Past Comments – How might a cheating wife stay in contact with the other person

Comments (18)

written by lovely lady, 11 April, 2008
Sounds like he knows what he’s talking about – I had a similar thing happen with my live-in guy and wonder every day if he’s still in touch with the woman and I believe he is, with a cell phone no. He thinks I don’t know about, etc. It takes a million dollars to find out what these people are doing and they will lie to you to get out of it – and I have no doubt the woman he was involved with , who is married, comes up with a lot of the ways for them to keep in touch. Nothing surprises me after all the lies I’ve bee told so I keep my eyes and ears open and will continue to snoop and if I find evidence of contact again, then I may have to do something, so my advice is beware, if you suspect it, it’s probably happening!!!
written by NADILUO, 01 October, 2008
Imagine, after 2o years with my wife, her teenage boyfriend came into the picture recently and they met in his hotel room. There, this so-called gentleman start to share with her all his past problems pertaining to tracing her whereabouts and missing her and sentences like "I WILL DIE WITH MY EYES OPEN IF I DO NOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU’. My wife being rather naive took the bite. Whether they were intimate or not, there’s no proof but I approached this man and gave a piece of my mind and I approached his wife too. My wife found about it and accused me of stirring up his family. GREAT! Do you really think so? And what about the pain and sleepless nights which I went through because of this issues? Readers, to me, if it’s true that he loves his family and that they are important to him, he wouldn’t had played his pathetic role behind his wife and try to get sympathy from my wife. He is just a cheap opportunist who happened to be lonely away from his family (SHANGHAI). My wife still believe whatever he said till today. But due to the 20 years together, we are trying to build back our relationship again and my wife told me nothing physical happened. Just a reunion of 2 old friends. When coming to such issues in life I will confront not only my wife, I will also confront the man and his wife. After all if he does not care for how I feel, then why should I care for how he feels. I know it’s bad to seek revenge but think of the logical side of it.
written by NADILUO, 01 October, 2008
truth or deceptions?
written by gitridoher, 05 January, 2010
I don’t think it’s bad to seek revenge, we all need an outlet for the rage that presents itself in these situations. My problem is how do I deal with the embarrassment of missing all the little clues they left behind! From now on, everything will be suspect. I don’t want to be taken for a fool ever again!
written by Parker, 05 February, 2010
NADILUO, you shouldn’t call your wife naive. You’re naive for believing her when she said she and another guy were in a hotel room and they did not have raunchy sex. Believe me, that guy and her had passionate/rough sex. Don’t lie to yourself. Either have an open relationship with her and you get to have your little "meetups" with women or call the whole marriage off.

I can’t stand it when I hear people say that they want to stay together because of the kids, or because they were together for 20 years. GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE! You made monogamy work for 20 years, good for you. Now move on to someone who will love you better.
written by stonereach, 14 November, 2011
The biggest part about finding out about my wife’s affair after 16 1/2 years of marriage (that it had gone on 2-3 years prior to finding out) is that I DO NOT KNOW THIS WOMAN AND I DO NOT DESIRE HER ANYMORE. I think she is attempting to be very kind to me for fear I may leave her. Nut my life with our children has been a LIE and REMAINS A LIE because she refuses to tell me the things I NEED TO KNOW so that I have SOMETHING which I can say she risked for our marriage. BUT SHE RISKS NOTHING and i don’t want her anymore. Also, the Man who did this must suffer BECAUSE HE DESTROYED AN ENTIRE FAMILY-I AM NO LONGER THE PASSIONATE FATHER I ONCE WAS AND HAVE DEPRIVED MY CHILDREN OF A REAL FATHER! ALL YOU ADULTERERS MUST BE KILLED so as to "sober-up" the others who are still "thinking" about doing it.
written by Rob71, 18 November, 2011
Hey Stonereach, I understand your feelings. I found out my wife had 3 affairs and there was 3 people I wanted to kill. Thank god I didn’t act on those feelings. She had another one. I jumped into the guys car and shook him up and scared the crap out of him.

We broke up and she begged me to take her back. The relationship was volatile after that. I am a wreck and fantasize daily about killing these people but I won’t do it. Not because they don’t deserve it because I deserve freedom and my kids deserve to have a father who is not in prison.

For a while I was a bad father after I learned of the affairs. I was so depressed I could barely function as a human being never mind be a decent father.

I gave her yet another chance and she kicked me out a year and a half later. She was seeing a married man. I harassed him over the phone until he confessed to his wife. Then we had a fight which was broken up by his son.

She begged me to take her back again...We have been apart but more or less dating for about 2 years now. I don’t know why I take her back and I still want to kill those scum but if I do that, then I ruin many lives not just the lives of scum. I have reached the conclusion that there are many people who live in this world that should have been the load their mother swallowed.
written by Afflicted hubby!, 26 March, 2012
I understand what you’re going thru! but plz leave that woman....
written by happy husband, 19 May, 2012
I don’t understand what the fuzz is all about. I was married for 13 years now, my wife had sexual relations with other men quite a few times. But she always came back and never made me feel neglected.

It is not easy for a single woman in her 30s to find a husband nowadays and the likelihood for a married woman is even less. The danger of separation is minimal.

My wife is extremely attractive and guys are interested in her. Receiving their attentions makes her happy. So why not? As long as she is happy and a wonderful and caring companion, I also am happy.

I fail to see where these strong and sometimes violent emotions come from.
written by rushman2112, 17 June, 2012
all I know is people are &^%^&$ up!!!!! the things men and women do to each other!!!!! unreal!!!
written by Spruce st, 25 June, 2012
It hurts like Hell! I’ve been through it and still feel lost
written by Spruce st, 25 June, 2012
Been with my wife 20+yrs. Started with guy calling the house. She lied about that until I called him back. We had a few words and I told him she was married and he said she never told him. They still continued on their relationship. She started staying out at the guys house not coming home. I thought I was loosing my mind. Eventually I left and she really showed out. I wasn’t to my destination before my son called and said she had the guy at our house watching movies! She would still call me playing games, hanging up and when I called back her cousin/uncle would say she’s at Walmart. Long story short I came back down and the next morning the guy came to the door good thing my son answered before I did. It’s been 6yrs. And I’m still here. Not sure what to do. I have moments when I bring it up and we go at it verbally. Someone help me out please. Thanks.
written by Help Is here, 26 June, 2012
Dear Spruce St,
You are not alone infidelity hurts everyone, I know I have been in your shoes several times I was beginning to think it was me. I have learned something over the years, It’s not me. Has she had contact with the guy since that day? Does she have unexplained times away from home? Does she have a cell phone that she keep private? My point is we all make mistakes even when they are this painful. The key is to learn from them. Even Jesus forgave murders and fornicators as we must learn to forgive. As I stated earlier I have been married 3 times only to end up with my first wife again I lost her. I love her more than life even after the affair she had. I found out where I went wrong as a husband an lover to make sure I never allow her a reason to want anything else. I also learn to let go of my anger and pain and put energy in loving her. I still have moments now, that is normal. I would never want to lose her again. Divorce is so high nowadays because people only see the fault in one party. If you love her and it’s clear you do... Learn to fall in love with her again. 20+ years is a lot to throw away. Pray every night for help moving on together it works. Also stay away from negative people and comments.
written by Marriage First, 26 June, 2012
You can get through this. It’s been 6 years you are stiil there.
written by From a Woman’s point of View, 26 June, 2012
Cheating sucks. Some get cheated on some cheat. I have been cheated on and I have cheated. This is what I know (my opinion). If a man is taking care of his business in the home and in the bedroom. no one i mean no one will enter the relationship.

Men get comfortable and forget that his wife is also his lover. Think about it. Some guys will only buy flowers when they have a fight, will only buy gifts on holidays. A woman needs to know she is more than a mother/wife/cook/maid/soccermom and in some cases FT employee. When a woman cheat it’s usually not for sex but it is because the guy she is cheating with is making her feel like a she is sexy and beautiful something most husbands after being married for a while forget to do.

When cheated on my husband, I felt like I was a woman. I felt beautiful, I enjoyed all the compliments and all the attention the other guy was giving me. I felt like I was a queen. I know that I was wrong and I hurt my husband really bad. He forgave me and we are still married (10 years later). I know he has times that he think I will do it again, but i assure him we have two kids and both work full time we need time for us always. My husband is a great provider and father not a good lover or romantic person, however he has learned since the affair to be a better lover and make me feel special. He show up to my job and take me to lunch, leave me sexy notes and text, kiss me often and he looks at me like I am the only one that matter.

I say all this to say being cheated on hurts, but you can get over the hurt. YOU CAN and you will. Start by doing these four things to get past it. 1. Make her feel special. (This will throw her for a loop, either she will respond or push you away. If she push you away STOP here.) 2. Stop bringing up the affair. (It’s been 6 years wait 10 years then talk about it. Release some of the tension) 3. Focus on building a new and stronger relationship. 4. You must be a open book for each other no more secrets. If you love your wife, really love your wife you will find a way to make it work for everyone. The affair actually made my relationship better and stronger believe it or not. smilies/smiley.gif
written by freeman, 19 July, 2012
it is wrong to assume you own a living person bcos you are married under oat, wake up world of freedom and love.No one can be caged alive.Marriage must learn to accommodate other beings without unprovoked aggression.Be humble and enjoy your life as a free-spirit
written by Sadness, 06 November, 2012
i was cheated on too. He told me all this a couple of weeks after having his baby. He told me he slept with 5 different women one including his x and the other 4 where random women. he has ruined me. After moving in together he told me he had to leave the house because he was not sure if he still loved his X he left me and are child and contacted his X smilies/cry.gif
written by torn56, 25 January, 2013
after 36 yrs. my wife had an affair. she only had to leave if she was not happy to say it was anyone’s fault is passive aggressive lie, you do what you want at the time. forgive if you can move on if you can’t

Other Options:

  • View all tags (specific issues)
  • View all questions listed by topic (broader focus)

I have my own question to ask

Truth About Deception – back to our home page.

 Original Article