A book by a founder of this site.
Some Final Considerations On Getting A Partner To Be More Truthful
If you consistently use these strategies, people will be more likely to tell you the truth, but up to a point. For very serious issues, such as infidelity, partners are likely to lie no matter what you do (for example, see husband won’t confess).
And while using these strategies is likely to get partners and spouses to be more honest and forthcoming, they come with a price.
First, the strategies are sometimes hard to follow—they may require you to behave in ways that run counter to your true feelings. For instance, it is not always easy to forgive others or react calmly when you are really upset. And doing so can even feel a little dishonest. There is a fine line between getting a partner to talk and being honest yourself.
Second, knowing the truth is not always pleasant. While knowing the truth may allow you to make better decisions in the long run, it does not usually bring a lot of immediate rewards. Knowing the truth is difficult and uncomfortable. The truth often hurts (see truth hurts).
People who are out-of-the-loop, but do not know it, are usually happier than those who are in the know. Ignorance can be blissful (advantages of self deception).
So, it often helps to consider whether you really want to know the truth before you pursue it.
- lying and deception – articles, links and resources