All Secrets Revealed by Date

Back with my ex and lying to her

After breaking up with my girlfriend I began a relationship with another girl, which was happy in places but was not nearly as nice as my original relationship. After about 6 months we broke up and I ended up in contact with my previous girlfriend, and it became clear we still loved each other. I wanted to be honest with her and told her I had been seeing someone else, but she was extremely jealous and sad, even though I learned she had also been seeing someone during this time. Consequently I couldn’t bring myself to admit that I had been seeing this girl for 6 months and lied, saying we had only been together for 2. I feel incredibly guilty and anxious about lying, especially since my ex girlfriend and I look as if we might get back together again. She keeps asking questions and I am terrified she is going to find out that we saw each other for longer, but I couldn’t bear her jealousy if I revealed this. I wish she would just forget and stop asking questions, but I am consumed with anxiety. I love her, but I don’t want to always feel guilty and afraid that our new relationship is built on a lie.

Chemistry with a married man

I have been having an almost year long affair with a married man. I never thought I would have an affair; the chemistry between us is off the charts. We started off harmlessly flirting then friendly texting that turned to sexting then that turned physical. I feel guilty about it but I can’t seem to stop myself. We see each other 4 to 5 times a week and talk almost every day. I already know it’s going to end one day and I will be hurt but I accepted that risk when I agreed to enter into this.

His porn and my cheating

I cheated on my husband a year ago with an old high school boyfriend (I hated it but like the way he told me I was beautiful). I love my husband with all my heart -- he is my best friend and was so stupid filled with weakness as our marriage felt lost. I ended it felt better for a while until I found out about my husband’s porn addiction and he would do it every morning before work and check out woman all the time and be consumed with sex. I was angry with him but no reason to be because what I did was worse. I need help my guilt is ruining me. I can’t tell him about my affair. I can’t cause him more pain; we are in a good place now except my guilt is consuming me.

Lying about my job

For the past 2 years I have been lying to my boyfriend. The result was sleepless nights and terrible anxiety every time I decided to talk to him. It had been 2 years since we came across each other online and it felt so good to meet him and everything felt so exhilarating that I did not see the harm of telling him that I had a job. The situation was in turn my biggest regret because for the next couple of months I would be caught in multiple lies (including the one I had just shared, which just required me to change it to a less compromising one on the spot, which he unfortunately believed) and had resulted in him feeling suspicious about me. By now I have no one else to blame but myself as I face the recent nights in bed with my stomach in pain every time I decide to look at the computer screen, my self conscious tells me I should tell the truth but I fear that window of opportunity has now closed. I look to this site for a quick way to relieve my stress, and I ponder about telling him still even if it will completely devastate our relationship.

I Fell In Love With Someone Else

I still love my wife of 20+ years, but we’ve been distant for 10 years in many ways, especially physically. About two years I began working with a woman I really clicked with, and for the next several months I took more joy in being at work than I did at home. She and I did nothing, said nothing, just worked and talked about everything from God to Goldfish crackers, and over the days shared more and more of our private lives away from work. I fell in love. I didn’t want to, I didn’t try to. In fact, I fought it like all hell, I am a married man, and I have no business being in love with someone other than my wife, no matter how bad our marriage may be at this point. But I did. This was made worse by the fact that I knew my co-worker was in love with me as well. I knew from day one she was attracted to me, not by anything she said or did, but there was that...energy...in the air between us.

Anyway, the struggle went on for about 8 months until we stopped working together. I didn’t see her for about 3 months, and we met for coffee. As soon as she walked in, I knew that all of my bluster and bullshit was just that: bullshit and bluster, because I loved her. I had for months, I had missed her horribly, and my heart was in my throat the whole time.

A few months later, my time became very free as my family was away, and we met for coffee again. At that meeting I told her that she loved me, and by the end of the afternoon she had essentially admitted it—and we were together every day after that...just talking. Within a couple days, she openly said that she loved me...and hearing it come from her lips gave me the courage to admit that I was in love with her too.

I left to be with my family about a month later, our forbidden love still held entirely at bay physically; and here I sit several months later, with my family, my marriage teetering on the brink of divorce. Wanting it and being afraid of it—not wanting to hurt my wife in any way, but wanting to hold someone else my remaining years. She and I "talk" online nearly every night, and the stress is absolutely fucking killing me! It also plays hell on the two of us and our "relationship" such as it is and suffers in ways it would not were we out in the open and together.

I don’t know how long I can go on waiting for my wife to call this to an end, and still not wanting her to do it. Wanting to be with my love hundreds of miles away, but afraid to go for a divorce myself—I have a young daughter who means everything to me, and I can’t afford to do anything that would see me fighting to remain in her life.

It’s a mess, a huge ridiculous flipping mess—worse than any soap opera plot—and it is killing me with depression and anxiety. I don’t even believe at this point that I can really truly trust her...and I can’t bear to not be with her even so.

If only we could actually control our emotions rather than just our actions... Love sucks.