All Secrets Revealed by Date
Made out on the dance floor
After being with my girlfriend for a few months, I went on a holiday away. We met a couple of girls who were around to have a good time—my single friends were interested in hooking up with them. One night we all got drunk and I made out with one of the girls a few times on the dance floor. To spite my single friends, to prove I wasn’t tied down to my girlfriend, to give me an exit plan on my relationship... I think about why regularly. It may seem insignificant, but now I want to propose to my girlfriend of three years and it weighs heavier than ever.
My version of compulsive lying (lie a lot)
I believe I am a compulsive liar. I read a story here with the title: from someone who has learned to live with a compulsive liar. It definitely changed my perspective. I can relate to this mans wife. I read about compulsive liars before, but there was never one example that had the same characteristics my situation has. I always knew I had the problem. But it was just when I started searching and reading about compulsive liars that I ever admitted it. I haven’t told anybody... yet.
Now, my story is this: I have been lying since I was a little child, and still am. When I was little though, most of the times my parents would find out that I was telling lies. Growing up, I have mastered it, and for as far as I can at least remember, no one has ever called me a liar. I am 20 years old. I have been lying to all of my friends, my cousins even. The only persons that I haven’t yet lied to are my immediate family. And this is clearly because they have been living with me and most of the time they know what I am doing. In cases where they don’t know, I tell small lies.
I generally lie in order to get attention, or admiration, or sympathy, or to create certain feelings to others. When I meet a person, I start lying so that he develops an idea about who I am. Of course, I cannot tell lies that don’t add up, but there are no real limits to the lies that I say. They can be small or huge. And I have actually found out that the biggest the lie is, the easiest it is believed.
Here, I want to point out, that the lies I tell are not always to create a good idea of myself to the listener. There have been times, when I have lied, so that the other person would detest me. I do not know why.
Like I mentioned above, I have never been confronted. When I admitted to myself that I am a compulsive liar, I imagined what I would do if I ever got caught. The answer then, was that I would get infuriated and I would try in every possible way to deny it. At the time I thought that it would be the worst thing that could ever happen to me. If denial wouldn’t work, I would then try to change the subject. If this wouldn’t work either I would attack with everything I had.
In the end I’d probably have to admit it, and I would be so ashamed!!!!
Now, if anything of the kind happens, and a friend is the person to confront me, I will tell the truth, and I will be completely ashamed. But, my friends love me for who I am. I might have told enormous lies over the years about me, but still they have lived with me and they know me. I would tell them myself, that I have lied all these years, because I figure that this is the only way I can stop lying to them. But they will feel betrayed and I cannot look at their eyes and know that I have caused them pain.
I want to explain a little bit the nature of my lies. I will give you an example. I tend to say that I have done things that I haven’t truly done. I describe with explicit details the whole process, and of course, it is believed. It has no reason not to. This way I find common interests and common experiences. I do not lie to manipulate. I lie to create the idea that I am a ‘better’ person.
I say I have done things I have always wanted to do, but never did, mainly because I am one of the laziest persons existing. Other lies are those that come out of my mouth for no reason at all. Even to the question what did you eat, I will 70% lie. This kind of lie is of no use and it serves no purpose. For instance of trying to remember what I ate, I say the first food that pops into my mind.
If you are not a sociopath, the only reason that you lie is because you fear the truth. Because you have judged that the truth, your truth, is not one to be proud of, but one to be ashamed of. I have nothing to be ashamed of in my life apart from the fact that I am lazy. Yet, I would prefer if my truth was different. Every time that I want to do something, instead of acting towards its materialization, I find it easier to lie and imagine that I have done it. Yes, I do have a very strong imagination.
Although, since I admitted my problem (to myself, only), I cannot rest in peace. I now find it tiring, although it has become second nature to me, and I want people to love me and know me inside out. I want to be able to have my heart on my sleeve. Now, when I meet people if they interest me I do not lie to them. Only, it is difficult not to lie at all, since we usually have common acquaintances, to whom I have already lied, and therefore the chances are that if I change the stories I will be discovered.
I will not pretend I have found a solution to my problem, but for all of you who are dealing with similar situations, please know this. It is within your abilities to change your life. And it is a good thing to change it, believe me. Confront your fears. Deal with your truth and if you do not like it instead of trying to think that everything is all right and you should come to terms with it, change it. I believe that this is the only way in which you can stop lying and not get depressed. At least, as of today this is what I will try to do. This, plus that I will stop continuing the stories already told.
This method I am proposing I know is not ethical. The ethical way to handle such a situation is to come out with the truth. But I am so deep inside the hole I’ve been digging, that the moment I speak the truth, only my closest friends will stand by me, and I will always have to give explanations. My lies are inexcusable.
There is no justification for any of them in reality. I want to make clear that in this confession, I am not trying to make excuses for the reason I lie, I am solely trying to share this information, my personal experience, with all of you who are searching for answers to your problems.
My ex tried to kiss me
I met an ex out for drinks when my husband was out of town. We got very drunk together and stayed out late. He tried to kiss me, I said I can’t I am married. I left. We haven’t talked since, nor do I plan to ever again. I lied to my husband when he asked what I did while he was gone. I cannot get the guilty feelings out of my head, I am obsessing over it. I didn’t do anything wrong exactly but I didn’t put myself in a good situation.
Think my wife and I are cheating
My wife found my links and cheating wife photos and stories on my computer. She was upset with me and insisted cheating was cheating and has no place in a proper relationship. However, I know she enjoys flirting with a friend of mine and occasionally with other men she has knows. She likes the attention.
For weeks she has continued to ask me about what she found on my computer. In addition to her objections she has noticed and teased me about the fact that I get very tuned on while she talks with me about all the things she has seen on my computer.
She has continued to object to the cheating aspect of it all. But, I started to notice she had been checking out my computer more often. I could tell by leaving my link history uncleared and when I came back things are often out of order. A few times she had left open her own finds about cheating wives and cuckold stories and videos, including one with the wife taking a lesbian lover.
A few weeks later, I think I discovered proof my wife had actually cheated on me with a friend of ours. We had planned dinner with him at our home when I got called away for work. When I arrived home much later that night, she had "accidentally" left her panties in the living room for me to discover after I got home late. I also found a wet spot in our bed when I joined her already sleeping. I think they know that I know. I got angry at first, then curious, and now I am constantly aroused by it, it’s the mental vision of her with him and the mystery and secrecy of not knowing it all. Lately, I have to work to avoid becoming hard when we are all together. They are becoming a little more obvious about it now, more openly flirting. I know, or at least I think I’m sure, she is becoming a secret slut for him.
She has also become increasingly close to a woman who is an open lesbian and a professor at a local private college. Her friend is an aggressive flirt with her, even and or especially in front of me; like the professor is showing off her influences she is having on my wife. They have spent several evenings out very late drinking wine and attending the theater staying out as late as three and four in the morning.
Right now she still insists that cheating is cheating.
Our relationship started out very honestly. I told her everything about my past. She also knows that all my previous girlfriends and my first wife cheated on me. She asked me to be very specific. So I told her every detail of my cheating girlfriends and wife, who was very openly seen with other men in bars and at private house parties with a tall, well built African American man who was a bass player in a very popular local jazz band. Lately she wants to know more and more about them and their cheating. She insists on me telling her all the details of how they accomplished their escapades. Every detail, including how I felt about it, which I think is obvious considering how turned on I get relating it all.
Last week while we were in a very nice restaurant at the bar when she asked me about my former girlfriends and ex wife. The bartender, a woman, was standing close enough that she could hear everything my wife said to me. Her conversation with me went into very intimate details I had related to her. Details that I had told her thinking no one else would ever hear. I tried to answer her questions very quietly but I noticed the bartender looking over the top of her glasses and stayed close enough to hear our discussions. Eventually my wife asked me if I would answer a question for her, mind you with the bartender still ever so close to hear her ask me. Finally she asked if I ever wondered if she was cheating too with any other men, or any of my friends, or even with that professor lesbian friend of hers.
I was shocked. I emphatically answered no. She then asked if I wanted her to be like them, and cheat too. I couldn’t speak for about a minute. I was stunned.
The bartender had now stopped any pretense of pretending not to listen and looked right at me leaned into the bar top waiting for me to answer. My wife just stared at me waiting for an answer. I was only saved only by the fact that we were called to our table. The bartender continued to stare at me and my wife leaned in close to hand her a tip. I don’t think they noticed that I saw their hands touch, and then held each other’s hands for a moment looking into each others eyes. Then I saw my wife give the bartender her business card as they both smiled longingly at each other.
We do have sex often, but I cannot get these images and notions out of my head. I think I need to let her take her time before letting me in on her secret life. Am I doing the right thing?
Don’t want to get married
My boyfriend wants us to be married forever, and have kids together. But I’ve been saving up to be sterilized since I was 13 years old (when I first heard of it), and honestly, the longest time I’ve wanted to be in a relationship is 2 years. Marriage is my personal Hell.
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My boyfriend’s sister’s husband seen me naked and asked of we can play with ourselves in front of one another. I declined him!! Cause I knew the level of disrespect I would be entering into if I made that decision!