Take a Look Inside >> Broken Trust: Overcoming an Intimate Betrayal

A book by a founder of this site.

If You Want To Learn The Truth, It Helps To Forgive Mistakes

As noted, everyone holds expectations about how their husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, should behave.

In fact, romantic partners and spouses place a lot of expectations on each other (see Millar & Tessar). People have expectations about how their partners should spend their free time, behave at work, act in social situations, and so on.

And for the most part, people try to live up to their partner’s expectations. In general, people do not like to disappoint their romantic partners. No one seeks out disapproval—we desire acceptance and want our spouses and partners to like us.

With that said, however, no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and falls short of their partner’s expectations from time to time.

When this happens, it is important to forgive people for their mistakes and shortcomings (see Millar & Tessar). If you constantly remind a partner of their flaws or slip-ups, they are likely to hide similar things from you in the future.

For example:

If your spouse has too much to drink one evening, and you constantly bring it up, odds are good that he or she will try to hide similar behavior from you the next time it happens.

On the other hand, if you forgive your partner for what he or she has done, you are much more likely to find out about similar mistakes in the future.