Infidelity Secrets

Cheating in a very complicated way

I cheated on my spouse. There were 3 brief, sterile encounters 1bj and hj by themself would not be discovered, however, I worry about the last encounter. Since the condom was not on during small fluid rubbing. The condom was discovered "off" by me when the first and second positions were tried and failed. I’m not sure if the condom "fell off" or if he took it off. I refused to let any further penetration happen, once discovered. Not that there was much of that. Our bodies couldnt even fit together enough. And he was horrible for what he could do.

I just did it, without emotion. Like washing dishes. My marriage is 100% perfect and satisfying in every aspect and function. I was blinded by the romantic past we had once shared. He manipulated that former relationship and emotions against me, to get what he wanted. I believed what i wanted to believe. I thought I could be polyamorous. After last encounter I called it off 1/2hour later. I felt horrible to have actually gone further then the 1 bj and hj done. We agreed. It hurt. the actual actions performed were uneventful. I wasnt in love with him, I was in love with the thought of him. It definitely gave closure but now I am left with guilt and regret. He is also married. He has lots to lose. The secret will be safe. I took the plan b pill. I have gone to the local clinic to have follow up pregnancy tests, even though there had been no ejaculation, just in case, pre-ejaculation was even present. What’s the flaw that could get this discovered. I may have herpes, although, never an outbreak, false positives are rare when compared to false negatives. Hence, the reason I demanded the condom. He says he never cheated in 16 yrs with his wife. That I was the only one he would ever consider being with, because he loved me just as much as he did when we were sweethearts. Oddly, that relationship broke up, over me "cheating" I have spent the rest of my life since that time, living a very monogamous life with no desires or behaviors to be otherwise.

When I asked him how this is not cheating for him, he states because it’s just you.

Now I see. He wasnt expressing undying love, he wanted to get laid. Once a cheater always a cheater. I never thought that was true of me, until I acted out of character during a 6 mos time span with him. I was also starting a new medication to control my mood swings. I dont know if this was a factor. Either way, I cheated. my spouse was aware of this encounter, but not the actual follow through of the act. My spouse stood beside me, trusted me, loved me, fought for me, worried about me. And I was in a "high". A love gone wrong many years ago...a chance to have back a portion of him, no matter how little...gave me the forgiveness I needed. How I translated that into it being okay to attempt to bring a 3 person into our lives, is beyond my understanding of myself. I question the new medicine. I question myself and beliefs. I can find no answers or reasoning... I am upset with myself. I believe I may not have been his first affair. He travels a lot for business. Most ppl on his social networks are women. he tells of a loveless and non existent intimacy with his wife.

Either way, I still broke my commitment and rules to my spouse. No lying. No cheating. Writing this down helps with the inability to confess. I ask forgiveness from God. I am a sinner. I am unworthy of love and happiness. I am a bad seed inside. I pray that i can move forward without fear of discovery. I ask for God to guide me. To make me an instrument. Since this encounter, I believe there have been some karmatic coincidences. I try to accept that this is a direct result of my actions. I will go, to my grave with this secret. I am very sad inside. I love you my wife, you have been and always will be my soulmate. A day never passes that my love for you and the love we share hasnt been exactly as it is...true love and fulfillment. I can hardly remember life before you. I am sorry, very very sorry. I wish I could offer the answers to the questions that get asked. There was no motivation behind it. Just completely swept up, until I started thinking rationally.

I cheated on my boyfriend and hate it

I cheated on my boyfriend. That sentence stings so much. I always thought cheaters were scum, I couldn’t figure out why you’d cheat instead of staying with the person you supposedly "loved". The relationship I’m in has never been an easy one, for 11 months we’ve been struggling and fighting to keep our relationship. I know that there were a couple of times when we "weren’t technically together" that he had another girl in his bed and it drove me insane. He’s never been the most affection person (problems stemming from his childhood and previous relationships), but we’ve worked through a lot of it. Recently I just felt like I was being stiffed. Every time I asked for a kiss (He wouldn’t kiss me unless I asked, and I only ask for one when I’m about to leave or when he’s about to) he rolls his eyes and says "fine" then gives me a small peck and asks "are you happy now?" He won’t cuddle with me ("It’s too hot") or sleep in the same bed with me anymore. With recent factors (He’s having some legal trouble from a car accident a year ago and I’m working odd hours) I just felt completely alone. One day after he ignored my calls for 3 hours, I met up with an ex. It started out just hanging out and swimming and led to him cuddling me. It was something I hadn’t experienced in a long, long time and it over whelmed me. It ended up with me attempting to give him oral sex before I freaked out and asked him to leave.

I tried to tell my boyfriend, but he said he didn’t want to know and let me cuddle and fall asleep with him for the first time in three months.

I know he has accounts on dating sites and use to correspond with girls (never meeting up), but it didn’t bother me too much.

I feel like a monster and a terrible person. I know that it’s my own fault and I should face my own consequences, but I still love him. What happened with my ex was a total shot from left field and I want nothing more than to go back and time and punch myself. But it feels better getting it off my chest.

She won’t leave her husband

I have been an incredible 6 year relationship with the most wonderful woman I have ever known. Two years ago I left my wife. One year ago our divorce was final. My lover has yet to leave her husband, tho she says it will be soon. We have an incredible connection..... still!!! after 6 years!!!!, we get together and it seems to get even better every time. But why won’t she leave him??? I think I understand the reasons, but I am not sure. It is a strain on my heart at times, but I have never forgot that it is her decision and I do not want to put pressure on her. This is the only person who I have ever felt like I can completely be myself with. Should I wait longer????? She still has sex with her husband about 1 time per month, but her and I are almost 3 times a week!! yes.... even after 6 years of secrecy!!!! Why won’t she leave him??? they have two children together but our love affair has now been more than half her marriage. I love her dearly but I am losing hope!! Help!!!!!

My affair was a big mistake

I cheated on my wonderful boyfriend of 8yrs with the manager of a strip club. It all started when I was looking for a job that was "easy money". I went in to talk about being a staff member instead of a dancer. After about an hour or so he convinced me that I would make more money dancing then waitressing. So a week later I came back in for an audition and got the job.

After about a week of working there he started to send me text messages. Saying things like "you have a secret admirer" or other sweet little messages. One night after work he asked me if I want to go get a bite to eat. I accepted his invitation and we ended up at his house instead of eating. At first we hung out at his house and talked. I felt comfortable and relaxed. He’d listen to my complaints about my relationship and offer advice to "help" me.

After a month my boyfriend wanted me to quit dancing. I was upset and ran to my manager. He told me that my boyfriend didn’t understand because he doesn’t work in the "adult industry". I took what he said to heart and continued dancing for another couple of weeks. By this time my boyfriend demanded that I quit or risk losing our kids. So reluctantly quit. The night I quit I went over to my manager’s house and the physical part of the affair started. I started to lie about going to the gym so I could go over to his house. I lied about taking my time when I went shopping so I could spend some time with him.

My boyfriend finally caught me when I went to the "gym" one night and returned at 1am badly shaken. The affair with my manager started to get violent the previous encounter. I lied about where the bruises were coming from. Denied up and down that the bruise on my jaw was a hand print. I kept telling him I fell coming up the front porch when really my manager back handed me for trying to leave.

It took me 2 months to end the affair and now as I am trying to pick up the pieces more and more stuff that I hid or lied about keeps coming to the surface. My dancing is a constant reminder of my affair as I see my regular customers and my former co-workers everywhere. At the store, when we go out, and even at church. I don’t think we will ever get over this. Only a miracle can help us now.

Keep cheating on my boyfriend

I love my boyfriend so much but it seems like I can’t control myself when other men flirt with me and with three different guys it has lead to sleeping with them. I want to stop. My boyfriend is a good one. He’s everything that I’ve ever wanted but my greed leads me to cheat. I don’t want to be categorized as a whore but lately it’s all I can think about.

I just want to feel innocent again.

Am other woman

I’ve been the other woman for 3 and a half years, it finished end of last year he stayed with his wife and I fell apart. Awful things were said to each other, awful things that I regret, but now 8 months on, we are back speaking to each other.... he says that if it doesn’t work out he’ll come looking for me, Im the only person that makes him happy, he’s wife said the following to him when told her about our affair "I love u, it’s always been u, I’ll never find anyone else"... I heard this with my own ears so know its true. I haven’t got that emotional blackmail over him nor would I want to put him under that emotional blackmail either, I just wanted to share that I may be the stupid one. I may be hoping for a miracle, but I’m in love, it’s uncontrollable at times. We haven’t kissed etc since we split up but the closeness is still there, even after the horrendous 8 months that have passed. People knew about our affair whilst it was happening but now no one knows we are back talking, fool I am I know that but I need to keep this man in my life, I’m sitting here praying for a miracle, one that will destroy someone else’s, and that’s why as much as I can’t stop, I hate myself.

Feel guilty about cheating on my husband

I cheated on my husband before we got married and after we were married with the same person. I’ve stopped, but feel guiltier now than when I was in the middle of the cheating.

I feel horrible about a one night stand

I had a drunken fumble (one night stand) over 8 months ago while abroad on a Stag party. The problem is I am engaged to be married in Sept to my childhood sweetheart who I love so so much. I decided at the time not to confess and the guilt was fleeting there after, only recently it has come back into my life. Every spare thought I have revolves around how I could have done this (I barely remember the encounter as I was very drunk and it was so long ago). I hate myself for what I have done and so want it to be okay. I cannot tell my fiancee at this stage as the wedding is so close and she would be destroyed. There is absolutely no way she would find out unless I confess but I cannot bring myself to break her heart, however, every day I feel I am living a lie. I love her so much and know I would never do this again, but my life is spiraling into misery. I know I probably sound like I feel sorry for myself but I am devastated by what in the grand scheme of things going forward is truly insignificant. If anything the experience will make me a better husband as I know I would never do this to her again. I feel I am wasting the best days of my life and cannot forgive myself. Thanks for listening.

Monogamy isn’t working for me

I have stopped having affairs because I know it is wrong. I love my wife to death, but she just doesn’t have much to offer me sexually. I’ve tried working with her, to help teach her new things. But she’s so slow in making any changes, which just makes me think that she can’t do that for me. Doesn’t want to do that for me.

I would love to keep the affairs going and remain with my wife and family. That way I’ll be fully satisfied with my life. In fact, I would prefer to have an open marriage, or for her to know about them, so I don’t have to hide anything. That would be the best of both worlds for me. I loved the long term affair I had, and the woman I had it with (love her in a different way than my wife, but it’s still love), and the wonderful mind-blowing sex we had. I’ve had a couple of other partners over the years, but we didn’t click like the long term partner did. She was awesome in many ways, not just sexually.

I’m afraid that monogamy isn’t working for me. I’m afraid that I can’t do what society and religion tell us is the "right thing" to do. I get all that, and understand why it’s bad for society, but it’s just not me.

I am having a workplace affair

I have been attracted someone I work with and it has developed into a an affair. I feel a strong connection with this man and I am soooo afraid of hurting my husband. I love my husband, but there is something missing that this other fellow fills. This other fellow is married to someone else as well, and feels something missing too. Neither one of us want our secret to get out, but we don’t want to stop seeing each other either. This is so bittersweet. I’m not sure what to do.