All Secrets Revealed by Date

Feel guilty about my multiple, one-night stands

I was at a company party in New York City and I met a new male co-worker. He was drinking quite a bit that night but I hardly drink. Later, we went dancing together and finally back to my apartment. I didn’t want to have sex with him but we did. I even stopped myself in the middle of the encounter but then continued. I hardly knew this person and knew that although I loved the attention he gave me, he wasn’t someone I wanted to be with.

The next morning, I pushed down my thoughts and feelings of shame. I told myself it was fun and that I enjoyed it. I even bragged about the night with friends.

But the next day, I felt guilty; especially when I told my mother about a guy I met. I told her everything except that he went back with me to my place. She asked, "What else happened?" and I said nothing. I wasn’t forthcoming and felt dishonest. I’m not altogether sure if that was a lie or not. I don’t live in New York City and so I won’t see the co-worker again. We work in different offices so it was a one-night stand.

Then I had to admit to myself that it was the fifth one-night stand I’ve had and four of them were in one year. I feel promiscuous and slutty. It hurts knowing that the co-worker wasn’t interested in getting to know me, even though I’m not either. It hurts that I let my ego get bruised. It hurts that I debased myself. It hurts that I feel used and that I also used. I used him to feed my physical desire. I prefer to be in a relationship with someone and not do that with strangers. I’m struggling to forgive myself. It’s been a month and I’m still hurting. I take longer lunches, lie in bed all day and want to forget all other responsibilities outside of work. I feel depressed.

I just pray that I can forgive myself soon. I recognize and understand why I did the things that I did. I let loneliness get the better of me. I was fighting the temptation all week before the encounter with my co-worker. All week I was fantasizing about sex and searching for potential men to fool around with. Then the right opportunity came along. Next time, I will not make myself available to fall into temptation that will make me feel bad the next morning.

Thinking about cheating my way out

I feel so stuck. And no way out of my relationship, I don’t know what to do I lie ever day that I love him. I refuse to cheat but want to. I want him to catch me so he can leave me. Or me to catch him.

Never divorced nor stopped seeing the other guy

I started a relationship immediately after telling my husband that I wanted to separate/divorce. We never did get divorced and on and off throughout the relationship with the other person I said I wanted to get back together. My BF and I broke up and my husband and I planned to get back together only I didn’t end things with my BF completely and that has been on and off. Oh and my boyfriend thinks I did get divorced but I never did! Now for the past few months I have been trying to entertain them both, seeing my ex-BF and telling my husband we are getting back together. It’s awful and exhausting and I hate myself and I want out!

Cuddled around

I have a boyfriend, but I cuddled with another guy. I was really exhausted at the time and not really thinking about it. Nothing happened, but I still feel super guilty about it. I don’t want to tell my boyfriend because he would probably break up with me if I did. And I know this is never going to happen again. And I know that there’s no way he would find out from anyone else. So what’s the point of ruining a great relationship over one little stupid mistake?

Love with someone who treats me like dirt

I am so in love with my best male friend. I am married. My guy bff doesn’t like me like that. It hurts so bad. He takes me for granted and makes me feel so bad. I am his doormat. He uses me. He wants too hang out if he benefits. I think of him all day everyday. I have a great husband at home but I love a man who treats me like shit.