. But the guilt of my cheating is eating away at me.

Tried getting oral from a guy

A year and a half ago I went looking for sexual gratification outside of my current relationship. I looked online to find a member of the same sex to perform oral sex on me. I found someone, visited their house and instantly disliked what was going on then left shortly after arriving. I feel shame and guilt about what I did. I’m keeping this from my partner, but it’s killing me. I don’t have the heart to tell her. it would devastate her.

Did my ex

I slept with an ex-girlfriend while my wife was overseas. I am feeling completely guilty about it and have insomnia as I can’t let go and am feeling rather fearful and selfish about my actions.