What Signs or Traits Distinguish a Man who is Just Plain Infatuated with Me as Opposed to Being Genuinely ‘In Love’ with Me?

Great question.

When it comes to dating, there are some sex differences that can make it difficult for a woman to judge a man’s true intentions—is he really interested in me or is he just acting interested in order to get what he wants?

Men are more likely than women to fake interest in a romantic partner or fake being interested in being in a committed relationship. And to make matters more complicated, this can happen at both a conscious and unconscious level of awareness. In other words, sometimes men actually convince themselves that they are interested in dating, but their feelings soon change after they accomplish their hidden agenda (after they become sexually bored).

So how can you tell that a guy is really interested in you and that he is looking for a long-term relationship?

One of the best ways to determine a man’s true intentions is to look for honest signals. All species, including humans, rely on honest signals to determine what is authentic versus fake. Think of a peacock’s tail—it’s an honest signal of a peacock’s health (see honest signals).

How does this apply to your question?

Men, who are really interested in being in a relationship with you, will produce honest signals about their feelings for you.

Honest signals are costly to perform and cannot be easily faked.

For example, when a guy tells you how much he likes/loves you, or pays you a compliment, or talks about how interested he is in settling down—this type of behavior should be ignored. It is easy to say and does not necessarily correspond with his actual feelings.

On the other hand, if he introduces you to his family and friends, if he takes the time to cook you a meal, if goes out of his way to make you feel important—those are much better indicators of his true feelings.

In short, do NOT pay attention to what a guy says; rather look at the COSTS involved in how he treats you.

The more time, energy and effort he puts into making you feel special, the more likely he is genuinely interested in you.

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