Past Comments – Children and Lying

Comments (52)

written by andovermom, 29 November, 2011
How do you deal with a 16 year old who lies about everything. I dont believe anything she says. To look at her she is a great kid, she doesnt stay out late, hang with boys, cuss, and she gets good grades. I deal with this daily and I feel completely defeated. There is no punishment that will work. She just shrugs it off. I feel this is a clinical matter. I just dont know what to call it. Anybody else deal with this?
written by in the same boat, 29 November, 2011
Yes! I am dealing with the same issues with my 17 year old daughter. I am trying to find my way around this and help her to understand that the truth is the best way and that I’d rather hear the truth than find out a lie. In a strange way I am comforted by your post,it makes me realize that part of this may just be the age.
Right now I am taking it one day at a time. I am in touch with her school on a regular basis, and I am still following through with consequences to the lies even tho I feel like at times just giving up and saying "Do what ever you want." Parenting at this age is very hard because we never will know the whole story.
Good Luck I’ll be praying for you and your daughter.
written by Jagdeep k, 01 December, 2011
Hey i lie about everything. i tended to recently lied about having a child and im 13 i dont know how to control myself cause everything i do is a lie.. i need mental help and i need it now !
written by Jessica Miller, 12 January, 2012
I am sick of lying. I really wish I could stop. My parents are such lovely people and sometimes right after I lie to them, I want them to yell at the top of their lungs at me and tell me how much of a liar I am. I only see it getting worse day after day, and I feel more and more guilty. I’m 13 and I don’t want people to see me as "that girl that can’t be trusted" or "that crazy chick who has a shrink." I honestly can’t handle that right now.

The person that commented before me (the other 13 year old) kind of makes me feel better that I’m not the only one. Thank you. You may have given me the littlest bit of confidence to tell them now. I genuinely hope things work out for you.
written by Monique1, 14 January, 2012
Thanks for sharing your stories everyone. Girls, you should be proud of yourselves for your honesty describing your situations. You are not alone. My 16 year old son keeps lying to me so he won’t get in trouble. In the past year he was expelled from school for fighting and sent away to a boot camp for 7 months. He came out saying all the right things about learning from his mistake but lately his behavior and lying has escalated to no end! Its gotten him in more trouble and its getting worse. He’s in counseling so I’m hoping eventually he’ll learn the importance of telling the truth. Its so frustrating not being able to believe or trust him. If its a phase he’s going through, I wish it would end and he would start being the respectable young man he was raised to be. I just can’t take the chaos anymore.
written by mlarae, 15 January, 2012
I’m a single mother of 5 beautiful children everything was great up till about 2 years ago. She was 13 at the time when it all started she ran away from home, because she wanted to go hang out with her boy friends and drink and do drugs. I reported her in they caught her at school the next morning,then it happened again this time I didn’t find her for almost a week. I figured being in JDC she would snap out of it,but it didn’t. she got worse she then started telling lies to everyone just because she wanted to go live with her dad. So I constantly have social serves coming to my house because she keeps telling them that I beat her up. I told her probation officers that I was scared of my own daughter,because she is trying to put me in prison that’s what is so scary. she wants to go live with her dad so she can go run around and do what she wants,because she can’t do it with me. Then it came down to Ya why can’t she go live with her dad the courts asked. I’m thinking to my self ok what did I do so bad that you don’t think that I can raise my daughter by my self until she is 18? I am the only 1 that took care of her for this long now you just want me to give her up? Never received a dime in child support. The father only came around to see her when he wanted. Then I turned to them and ask would you want your child to go live with a rapist he has charges currently on him. A parent cries out for help for their child nobody listens,but when the child cries out they are at your front door within seconds. What is a parent supposed to do?

written by notknow what to do, 15 January, 2012
I’m reading these stories and thinking wow. I’m dealing with a 13 year old stepson whose mother raised him to lie about everything. He is a compulsive liar. He lies even when there is no reason to do so. As far as some of the parents, these kids need to journal (written or video) about why they lie. As far as the child who wants to live with dad, get her to write down what she wants and if that is what she wants, let her go. But have her recognize that she is accountable for her choices and thinking errors. At 17, they think they know it all and all we can do is explain to them possible outcomes and consequences.
written by I dont know what to do, 19 January, 2012
My children are in their 30s and they lie lie lie. I don’t to even want talk to them because who knows if it is going to be true or not! How does one keep a relationship yet distance themselves from the lies?

written by Sadteen, 05 February, 2012
I lie. And I realized today that I can’t control it, big or small, to get myself out of trouble.... I am a 16 year old male, and I feel horrible for lying but I don’t know how to stop
written by confusedteen, 07 February, 2012
I realized recently that I lie about almost everything... mostly to get myself out of trouble but I end up just digging myself deeper. I want my parents to be able to trust me again but I don’t know how to stop myself from lying it’s like an addiction. I feel like I can’t trust anyone with the truth so lies would somehow be better. I want to be an honest person but I feel so vulnerable when i’m 100% honest.
written by Rk, 14 February, 2012
I too have an almost 20 yr. old Daughter who lies to me about mostly everything! The only time she’s truthful,is when she tells me how terrible I am. I sent her to her Dads to live at 18 because she was causing such a rift in my and my current Husbands relationship. The drug paraphernalia I’d found in my home told me why the day I took her to her Dads to stay she got in my face and called me a "B&@ch" A year went by, nothing from her,she comes now, however there are always these "limitations"as to how much time I’m allowed, and sits here bragging about how her Dad allows her to smoke pot in the house and her boyfriend lives there and sleeps right across the hall in a 978 square foot home from her Dads room. My problem is her Father has told her HORRIBLE STORIES about me, and none are true. I hurt so bad, but only can love her and I have to stop trying to be part of her life. She has to want that, all I can do is Love her.She wants to believe these horrible stories about Me, and it’s put a terrible strain in our relationship. I pray for her and wish her well and hopefully someday when she has kids of her own,she’ll wake up. Her lying is so bad, she can’t keep things straight, and when you call her on it, she gets ENRAGED! Please Pray for her she’s a Sociopath liar, charming, and doesn’t think twice about hurting others for personal gain. And yes we’ve had counseling, she fooled even one of the best psychologist in our state!
written by Worried Sister, 22 February, 2012
My younger sister; who is 16 and whom I am raising lies about everything. She’s made up friends, even going so far as to make a Facebook page for them with fake photos. She pretends to be talking to them on the phone even tho nobody is there. She even made a whole sports team and pretended to be going to events when she’s actually been ditching school.She told her real friends that she is adopted into my family and that her real family died which is far from the truth as we haven’t lost anyone. She doesn’t have a bad life. I mean sure its rough but we manage. I confronted her about the lies and she told me i was crazy. I try punishing her but she just acts like she doesn’t care. Her lies are so detailed and she’s gone through so much trouble to cover her tracks that I’m worried that this may be a mental condition. Please can anyone tell me what to I should do?
written by smariel, 26 February, 2012
I think it’s pretty normal for teenagers to lie. My friends and I all lied to our parents on a constant basis about where we were going, who we were seeing and what we were doing. I guess thinking back I did it because I felt mine were too controlling and it was the only way I could exercise some free will. And now? I’m 35 and honesty and integrity are extremely important values that I live by. So... what can I say. I’m sure you can think back to your own childhoods too and how you behaved? I think it’s a natural step in emotional growth.
written by moira, 29 February, 2012
My daughter is 13 and I’m now at the end of my rope, she has lied from an early age, she once told the teachers I made her sleep in the cupboard an that when I got married I was getting rid of her, I had to face 7 social workers! Now she’s at a different school an I just heard of her latest lie on Monday, her aunty died in a car crash at the weekend! These are 2 of the worst but she lies on a daily basis about everything, she pretends to be ill, ALL the time, an she has minor accidents that I’m now thinking she may have caused herself. I’m in continuous talks with school as I was at her first school, she has had help over the years but is so rude and unresponsive it goes nowhere! She’s angry most of the time aggressive most of the time, she has no friends and is continually bullied by everyone because she tells these lies!! The school up to now has been supportive but they cant help anymore so now I’m going to my doctor to see if I can get her some professional help, I’m at an all time low an I’m very much questioning my parenting now, even though I know as a single parent iv given her everything, I can see no end to this
written by seekinghelp, 29 February, 2012
My boyfriend’s daughter is 5 years old and she lies quite a bit. I have tried to figure out why she lies, she just doesn’t know why she lies and that makes this bad, the sad part is her mother is a liar, I cannot even think of the category she is in with the lies, but my goodness most things out of this woman’s mouth are a lie, and now her daughter lies about things everyday. It’s driving us crazy and we have no way to figure out how to get her help
written by MiserableMum, 06 March, 2012
I left my abusive husband 12 years ago, and fought for custody for 3 years in the Family Court, finally winning. At the time, my 4 children were 4,6,8 and 12. My 12 year old is the only one who can remember the abuse that I was subjected to.

Now my children are 16, 18, 20 and 23—my only daughter is 18. Since she could talk, she has lied—and up until about the age of 13, these lies would be considered "normal lies that kids tell". Since puberty however, the lies have become incessant—almost every time she opens her mouth, she is lying to "beef up" her image; lying to impress her friends; lying to cover up her actions; lying so that she will be permitted to do things or go places; lying so that she doesn’t get into trouble—but whatever the reason, it is extremely difficult to deal with.

Since she turned 15, I have called her out on every lie that I become aware of, and ask her why she lied. The common responses are either a shrugging of the shoulders or "I don’t know" or "because". She doesn’t seem to be at all upset that she lies, or that she apparently cannot control it.

It has recently come to my knowledge that she has lied to her friends about me—making me out to be some monster—telling them that I never let her go anywhere and that I beat her up. I’ll admit that on a couple of occasions, I did lose control and lash out physically. My daughter has taken these two isolated occasions, and told her friends that it is a regular and daily thing—that she is abused, and that’s why she lies. I was so ashamed that I now force myself to be calm, no matter how angry I am.

A couple of months back, my daughter ran her mobile phone bill sky high, and asked me to ring the phone company. I did this, and they did waive the bill because of a technicality, but I asked her who she’d been calling that sent the bill so high. She said "no-one different, I don’t understand it". I asked if there was something she wanted to tell me—and she said "no". I always respect my children’s privacy, I don’t read their mail or their diaries and I don’t enter their rooms unless it is after knocking—but this one day, I felt in my bones there was something I needed to know. So, I entered her room and found some letters to my daughter. At first I thought they were the normal love letter type stuff that goes on when girls discover boys—but they I discovered that they were very vulgar, crass and graphic—from a girl, who was telling my daughter all the things she liked doing to her.

I’m unable to mask my feelings very well, so when my daughter returned from work, I immediately told her what I had found—and found out that she had been approached by a girl at work over 15 months previously, and had been having a lesbian relationship with her since the age of 16.

The lesbian relationship is not the issue: I’m not a was the lying that she had done over the course of that 15 months in order to maintain the lesbian relationship. It was the insulting way she had treated me like a fool. It was the double-life—I felt like I had been living with an imposter.

And when I exploded verbally about the lack of respect she had shown me; about how she had been so deceitful; about her ongoing lies—she said "I just lied because I knew you wouldn’t understand"—somehow turning it on to me; justifying the lies.

If she only lied about these types of things, I could understand that she just didn’t want to get into trouble—but she lies about whether she fed the cat; whether she did her homework; whether she had a shower—and then totally fabricates "stories" about her day, her friends, her grades, and the list goes on. Sometimes when I ask a simple question like "who used all the milk", she will actually blame one of her brothers—right in front of them when she knows that it was actually her.

It’s now at the point where the trust is gone—I see little point in even trying to have a conversation with her, because I never get a plain or simple truthful answer—it is always embellished in one form or another. Every time I let my guard down, she sees that as me being a pushover..

As horrible as it sounds—I no longer enjoy the company of my only daughter; and if I am to be completely honest, I don’t really like her anymore. In fact I resent her for bringing me so much misery; for treating me like an idiot—when I have struggled for 12 years (without any financial or moral support from my ex husband); made many many sacrifices—just for this kind of rubbish.

I am tired of hearing her constantly justify her lies; or worse, continuing to lie and express her honesty—it’s just so very insulting.
written by Dave H – UK, 25 April, 2012
Hi, I was so happy to read the above comments. I’m a foster carer and had fallen into a sort of trap in believing our 13 yr old lad was soooo different. Though nothing changes in how we respond to his stories and mis-truths, I’m not alone! I shouldn’t feel this way but for ten months we’ve been trying every layman’s tactic, PLUS psychologist intervention, plus CAMHS (mental health expertise in the UK) but no-one yet has said how it’s there—all around—and all having consequences with damage and hurt. I’m so relieved (if you know what I mean!) THANK YOU.
written by Ayesha, 03 June, 2012
We are parents of a 28 year old son who is working, unmarried and living with us (in a third world country). He is a habitual liar since high school days and we got to know the depth of his lies only after he was away attending university in another country. He continued to lie about his expenditure, grades, needs, life.. almost anything and everything. We spent all our earning on his education to find out later that he has really spent all money on leisure, food and a life full of entertainment without studying. Luckily not on drugs, liquor or womanizing.

Our earnings were very high but sacrificed a rich lifestyle for his sake. When we didn’t have any more money to spend, got him down to live with us, found a job and enrolled in another degree program believing that he would learn from his mistakes but we were wrong. He lied about everything, spend all his earnings for entertainment and outings and got us to pay for his tuition fees and food from whatever savings we have.Yet, he is not serious about studies! When we try to point out that he will end up being a burden to himself after ruining our life too, he starts arguing and behaves as if it is of no matter to us and no concern for him. At this age, we cannot do anything more for him and he is surely heading for worse.

We usually believe that our children are truthful as we grew up with such values. Even they were brought up in such atmosphere but it has taken a different turn. When reading stories around the world, we see that this is a common problem and parents are helpless however they try their best to help them.
written by Aimz, 18 June, 2012
I have a step daughter who lives with my husband and I. She only came last year after a grueling struggle with her mother. She was being alienated from her father. However she has no respect. I said she could not dye her hair till she is 12 and get her to dress warmly and appropriately for sport as she had a ankle injury last year—because of this I am mean and she tells her friends that she hates us and talks to her dad like crap. She does many activities, does not go without and generally gets to do what she wants to do but I do not know how to cope with the constant bagging of us!

written by soalonemom 6-19-12, 20 June, 2012
we have four children, and they use each other, don’t know how else to explain them, 3 boys, 1 girl, they are 2 in there 50’s, one in his 40’s, and one son in his 30’s. When they are together, they totally agree with the wrong they do, not together, its the other that did it. I am treated as the parent in the wrong, and am there reason for all their wrong doings and their feeling of not being cared for. There dad and I have been married 53 years, and I do not get any help from him, I can count on my fingers the times he has backed me up, to my face he does, but when he sees them nothing is said, he is all smiles and all is good. All four of our children have been in prison now, drugs and embezzlement, it breaks my heart, all that has been done after they were on their own, our first son had teenage problems with joy riding, and I am the one that turned him in, and the judge took him out of our home in hopes of teaching him to follow the rules at home, it did not work. Our daughter not long ago, made the remark to me after we hadn’t been talking for some time, that her dad had told her that our youngest son was not his, and of course that really seized my heart, so I asked her dad why he would tell her that our youngest wasn’t his, and he says to me, I never told her that. The following day I told her, dad said he never told you that, and she looked at me with hate and said, why would you tell him that, I looked at her and I said, why wouldn’t I ask him about it, she just looked at me in anger, and didn’t stay. It made her dad so angry, at least it appeared so, but he never called her on it, and then up till now he didn’t want her in our home again, he said he wouldn’t even call her when I passed on, then on fathers day, she calls and they talk a long time, he was as nice as could be, no anger in his voice, never asked to talk to me, I am sure she knew I would say no at that time, so her dad and I are not talking, I asked him why were you so sweet on the phone, as though nothing had happened, and he says, why not, and I say, all in the same week, you said you didn’t want her around and wouldn’t even call her when I died, you never even spoke to her about hurting me with the statement she made about what you had said, after that I have not spoken to him. I am in my 70’s and I don’t know who to trust, and who will ever be beside me is very questionable.
written by Sophie13, 21 June, 2012
I’m a 13 year old girl and I think I have a compulsive lying disorder. I’ve made up major lies up and made it sound like I come from a horrible back ground when really I’m so lucky and my life is so... Perfect. I don’t know what to do or how to stop!
written by Tricia K, 26 June, 2012
I used to lie to my parents because they were overprotective and if I hadn’t lied I wouldn’t have been able to go to the library or the park alone until I was 16 or older. I was taught to tell white lies to "keep the peace" or to avoid hurting feelings of others. As I’ve got older I find I lie a lot more. I do keep trying to stop but it’s such a bad habit it often just slips out (eg saying I went for a run when I haven’t even gone into the yard all day). My daughter’s father was a pathological liar. I felt I was understanding of him but really it was codependency. My daughter (now mid teens) told "regular kid lies" when she was younger but since turning 12 it’s all about making herself look better, no matter what the cost. I figure this is genetically ingrained behavior because her dad didn’t live with us and I’m honest with her, at least, about when it’s definitely not okay to lie (I tend to lie to my current partner about my activities and spending habits, but not in front of my daughter). I’m hoping she grows out of it.
written by Jaida, 26 June, 2012
I’m 14 and I lie about my family, my culture, and about stupid stuff like boys and where I was born. I’m a writer and I’ve always been creative in my thoughts but when I lie out loud I know its wrong but I don’t stop...
written by Concerned Friend, 04 July, 2012
So my friend is 16 and has told lies about everything. Just the simplest question he responds with a lie. He has been caught many times lying and got a new name. And he is a good kid, whose quite friendly and at times odd. I mean i know everybody lies but this boy is insane he has lied about his hook ups, his muscles, his grades, and his social life and not to mention his name is a lie to. He insists its legally joey which is a lie. any advice on how a friend can help a lying child
written by hurtmom54153, 08 July, 2012
My 12 year old has been coming up with some serious lies. For the last year I’ve Caught her in many lies. She lies to her friends to her teachers about her friends about her teachers where she’s going I just I don’t know what to do. I’ve been crying myself to sleep at night over her latest lies. They were some that could really have gotten this person in trouble. When asked why she lied about them she said because she was mad and wanted them punished.
written by Scared stepmom, 09 July, 2012
I have a step son (who I do love very much) who lies constantly, is defiant and disrespectful. I love him. Unconditionally... A month or so ago.. He told his mom that I punched him in the face and threw him down into a cement Storm drainage ditch. Of course she went to the police.. I would have too. But now I’m absolutely terrified to be around him. I simply don’t trust having him in control of my freedom. My husband, who in every other aspect of our relationship is amazing, thinks I should just let it go... And I’m trying to get past it.. But it’s hard. I have my own children to worry about as well. Am I wrong?
written by Someone in the Shadows, 09 July, 2012
I have read all the comments here and in a rare moment of honesty I will have to say I am truly surprised not a single person has spoken about how great lying really is. Not one has commented on how easy and guiltless lying is, the enjoyment gained from weaving a tall tale with a silver tongue and fooling those around yourself. Though deceitful children with intelligence are harder to find these days I find myself in awe over the intellectual advantage we have over the average adult.
written by TierdMom, 25 July, 2012
Recently my son is lying about stealing his brothers Ipod touch and Dsi. I have to live locked up so he wont steal from me. He doesn’t know I found the dsi and ipod in the closet after searching for 2 weeks. He used a butter knife to tamper with the lock and put the electronics in there. Since I found out all I do is have talks with him about how I want to trust him but the lying has to stop. He still denies taking his little brothers things. I’m hoping his stealing and lying will stop because the punishments at home are easy than a punishment from a judge and going to jail. Life is hard being a single mom of 6.
written by Lies, 31 July, 2012
To lie is to grow and mature everything will be good in the end.
after harsh there is a beautiful rainbow
written by completescrewup, 23 August, 2012
well i recently turned 18 and i lie about literally everything. i got caught up in a guy and it turned out pretty bad my mom saying i could never see him and i did multiple times she caught me once,then my neighbor caught me a couple times,and that led to me almost getting kicked out and losing my family, and now i recently lied again to cover up seeing him again, and i don’t want to keep getting called "disgusting", "stupid", or anything else my mom says, so i need help and don’t know where to go....
written by..., 07 September, 2012
I’m a single mom of 4 boys very happily this way, but my 6yr old is starting to lee alot about me and my father whom watches him while I work he’s telling the teachers that I’m mean to him and that my dad pushes him. Its like every time he gets in trouble at home with me he wants me to get punished for punishing him but I told him telling those lies will only get him out of my home and into another home with people he don’t know because the child protective services wont let you stay here if they think were hurting you. And he tells me than start to be nice to me and I didn’t mean what I told them anyway it’s the past. What do I do punish him and get told on more are let it go..
written by HURT MOTHER72, 21 September, 2012
written by distraught mommy, 24 September, 2012
Why is my 4 year old son lying and when I ask him to tell me the truth, he says "I don’t know" please, someone tell me how do I get to the truth without exploding and getting angry because I hate being lied to! Why does he keep saying "I don’t know?" HELP!!!

written by Beyond Wits End, 02 October, 2012
We have an 11 year old boy who seems to lie compulsively. Sometimes it’s obvious, and other times, not so much. Even when faced with clear facts showing that he MUST be lying, he keep pushing his story, even adding to it, screaming and crying that it’s true and angry that we don’t believe him. He knows it’s wrong and that it hurts him as well as us to keep lying, but he can’t stop himself. My wife has been terribly hurt and betrayed by those she’s trusted in the past and she has gotten to the point she can hardly stand to be around him. After trying so many methods to get him to stop, is the only solution psychological help?
written by suggestion, 03 October, 2012
How about giving them a good ole’ fashioned spanking! AND if they are over 18 get an eviction order, have them thrown out, and tell them that they need to learn life the hard way since the easy way wasn’t working out. Problem solved.
written by prayerworks, 15 October, 2012
Wow truth certainly is stranger than fiction that’s all I can say. I just want to say to each of you that prayer changes everything. I know it sounds trite. But it’s true. I have found prayer to work over and over and over again. I just lay my problems down at the foot of the cross and pray pray pray. Then I just believe for a miracle. like today for instance. I’ve been having serious lying issues and other issues with my 23 year old son. He started the lying as a child and it got worse and worse. His grades bottomed out in high school and the only way he graduated was because of summer school and a lady whose job all day was to sit with lazy high school students and graduate them somehow. Then we thought he should go to a specialized college learning about stuff that interested him. Well he just flunked out of that school too. Twice. and we were left with thousands of dollars to pay. Then he moved in with his druggie friends. (I’m shortening the story sooooo much, btw) Through praying and crying out to God every day for a couple of years, my son came back home and turned his life around drastically. But then he couldn’t find a job. He literally laid on the couch or sat in front of the computer all day for about a year. I kept praying and crying to God. Suddenly seemingly out of the blue he was offered a full time job. (oh i fail to mention the reason he couldn’t find a job was because he was laid off or fired over and over for missing work or stealing) Anyway he suddenly realized this may be his last chance to get offered a job if he didn’t change. So he decided to work hard for the first time in his entire life. He’s been there for 3 months or so now and jumps out of bed every morning on his own and seems excited to go to work. Now the next step is the lying. So I’m gonna cry and pray every day to God and I believe the lying will be a thing of the past like everything else.
written by Godgirl, 17 October, 2012
I keep lying. I can’t stop. I try. I believe in god and want him to be my savior a but I keep lying about everything. To my friends parents and my boyfriend. I love them. I keep reading bible verses and basically I’m going to Hell. I am scared of my mind. I don’t want to lie but I do. Oh god give me strength and someone please help me...please?
written by wheredoigofromhere, 19 October, 2012
I am afraid of getting in trouble and I’m afraid that even the smallest of things will get me in trouble (like kissing my boyfriend). My boyfriend and i were kissing and things went a little far but not very far, and when my parents asked if we had done anything i said no out of fear. now they know and i have to come up with my own punishment because they don’t know what to do. I’m 17, and i don’t know what to do. my parents hate me and i heard my mom say she wanted me to move out. i don’t know what to do
written by justadude, 22 October, 2012
I used to lie a lot as as kid and teenager. Mostly just to save my ass, and I was very good at it. Still am if I do so. That said I 33 now and I always tell the truth, even when it screws me.I hate when that happens. Sometimes lying is just beneficial I guess. But honesty is the best way to go about things. But I do have to ask all the grow ups here...what have You lied about. Lately??
written by dad of 3, 10 November, 2012
My 13 yr old daughter has told her friends that me and her mother have hit her and her mate went and told the teacher now we are about to be investigated by social services what a joke we have never raised a hand to any of our kids but this has spiraled out of control my daughter has a high iq and has always been happy at home i cannot understand why she has done this neither can her 2 sisters i feel so low at the moment i don’t know what to do with her but she’s refusing to talk to us and tells me that if i carry on asking she will go into care and we will never see her again i cant understand why this is happening we have always been so happy,now this is tearing apart our family please has anyone else experienced this and what should i do?

written by Ben b brisbane, 15 November, 2012
I reckon it’d be your daughters mate who’s behind it the one who dobbed with young people I reckon there’s pretty much always an outside contributing factor, an older bad influence, a bad friend in the ear, or a bad crowd.
written by wheretogo, 16 November, 2012
Ive been lying to my parents since i was 13. I was hanging out with a guy (we weren’t doing anything). My parents have been really overprotective but i know it’s mostly the mistrust I gave them Honestly if I were to do it all again I would’ve tried harder to tell the truth but again it’s really hard when your parents are overprotective regardless. I have been in love 3 times and those 3 times they made me feel bad for it. One at 16, the next at 22 and now I am 26. At 26 I want to be able to fix the mistakes that i’ve made before but trying to tell them the truth and not hiding anything. I feel really uncomfortable about telling them anything especially my father since he is very very old fashioned and he tends to pass judgement about anyone. He doesn’t like anyone. When I was younger he would always go through my stuff, diaries and whatever to prove that I was lying. I think ever since then Ive been more traumatized because of it. I don’t know what to do, I feel like such a horrible person because I didn’t want to get in trouble and disappoint them even though that is what ended up happening..
written by John., 18 November, 2012
I lied to my mom about where I was, and stayed out all night. She found out and then she shut me down for like two months with absolutely NO privileges. She went through my phone and found out ALL my secrets. I just recently got ungrounded and the lying began instantly. Now I got caught for lying about being at mcdonalds when i was really on the bad side of town with some friends just hanging out. She flipped and I know my lying is going to stop but she shouldn’t be so judgmental about some of my friends that are a little ghetto but live in nice houses/ don’t drink or do drugs/ or steal. its ridiculous
written by dinah, 28 November, 2012
i feel so.much better. m 10 year olds father is moving out of the country for a year and as a way of dealing with this she has told her teachers i am mean and shout and scream at her. at home she is happy as usual and we have a close relationship. bit school have earmarked her as coming from a very unhappy home and made out i was a bad parent. i have told her that she is gonna get me in trouble but she doesn’t seem to care. its like she blaming me for something i cant control
written by lea_g, 27 December, 2012
I found, growing up, that the biggest reason for lying I had was the over-reaction by my parents. Now that I’m a step mom, to a tween and a toddler, I find that the more I react to an unwanted behavior, the more they do it, and lie. So, to combat this, when something upsets me, I do my best to ignore it and parent reasonably—taking the thrill out of lying for them. For stealing & hitting, they get punished, but they also have to sit down and talk to my husband and I about how they would feel if they were the victim. I try to make it clear that it’s normal to make-believe, but we don’t confuse that with reality. Another big help was getting the tween into therapy as soon as I became step-mommy. It really helps, she gets a sane adult to talk to, bounce ideas around, and it helps her behavior and attitude a lot. I know the teenage years will be tough, but I’m going to do my best to keep my cool & stay consistent. (their mother has very little to do with them, I think she’s on drugs, and the girls come back from visits with her depressed and moody.I don’t see that relationship improving anytime soon. That’s been their biggest hurdle. We don’t trash talk "mom", just love & support the girls when they are with us.)
written by Karenmum, 20 January, 2013
I have an extremely beautiful 13 year daughter who gets constant attention for the way she looks. On the outside she carries herself even gracious but there is this whole other side. I took her mobile off of her because of the constant text messages she was receiving to send naked photos etc. of herself. I took her off face book because of the constant bullying, I find myself coming to her defense constantly,which in turn is ruining my relationship of 10 years with a wonderful man who has had enough and has disengaged himself from her. The things I found she was up to on these underground chat sites making out she was a big drug smoking alcoholic slut. She has posted very risqué photos of herself and of male appendages stating she had the best boyfriend ever. I found a half drunk bottle of alcoholic apple cider in her wardrobe while looking for washing. I don’t know how to handle it every time I confront her with these issues she runs away saying we have given up on her so she has given up on herself. If she could just understand that the world is at her feet and that she doesn’t have to put herself out there like that but I think she likes people to think of her that way. I think she is way over curious with the sex thing and unable to control or hold back on her urges. She currently goes to counseling but I believe she has the wool pulled over their eyes. I am scared that I cannot hold her back any more, as she gets older she becomes more deceitful and I always seem to find out what she is up by pure accident. I only found this Tumblr site she has been on whilst cleaning out my computers history and went in to see what it was. I was so shocked to see the things she had posted, also disgusted. I don’t know what else she is hiding, I quit a great job so I could be at home and be a mum for her, I sold my car so I could send her to a private school where there is no bullying, but she is doing nothing to help herself. I am scared that if others find out what she is up to her life will be a nightmare again, but she doesn’t seem to care.
written by Tdoc, 21 January, 2013
I write too many words. I am a therapist. I don’t think inside the box. For therapy, I always need to find out: does this person know everything they do or not. Clearly, most people know what they do. But, a few million, around 3% of the population, do not. There are several diagnosis for dissociative disorders. The most famous one used to be named Multiple Personality Disorder. In this form of dissociation, a person may do something without remembering it. The person may be so embarrassed by not knowing what happened, that they will admit to what they are accused of rather than argue and sound crazy. So, they often seem to be lying. Family members may notice they don’t hear you speak to them sometimes and may blank out and stare into space. You may hear them talking to themselves when they are alone (not Schizophrenia). Possibly talking to an angry part of their mind or a child part (not crazy). Dissociative people are likely to have anxiety, insomnia, often nightmares, sometimes panic attacks, and depression. They are likely to get diagnosed with Bipolar disorder (it is not Bipolar) because they change moods. But, dissociative people change almost instantly. If it was in slow motion, you would see this: something happens, the little child inside the mind instantly feels shame or fear, etc., then the angry part of the mind comes out to defend the little child. From the inside if feels terrible and the angry alter has sworn to himself never to let anything bad happen to the ‘little one’ again. To you, from the outside, it looks extreme and crazy, happening for no reason. And, the main part of the person’s mind doesn’t know what happened either, so the child says, "I didn’t yell and throw things." "I didn’t do it." I say all this not because dissociation is the most likely cause of a child lying, but because few professionals screens for dissociation, and so it can go untreated. Dissociation is one cause of apparent lying. It is only one possibility. Many people think it only happens to one child in a million. If you think you might be dealing with dissociation, call around for an expert in diagnosing and treating it. Be aggressive in your questioning them, so you get an experienced therapist. An expert will have treated 3-15 dissociative patients per year. Because, it doesn’t happen to just one in a million. It happens to 30,000 children in each million (3%).
written by Rahim, 22 January, 2013
I have the same problem too...
written by Kid who needs help!, 06 February, 2013
I have lied a lot in my life. i am 13. i have tried to stop lying but nothing works. i have been caught so many times that i am realizing that it is a huge problem. I need help please!!!
written by ashland vb,15 feb. 2013, 16 February, 2013
look i am so sad because of how i say lies that i don’t want to say.i love my mom and dad and i just got into some bad lies. i am 13 and i lie a lot in my time and it i want people to forgive and not lie. its not fun to see your parents nag at you for things you make up that’s not right god made us in a good i am going to pray for my parents forgiveness, and god, also for you to drop every thing and tell the truth and for me.
written by Insanityisoptional, 25 February, 2013
The lying children in this home use it to rip their parents apart
So they can rule the home and the parent individually. It’s disturbing and
Disgusting ! I did not raise and we do not deserve this. Their father is spineless
So I get to be the villain in all their eyes since I refuse to
Take this lying down. Attention kiddos that whine about how horrible
Your parents divorcing is or how they should divorce because of
The way it is. Take a really long look at some of yourselves
And your actions for self gain. In many homes you are the reason
They do or eventually should divorce. There is a price for getting your way
The wrong way we pay it but hello so do you.
written by Lost and Alone, 04 March, 2013
December 15th was the last time I lied to my mom until today. And it was something so simple, ice cream. This lead to us arguing and fighting and me getting kicked out the house. I’m only 15, i believe I have CL and I want to change because every time me and my mother fight i feel like i should go kill myself, trust me i’ve thought about it so many times before. its only hard for me when my mom doesn’t listen or hears me out and the problem becomes much bigger. i want to change so bad because i’m tried of living life like this, i need to change but don’t know how to and i’m afriad that if i don’t change soon i will end up in a hospital bed

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