All Secrets Revealed by Date

Dealing with crushing guilt over cheating on my wife

Sunday, 18 December 2016

I’ve been keeping a huge secret from my wife for the last several years and the weight of it is now starting to crush me.

My wife and I met when we were in high school and have been together for the last 15 years. About a year after our relationship began I cheated on her with another girl. At that point it seemed innocent enough, we were young, and I certainly didn’t expect that 10 years later she would become my wife.

That pattern continued and over the next several years I cheated with a few other women. I always felt a little guilty afterwards but also kind of enjoyed the excitement. I’m not sure what changed, but ever since the last time I cheated I have been overwhelmed with guilt. It’s been almost 4 months now since I last cheated and I’m still obsessing about all the mistakes I’ve made in my marriage. I don’t think there is any chance I’ll get caught unless I confess. Thinking about the mistakes I’ve made gives me so much anxiety. It would hurt her so much if she ever found out, and that would be so hard to bear. The thought of telling her what I’ve done makes me feel so awful, but I don’t know how much longer I can live with this guilt. I feel like I’m stuck, I keep reliving the past, and don’t see any way out of this exhausting and all consuming guilt.

On and off sexting during my marriage

Sunday, 18 December 2016
Relationship Issues

So I love my wife deeply, and I never ever wanted to or needed to cheat anywhere else. After we got married our marriage went bad fast. We argued all the time and never had sex. I was thinking about getting an annulment.

I was contacted on twitter by someone in a similar state. We both didn’t want to leave our partners, but felt completely isolated. We sexted each other for a few weeks. She would send me very explicit pictures and fantasies. I would send PG pictures occasionally and respond to her fantasies.

She pestered me for a long time to send her a dick pic. I didn’t want to but after a row with my wife I snapchatted her a 3 sec pic.

After that I knew things had gone too far and ended it all. I went to my wife to discuss our marriage and we both made efforts to sort it out. I didn’t tell her about the sexting.

4 years later I was pestered by someone else from twitter who started sending me pictures. At first I was just polite about the whole thing, but eventually ended up sexting with her. She would send me very explicit pics. I would only send PG pics back, never full nudes or genitals.

This was on and off for a few months until I started to get really fed up with it and did my best numerous times to make it stop. I ended up meeting her a few times. With the final time getting drunk and her getting a very quick kiss. I knew immediately that it had all gone to far and I never saw her again.

Everything stopped. I was relieved and grateful for it to be over. In therapy I then learned more about why I had done it in the first place and really grew as a human.

My wife never found out and it has been over 9 months since a message was sent. However, I just found out that sexting is classed as cheating and now I really don’t know what to do.

I never wanted to be physical with anyone. Although I did kiss her, it was a quick drunken smooch that I would forgive anyone for.

So now I don’t know what to do!

Suffering from his fear of commitment

Sunday, 18 December 2016
Relationship Issues

I found out he sleeps with escorts and I am terrified to ask him if that’s why he won’t commit to me.

As time passes I feel less guilty about cheating on my boyfriend

Sunday, 18 December 2016

Over a year ago I cheated on my boyfriend of six years. We are young and I met someone I connected with on a different level. It felt good to have someone pay that much attention to me and to feel something new and exciting. As we talked and saw each other more, we started having a more romantic connection. He knew I had a boyfriend; they even met and hung out together. One day we decided to take things to the next level and we had sex. I felt like it made things awkward after that and I was no longer interested in him in a romantic way. I wanted to remain friends. The guilt of doing this haunts me everyday. I don’t want to tell my boyfriend because he means the world to me and I fear losing him over a dumb mistake. I will never cheat on him again, I don’t plan on telling him, but I fear the guilt is going to kill me. I love him so much, I always tell him everything, and he’s my best friend. We are engaged and the thought of telling him crosses my mind often, but a little less as time passes. I made the mistake and now I have to live with my actions. He shouldn’t have to suffer because I’m an idiot. Whoever is reading this, thank you for reading my secret.

Anxious over telling my girlfriend that my ex was nearby when we met

Sunday, 18 December 2016
Relationship Issues

So I met my current girlfriend in a foreign country. What she doesn’t know is that my girlfriend was living in the same foreign country at the time that we met, although I had broken up with her before anything happened. Our relationship just did not work out. We stayed together in that country for four months while my ex was about an hours train journey away. My current gf knew I had a gf when we met, and she knew that I had broken up with her. She just did not know where she was living at that time. I met up with my ex-gf in that country but only once and before I met my current gf. We did not see each other again until I had moved back to my country of origin.

I met with my ex-gf when I returned back home by accident. We spoke about our relationship, but I have told my current gf this. I feel guilty that my current gf does not know that my ex was living in the same country when we got together.

I feel like that country was special to us and it would feel weird to say that my ex-gf was also there. She has told me things like "if you cheated on me, but it was a one time thing I would not want to know". I have never, nor would ever, cheat on her. I believe that this is nowhere near as bad as cheating. I suffer a lot from anxiety and over-thinking, and I am not sure if I need to tell her. I am not sure if telling her would actually relieve my anxiety (I worry about my health, future career etc.).

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