All Secrets Revealed by Date
Messed around with my ex
How could I... While my boyfriend was out of town who I love very much, I had my ex (who is still my good friend) come over to play cards. He still likes me- I have ABSOLUTELY NO FEELINGS FOR HIM- well we got drunk and he started to make moves on me. I told him to stop he didn’t listen. I let him kiss me- and then he tried to have sex with me and I told him to stop!!! I feel so awful right now. I didn’t tell my boyfriend that my ex and I were going to hang out, so he has no idea. I love my boyfriend more than anything. I don’t believe in keeping secrets, but I know that if I tell him what happened it will be the end of us. I don’t want to lose him. I am ending my friendship with my ex- and I am hoping to put this behind me and move on with my life. My boyfriend is the man I hope to marry some day- why did this happen-I just wish I could erase this!!
Addicted to snooping on my wife
I had suspicions that my wife was keeping something from me and may have become bored with our marriage. I am away with work a lot. We have young children and she finds being a stay-at-home mother very frustrating. She is a good-looking, attractive, extroverted person who is very good at connecting with people. She has always told me that she likes having male friends as she likes the variety of conversation, as in not all about kids, laundry etc!! I checked her phone and Facebook Instant Messaging page and found correspondence with two different men which really hurt me. These were not sexual in nature but were much more intimate than I would have liked. I confronted her about the situation and, of course, she initially went crazy that I had snooped. However, I think she understood the depths of my anxiety and assured me that she has not been unfaithful. I believe her that she has not been physically unfaithful but am concerned at the level of emotional connection with one of them in particular. The other guy has the hots for her for sure but I do not see him as any sort of threat to me. While I believe her that she is just friends with these two guys, I have become addicted to checking her phone whenever I can. I know the code for her phone but not her Facebook page—if I did I am sure I would check that too. I have also followed her on a couple of occasions recently (never found anything—she did exactly what she said she was doing on each occasion). I desperately want to get on with our life but am unable to stop this madness. If I am caught, my marriage could well be over. I know that there is nothing to this other than friendship but I can’t stop snooping. I keep justifying it to myself by saying that I am just looking for reassurance that she is telling the truth. Please help me to stop and to get over this awful phase of my once happy life!!
Feelings of cheating are overcoming me
I met a man that I don’t even know. He emailed me some information and I emailed him back. There was something about his email that just struck me. I was running to my email to see if he replied. When he did, my heart began to beat fast. I started to fantasize about this man and I don’t even know him. I want to stop thinking about him. I believe in being faithful! I don’t want to ruin my family life and I want my children to know that cheating is wrong. So why do I want to tell this man how I feel and jump in bed with him??? I always tell my husband that if he cheats we are over! He replies that he holds me to the same standard. I reply, I hold myself to that standard. I just want these emotions to pass!
I am in love with a compulsive liar
I am in love with a compulsive liar. I have been friends with this man for over a year now and from the day I met him I knew I had feelings for him. When we first met we flirted a lot and were always hanging on each other, and shortly afterwards, I told him I liked him, only for him to reject me. It was difficult, but we actually became best friends after the ordeal. I met a man a little while after who is absolutely wonderful, completely truthful, and loves me unconditionally. I love him very much and we have been together almost a year now, but I still have feelings for my friend. Twist: My friend is a compulsive liar. I didn’t realize this until after we had become very close. It began with him being a master prankster. He would tell me overly complex and jumbled stories about jokes he had pulled on other people. Then he began to tell me about how he had a very serious anger problem where he goes into a white rage, blacks out, and then wakes up only to find many large objects destroyed and people injured, and cars flipped. After this he continued to say that he was a victim of scientific testing by the government and was put through exposure therapy to become a "destructive military machine" as he put it. One time he even told me a ridiculous story about how his ex girlfriend who’s name was, coincidentally, Ashley Simpson, killed herself by hurling her body in front of a moving train, and how and his friend John died of a heroin overdose, and that both of these events somehow cause him to not be able to express his emotions or trust people. I researched these supposed deaths to see if they were, by chance, even remotely true. They were not. I have ignored his lies over the year, pretending I believe him or at least not saying anything against them because I do not want to be rude or lose him, but I just don’t understand. He is an absolutely stunningly attractive man, plays bass and sings rather well(I have witnessed him do both of these things to know they are true), and is funny and kind and overall just a wonderful person, minus the lies. Why would such a great person feel the need to lie about their life? The most terrible thing about this whole situation is that, even through all of the lies, and even with a wonderful boyfriend, I’m still in love with him. I can’t get him out of my head. I have tried to avoid talking to him and we have gone months without being in touch, but I love him too much as a friend and just overall to let him go. When we see each other and spend time with each other it’s as though I completely forgot he is a liar, or maybe just that I want to forget, but I cannot. I hate liars and lying is my absolute pet peeve, yet somehow, defying all reason, it just doesn’t stop me from caring about him. When I am with him I have doubts about my relationship and sometimes want to simply end it all and just be with him, but I cannot allow myself to go through the pain of being with a compulsive liar. I have just gotten off the phone with him now, after him going into extreme detail about how he has "takeovers" and "breakdowns" as he calls them, whenever he gets intimately or emotionally involved with anybody or just when he thinks about his past, which are side effects from his brain being rewired during the governmental testing and exposure therapy he underwent. I believe that there is a morsel of truth to his lies, even if it is blown vastly out of proportion. I feel as though he probably has some sort of issues with being in committed relationships, and definitely has some serious insecurity issues, and hell, maybe he has mood swings sometimes that make him angry, even though I have never witnessed him seriously angry and certainly not violent. I feel as though he is simply taking minor issues he has and blowing them up in order to make himself seem more interesting or important, probably due to insecurity issues. I know that by ignoring his lies I am only encouraging them, but I also know that the only way to even possibly stop a compulsive liar from lying is to call them out, and if I do that, he will 1: be much to prideful to admit he is lying, and 2: become very offended and defensive about it. I do not want to start an argument that could end our friendship, but he is breaking my heart with what he does. He could be the perfect man, but he chooses not to be.
Other Options:
More Secrets Revealed – see what secrets people keep.
Benefits of Sharing Secrets – read why sharing secrets can be useful.
Cheated and hate myself for doing so
I had a 4 month affair that recently ended. The guilt, shame and self-loathing I feel is tremendous. That said, my spouse would be crushed so I need to keep this to myself. Telling would be to relieve the guilt I feel and would cause more harm than good.