My wife is acting like she wants out of our marriage

I have been married for almost 10 years.

For the last year or so, things have been a little rocky but I always felt like we loved each other and we had been trying to make each other happy. Recently I have had a lot of suspicions about her behavior and what she does with her time. I have asked her to be honest and shared my concerns. She denied anything for 2 months. Just 2 days ago now she finally admitted that she did mess around with someone at the bar but it went no further than making out behind the bar. This happened 2 months ago, right when I started getting suspicious. My concern has always been if she was sleeping with someone else and to me she seems to avoid that question or answer it with another question. I know there is no way for anyone on the forum to know, but am I right? Does it seem like there is still more to tell me but she just can’t? Is this normal?

WE have discussed separating, but she is the one that will bring it up. Everything for me is about the last 2 months. Something changed and I am really starting to believe she went all the way with someone and will not tell me. She has even suggested that I sleep with someone else, just so we would know if we are attracted to each other in that way anymore. Any advice would be great. I am a confused husband and father.

Response:

If you are generally not a suspicious person, but have suspicions now, then that is strike one. If you wife as suggested separating, that is strike two. If she suggests that you sleep with someone else, that is strike three.

It is impossible to know what is going on with your wife given the information provided, but it is safe to say that she is either interested in ending her relationship with you and/or exploring a relationship with someone else.

When people think about leaving a spouse, they often test the waters with someone new. They also bring up discussions about things not working out, trying a separation, or experimenting with other people.

It is probably in your best interest to confront the issue directly. Does your wife want to remain in the marriage? What are her issues? The best way to have these discussions is with a trained therapist in couples counseling. Trying to have these discussions on your own, without an independent third party, is generally a waste of time.

Your wife has given a lot of hints that she wants out of the relationship. Time to have a serious discussion with her. If she won’t agree to counseling, go on your own.

 end of relationship | suspect cheating

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