All Secrets Revealed by Date

My past cheating is eating me up

Saturday, 15 July 2017
Made a Mistake

I cheated on my then girlfriend now wife with an old fling in a weak (and alcohol-infused) moment while she was out of town a couple of years ago. I took my fling home and had sex with me in my girlfriend’s bed. The next day I was terrified that I was gonna get caught so I cleaned the whole apartment 3 times, changed the sheets (and blamed it on a coffee spill). The reason was because we had a "bad" period in our lives and a couple of months later had "the talk" but agreed to give it one more try.

I’ve also the last couple of months began to buy webcam shows from webcam-sites, and I just feel disgusted with myself right now. I logged in again today and a girl even recognized me (or well my username since I’ve bought shows from her before).

We are now married, bought a house and are waiting for our first kid and I can’t shake the feeling that this is all based on a lie. I love my wife to death and I hope she never finds out but this is eating me up from within. The strangest thing is that I’ve gone like 3 years without giving it much thought but since there’s so much going on right now I think my anxiety is bringing this up and making me feel like I don’t deserve the amount of happiness I actually have in my life. I have control issues and this feels like something I can’t control right now, even though the girl I cheated with did the same thing to her ex (not with me though), and she never told him.

I’ll end my account on the webcam site, and probably delete the fling from social media as well since I can’t really have her popping up and reminding me about it all the time. She’s getting married now as well, and now seems like a good time to do it, since we’ve talked on and off since my affair.

My lies keep me from getting close to others

Saturday, 15 July 2017
Lies a Lot

I am a liar and always will be. I’ll never form close attachments and even those who believe they’re close to me right now don’t know everything about what I’ve done. It’s draining on me and will eventually lead to my early death I assume but I don’t think I know how to stop or why I’m doing what I’m doing.

Cheated on him before moving in together

Saturday, 1 July 2017
Made a Mistake

I have been with my boyfriend now for 3 years. We are looking at moving in together in the next couple of months. I am super stoked about it but a few months ago I cheated on him. It was a one-night stand. The guilt is eating me from the inside out. How do I deal with this? How do I move in with them and marry him in the future when I feel so guilty for what I’ve done. I know for a fact I can’t tell him. That would be the end of our relationship. It was a stupid drunken mistake that will NEVER happen again. I have been reading all these articles on how to forgive yourself but I just don’t see how that is possible. I hate myself for doing it and hurting him without even him knowing. Cheating in my eyes is the most disgusting thing and now I have to live with what I have done. I don’t know how to get past this.

A crush led to cheating and now heartache

Saturday, 1 July 2017
Relationship Issues

I had a crush on this guy at my church for about 3/4 years until my friend started to pursue him. I went back to my old boyfriend and things moved on. Over the years this guy and I had chemistry and became really good friends although my infatuation with him increased while he was oblivious to it and oh so charming!

I am now engaged to my then old boyfriend, it’s been just over a month. However, over the last few weeks, the other guy (let’s call him; Romeo) decided to entertain some thoughts with me. We discussed how we had always been attracted to each other and how we both thought about what it would be like with the other. Before any damage was done we decided to get some distance. It wasn’t long before we were talking again and planned to meet up. A week later it happened. He picked me up after midnight; we drove around and talked about what was happening. Then we hooked up. I was so conflicted and I kept pulling away. But curiosity got the best of me and we fooled around a bit before deciding to completely cut ties. A week or two goes by and I’m dreading it! I even started smoking again! I couldn’t stop thinking about him and that night and whether he had feelings for me. But wait! I’m engaged to marry my best friend! My best friend who knows all of me, all my secrets... except this one...

Finally after two weeks we saw each other in a mutual setting and it sparked something. Later that night we started to text and catch up over lost time. Admitting we missed each other’s company. It wasn’t long before I was over at his place. We drove around and finally just parked up and discussed again (like the first time) “what’s going on?”... this is wrong I can’t believe we’re sitting here together right now… and then it hit, we were hooking up and touching each other like we were the only ones around. Obviously. But what I mean is, I forgot momentarily that I was engaged and I was cheating! What the F!! I had fallen for this guy. But as he said, “I’m a free spirit, I’m not ready for a relationship. I’m attracted to you but I don’t have any feelings”... ok... well I do... we get so close to having sex before something in me just snaps. But not enough to stop entertaining each other. It was almost sunrise so we drove around and went our separate ways.

The next morning I go to church and he’s having coffee with my partner. I go to greet both of them.... one on the cheek and one on the lips.. I’m sure you can work out who was who... what the fcuk have I got myself into ?!?!

We didn’t talk at all. And after a gym sesh with my “therapist” I decided to text him and cut it off for good. Until he didn’t respond and my mind went crazy. I hated that I had developed these feelings and he was free to just move on. I know it was wrong! But I also feel like I played myself.

When he did respond we both agreed it was time to move on. After all, we are part of the same circles and he “has love for both of us” wtf... cause I asked if his friendship with my partner would change... he says nah it won’t but I’ll have to keep my distance for a bit... to which he says—you got a good guy, don’t let him go to waste… wishes me all the best and “hopes I’m ok”… but I’m not. My head is a mess!

I want this to die with me. I’ve only told 2 of my girlfriends and I feel so conflicted! But it’s not worth losing my husband to be over.

I messed up. I don’t know what more I can do but I definitely need to take this to the grave. Till then, I’m praying for short-term memory loss to take away this guilt. Thanks for reading and I hope you can see my mistakes and run as far away as you can if you ever experience the same thing! Because one moment Of pleasure is NOT worth a lifetime of regret and pain.

Dating a married man for three years

Saturday, 1 July 2017
Infidelity

I have been in a relationship with a married man for three years. No one in his family knows about me. My friends and family know that I am seeing someone, but very few know the truth, or that we met when we were both married.

I’m tired of being a secret. It hurts to keep such a big part of my life hidden.

My husband’s affair has led me to a dark place

Saturday, 1 July 2017
Revenge

My husband of 15 years cheated on me with a coworker 11 years younger than me. His affair lasted almost two years. Before officially ending his affair... he lied several times about truly ending his affair... during this time he got a second phone and pretended to be working on our relationship. Thinking about his lies and how devious he was still makes me so angry... even now when he is seriously trying to rebuild our relationship. It angers me that it took him physically transferring to another worksite for him to finally end his affair.

Sometimes I feel like I hate him.

I think about the ugly way he treated me during the beginning and throughout his affair and I feel a deep disgust for him. Especially because it was him who was always after her... like some desperate puppy dog. I have mixed emotions... sometimes I feel like I love him but this love is not the same... it will never be the same.

I know since he has shown that he wants to be with us that I need to give him a chance but I am in a place where I want to be with someone else... I want to have sex with someone else and I fantasize about it constantly. I have even opened up pen pal and dating accounts but I end up canceling my accounts because no matter how screwed up my head is right now… deep down I know that I couldn’t start an emotional affair with another man. I love my husband and hate him at the same time. It’s a horrible feeling and I wish I could move past it to a better place.

I deserve better than my cheating husband

Saturday, 1 July 2017
Relationship Issues

My husband had an emotional affair with a 21-year-old girl, and didn’t inform her he was married. After a month of searching, I found more secret friends he kept from me. All women. He looks at other women too... right on front of me. We are attending therapy, but I don’t know if I can pull through this. I love him. I adore him. I deserve better.

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