Drug Use Secrets

Hurt and confused by my ex

I still love my ex. We were involved for a year and half. We had a deep emotional tie without sex, which was completely her choosing. Then she ended our relationship with no explanation. She wouldn’t let me call her or talk to her. I never knew why. I felt thrown away like garbage. Nine years passed. I am now married to a wonderful wife. I just recently found out I am dying from renal failure. The need to mend my past comes back. I track down my ex only to discover that she is into BDSM (sex and bondage and fetishes). My world is completely shattered. The woman I secretly loved all these years is not who I thought she was. It should not matter, but it hurts so deeply. Why do I still care? I try to concentrate on the time I have left with my family, but I can only think about her and why things turned out the way they did.

I am in love with my friend

I’m in love with my best friend. I love him with all my heart and told me he was in love with me. The problem is he is married to a wonderful woman whom I also call my friend. Every time I see him it brightens my day. Looking in his eyes is the best feeling in the world. I have never loved anyone like I love him. I don’t know what to do. We said we would never speak of it again but every time I see him I want his arms wrapped around me. We have never done anything because he is married. I don’t want to be without him in my life but I can’t keep pretending that I don’t love him. It hurts so bad to see them together. I really do love both of them and this hurts so bad. I don’t know what to do anymore. Do I just stay in their life because they are a very big part of mine or do I let go of our friendships. If I continue like this I hurt if I let him go all together I hurt. I just want it to stop. I can’t even be with no one else because he is all I think about and it is not fair to the person I would be seeing.

I had an affair which I had to keep secret

For the past 21 years I have had a romantic love affair with my brother in law. I’ve had 4 kids during this time, many are probably my husband’s brother’s kids. I don’t know for sure. I do know that we loved each other very much. Recently, he started dating someone else and I could not bear the pain of it. My husband suspected our relationship but he had no valid evidence. Now I do not know what to do. I really love this man, but he no longer wants to be with me. I have never felt this low before and I have no where to turn.

If I follow my heart everyone will be hurt

I never met my cousins on my father’s side for almost 21 years... until I went out of country. I met my 2nd cousin and now we love each other so much. Our relatives have noticed our sweetness, and they separated us. They were so mad at us, especially my cousin’s brother. They said that it is shameful. But we love each other and we always keep in touch... We plan to go to another country where no one knows us and where we will be accepted. It’s a great plan right?

But the problem is his daughter... He is not married… In short, he is a single father... He doesn’t love the mother of his daughter, but he loves his daughter.

What should I do? I love him so much and he loves me too. If we follow our hearts we will hurt everyone... But if we follow what they want, I’ll never be that happy again. I’m so confused!

I am in love (and kissed) my husband’s friend

I am in love with my husband’s friend that be brought into our house to live 6 months ago. My husband can be mean and stern. His friend was fun, made me laugh and spent time with me. The friend also has had cancer a year and a half ago and in recovery for the addiction and had been clean for last year. We would talk about a lot of things the 6 months he has been with us that he would never discuss with a guy friend. Recently seems like he has returned to drugs and stole an item from us that we got him to fess up and return. Nothing had happened between us to this point. Of course we had to tell him to leave the house which has made me terribly upset. Unable to eat upset. He denies that he is using any drugs. And for some reason my logical mind tells me I know better and can see all the signs but I can’t stop talking to him, especially after we kissed. The day he came to get his stuff from our house we stared at each other like we felt each other’s pain. Ended up in a room with me sobbing uncontrollably and him holding me. With staring in between, eventually the kiss happened. Nothing long or explicit. Just enough to make me melt in his arms. All I can think of is him and how much I need him to do that again. And how afraid I am that it won’t. At times I am wondering if I felt something that really wasn’t there.

I am in love with my boss

I am in love with my married boss. He and I have been together for a little over 2 months and I love him more than anything. I am 36 years old and I have never been in true love. He is my soul mate, but I know I am wrong and I know he probably sees even more women. I am depressed all the time except when I am with him. When he leaves, I am so sad I feel sick I lost a lot of weight cause I can’t eat or sleep. I know I have to end it, but I am hurting so bad at the idea. I know I will have to quit my job cause I could not stand to see him. He is good to me when we are together and he says he is in a loveless marriage—how typical. I am not stupid, but I am totally lost where he is concerned.

I am in love with my husband’s best friend

I have been married with my husband for 5 1/2 yrs. We have one child together. I have been cheating on my husband ever since we started dating with his best friend. He is married also and has a child the same age as my son. I really have strong feelings for my lover. He has always been there for me. We have tried to stop what we are doing but we can’t. The love we have for each other is so big that we can’t stop!!! I believe this is always going to go on because I am not going to leave my husband nor is he going to leave his wife, even though we want too!!! At times I feel bad for my husband because it is his best friend and his wife is my friend and I don’t know what they would do if they found out that we have a secret relationship and that we have kept it a secret for so long.

Story of my affair with a married man

I grew up used to being alone; I didn’t had any relationships even when I was already in college...
I didn’t intend for it to happen but for the first time I fell, he is already married.

We shared so many wonderful moments for 9 years, filled with happiness as well as so many struggles
I love him so much, and I know he loves me as much.
So they say:
Sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along..
Though we have this powerful love between us, he cannot leave his family because of the children..
And I understand that, and I never even dared to ask for him to make a choice between me and his family, because as much as I love him,
I never intend to hurt anyone..

I know some people will never understand us so called "other woman",
Though we are always thought as a destroyer of lives
But for me, I never took advantage even he tells me often that he loves me more than his wife
When they fight, I was the one who even asked him to go back to her..
I know it sounds crazy, but for me.
I love him more than my own interests.
I gave everything up...he was my first kiss, my first love.
I got used to waiting, hoping to spend time with him again, because he makes me happy.

So I had accepted that I will always be second best,
Though one time I tried to break up with him, I said that the time will come we have to say goodbye and that was the time.
But he never let go of my hand.
He pleaded for me to stay..
He cried on my shoulders and it melted my heart, I tried to do the right thing...but love just couldn’t give up.
We cried that night, but it was the most passionate and wonderful night we had for the 9 years we held on..

He got sick two months ago, he had to resign from work because of his condition.
Just three days ago, he said he wanted to let me go.
That he can no longer be there for me.
I know he still loves me.
B
But he wants me to have a life more than he could offer and I love him even more because of that.
But I don’t have a choice but to accept it.
Though deep in heart, I am still hoping he will change his mind.
That he is just having some difficulties right now..
But I believe he will come back..
He must... for I don’t think I will ever go on the same without him...

My lover just got married

My lover just got married, and within 2 months he was after me again. He took me shopping, and in the Victoria’s Secret Dressing room we had sex. He teases me so much! He kissed me right then and there, and then, we’re both catching our breath from the intensity and he says he wants to back off.

Saying, ‘I can’t do this.’ But the next time we saw each other he was all over me again. I still want him, and I wish I could stop thinking about him.

I’m engaged myself. I’ve broken off the engagement before, for him. I don’t know if it could ever work with me and this married man. I wish it could. I wish we could be together and our partners could have happily ever after with someone else. I wish we could make love and laugh all day long together.

I am the other woman

I’m a single woman in love with a married man. Oldest cliche there is, it would seem. I know that there is only heartbreak ahead, but despite some attempts, I just seem unable to break away. There is lots of advice out there for spouses being cheated on, and how to repair a marriage after an affair, but really scant resources for someone in the position of "the other woman" -- just about universal condemnation, actually; our culture just hates the whole idea and would just as soon leave we "other women" to the garbage heap, apparently. This lack of resources seems surprising since if there are SO MANY extramarital affairs out there there MUST be a lot of we "other women" out there suffering as well. So I find myself trying to figure this out alone as my lover struggles with his confusion over how to leave.