Forbidden Love Secrets

I still love my first love

My first love has been in and out of my life since I married my husband 13 years ago. I love both men but feel very strongly about my first love—it’s almost cosmic. We actually went beyond "just talking" five years ago and had several rendezvous. Now we’re back to talking via e-mail. He’s married with a child now but, like me, can’t seem to let go of "us." I don’t think either of us will ever leave our spouses but a tryst now and again as well as a secret friendship would be perfectly acceptable to me. Am I a horrible person? Probably.

I am in love with a married man

I have been dating a married man for 18 months now (I am divorced). At first we were just physically attracted to each other but as the months went by we fell in love. He says he married his wife because they were good friends and there was never any passion, and that he discovered passion and love with me. And now he doesn’t want to give that up.

I feel bad about seeing a married man (he is married 12 years, no kids). I wish he was single and I have always told him that it bothered me. He promised he would sort it out in his head and I can see he is making headway (we keep growing closer and closer and he has become distant with her) but I am still torn; I tried dumping him several times but he always convinces me to stay. I also date other single men (I have learned my lesson and will never date another married man, ever) and he knows about it and it makes him very nervous, he doesn’t want to lose me.

Part of me hopes that I will meet a great single guy, fall in love with him and dump the married guy for good. Another part of me hopes that the married guy will leave his wife/roommate (as he calls her) and we can be happy together.

I don’t know where to put my head.

Secret love with co-worker

I have been married for almost 8 years. I married a friend. I’ve now found my soulmate. He is a co-worker who is also married. I’m falling in love with him but he doesn’t know it. I told my husband I wanted to separate so I could work on some issues I have with myself, which is true, but I wonder if I secretly hope my co-worker will come to me then.

No longer love my husband

I’ve been married for several years and have a child. A year and a half ago, I met another man online. What started out as a business transaction turned into a romance. This other man and I have a very strong connection, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s like as if he’s my soul mate. I love my husband dearly, but I’m deeply in love with this other man. There’s another problem-he lives 2000 miles away and has a girlfriend who he says he cares for but he is not in love with her. He keeps saying if our situations were different, we’d be together and I believe that. I love this man so strongly and want to be with him more than anything... but right now I’m too afraid to hurt my husband—he’s still in love with me very much. I don’t know what to do. I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt my husband, but I couldn’t live with myself as well, if I hurt my lover. This is really tearing me up inside!

I am married but I love my boss/friend

I am a married woman and I think I may be in love with a good friend, who was my ex-boss. He, however, has many a times confessed that he loves me. This relationship started sometime in April 2006 and it grew stronger till today. He has been re-located to another neighboring country since June 2006 but we’re still very much in contact via email, phone and online chatting too. I love my children and my husband and yet I have feelings towards this guy. What’s wrong with me? What should I do? How do I forget him? He still wants to keep in touch. He is married too. This so-called relationship is not heading anywhere, and I don’t want to make life miserable for the both of us but ending it would be good now than later. I hate myself knowing that I am somewhat unfaithful and since I also know his wife, I feel even worse. I don’t know what to do with these mixed feelings of mine. There were even times when we were together that I wanted to engage in sexual intercourse with him and believe me, we did, and I have been haunted by it ever since!

I’m leaving my husband

I have been in love with someone I haven’t seen for 15 years.

When he finally found me, I realized I have to divorce my husband, even though my husband loves me.

I am a woman in love with a married woman

So I’ve been in love with this woman (previous co-worker) for almost 3 years. I knew there was something there from the moment I saw her, but tried to ignore it! Since I too was a woman never having experienced these feelings for another woman before. I knew that I would never communicate that to her because of her marriage and my feelings of confusion. We spent quite a bit of time together 2-3 times a week in addition to working with one another almost everyday, so naturally we got to know each other pretty well having intimate conversations and awkward "friend" moments. Just when I thought I was overcoming these feelings, she approached me with her secret, that she had feelings for me that she couldn’t deny, and that the timing was terrible.

In love with my husband’s best friend

I intensely lust for my husband’s best friend and I don’t know how to stop it. He is great looking, sexy, and funny as hell. Laughing is the ultimate turn on to me, and while my husband (also good looking and very sweet, but can be pretty jealous) used to be fun (never to the extent as his best friend though) he has become really up-tight since we got married.

Anyway, his friend and I met because they were roommates when we were dating and the attraction has been there, for me anyway, since day one. My husband and I were long-distance for a while, so whenever I visited him it would be a while between trips. When the best-friend and I would first see one another on these trips, we’d say hello and for whatever reason always share a brief kiss on the lips in doing so. I have no idea how or why this started, but we still do it, and I think we both look forward to it every time.

On my wedding night, at an after-party with many of our guests in the hotel bar, he whispered to me that he wished there were two of me so that he could marry me too. I can’t even put into words how elated that made me feel and for a second, it seemed like were the only two people in the bar. To this day, it is one of the most romantic moments of my life. In response, I just laughed it off, hugged him quickly, and told him he was sweet for saying that and then pushed the most beautiful of my bridesmaids off on him because I wanted him to have a good time (and I knew she would totally sleep with him). Since the day I got married, I have not been able to get him out of my mind.

Recently, he was overseas for a while, and when he was gone I missed him so terribly. I would ask my husband about him a lot: how he was doing or when he thought he’d be able to come home, and he would joke that I had a "crush" on him. Of course, I would deny it but it forced me to realize that it was true, and probably more.

Now, he is back in the area and all I want to do is drive to his place and confess everything that I feel. Just a few weekends ago, we all got together to celebrate his homecoming. On the first night, I stayed pretty sober but enjoyed the little looks he’d give me, flirtations, and jokes that just the two of us seemed to get (as always). He got pretty drunk and before I got out of the car when we were getting dropped off he said goodbye to my husband, and then grabbed my hand and kissed it. I know that sounds sloppy and stupid (ha, ha! it was, but he was drunk!), but I couldn’t help but feel like there was truth behind it, or a reason for it...we had just had such a wonderful time hanging out together. The next night we met up again, and this time I got stupid drunk and I’m sure I embarrassed myself by staring at him a little too long a little too often, flirting as much as I could, and trying to be close to him (all while trying to be discreet about it). Honestly, it felt like he was doing the same. At one point, my hand drifted to his stomach while we were laughing about something (a flirting technique I mastered in my single days—always worked!). He jumped a little and excused himself to the bathroom. I have no idea if he was horrified and needed to get the hell away from me, or he wanted me to touch him as bad as I did, but had to get away because it was so wrong! My husband was right there chatting with some of the other people we were with, and I am pretty sure he didn’t notice.

I am in love with my husband’s friend

I am in love with my husbands friend. We dated briefly while me and my husband were broken up (during engagment) and I fell head over heels for him. I cry everytime I hear songs that we used to both like and relive every minute we were together all the time. The friend is not a good guy. I know that but he made me so happy and laugh more than my husband ever could. I felt like I had found my perfect match but I messed it up because I knew my husband wanted to marry me badly and is a super man. I am literally paralyzed every time I see him and deliberating avoid him because I can’t help but want to be with him. Love is a cruel, cruel thing.

I am in love with two people

I am happily married but have developed a mutual emotional relationship with another person. To prevent things from going too far I have decided not to communicate anymore. Not really working. How can I be in love with two people at the same time?