Past Comments – I am still in love with my ex-husband

written by vhrs, 04 March, 2009

gr8 response

written by s.m. c, 23 June, 2009

i am also the fool. I had to get divorced as my husband announced he had someone else. After he left i found out he slept with all my friends. I still cant move on, 3 years later im still in love with my ex. I would take him back in a heartbeat. Was with my ex for 22 years. Im a fool but i love him so much no man will ever match him

written by SHANIA, 03 July, 2009

GET OVER IT

written by Kepi, 11 July, 2009

I was so completely in love with my Ex when I divorced him (alcohol, drugs leading to sex with someone else-deal breaker for me). He was destroying himself, me and our life together. I stuffed it all away and did move on... even remarried and divorced again. We just spent 2 weekends together recently after 13 years apart (in a professional capacity) and just had an amazing time together. We are both older and wiser now and talked about EVERYTHING. A ton of healing took place, we both asked for and received forgiveness for the things we said and did to hurt each other so and we both realized how very much we do still love each other. I am currently single/dating-just-a-bit and he has had a girlfriend for 7 years. He said he cares deeply for her, she has really been there for him but he’s not in love with her. I asked why he hadn’t married her and he said he didn’t have the heart to marry anyone after losing me. It’s complicated but the bottom line is, I have never been in love with anyone in the way I have loved this man and I know the same is very true for him. I really did try to NOT be in love with him; to NOT miss him; to NOT think about him but he has always been there... saved deep in a my heart. Not sure what’s next. I do know I will not be involved with him at all while he is still entangled with her... couldn’t do that to another woman! Been there and it’s hell on earth...

written by tnit, 23 August, 2009

I was in an abusive relation ship with my ex for over ten years. He has made me cry more than I probably did as an infant. I asked God to help me get away from him. but the second I left him I started to remember the good times we shared and most of my friends are in his family. we have children and all of my memories as an adult include him. he has remarried and he still tries to sleep with me. when ever I see him I cant stand him but, when I am at home alone in the night all I do is think of him, miss the good times we shared, think of how all of my plans for the future included him. it hurts me to see him with some one else I know he would take me back in a min but I also know that he will never change because he thinks nothing is wrong with his behavior. the problem is when I am with some one else I cant love them no matter how hard I try My hart is with my ex and he in no way deserves it.

written by tamara :), 28 January, 2010

My husband and I dont have much left to carry out with our divorce. we are both in relationships but are both still very much in love with each other. I think i’ve liked the idea of letting him go but truth is, im so in love with him.. i’ve kept my distance and have shown him that im still here for him. he called me and expressed to me how he’s been feeling about now being able to wake up to me and his children like he used to. i have been going on dates with him and we’ve had the greatest times. i think that now our love is more appreciated by one another. i feel the need to let my current boy friend go simply because i am very much in love with my ex... so confused..

written by moud, 03 February, 2010

hi... i am in the same situation, after i married my wife who has three girls, i felt soon that her heart is not for me but i refused this idea and when i checked things like mails and her phone i found a disaster she still loves him though he did horrible things to her, loved on her slept with another lady and refused to give her any rights and still plays mind games on her and she is silly and naive enough to believe him again and again... i got a chance to marry another lady who loves me and who wants to make up for me but i found myself refusing her as i love my wife and i love her kids, but i am in pain, i offered her ex husband to return to her he excused.... if he really wants her back he would seize that golden chance i gave to him... i faced her with that she confessed but asked for another chance i agreed as i know she is deceived but her feelings fail her , do really ladies love the kind of men who lie on them, control and use them? , do ladies hate kind and devoted men?i love her but i decided to give her time if she will still love him not me i am going to leave her and put my heart under my feet

written by you, 23 February, 2010

i still love my ex and he cheated on me and is having a baby with another woman. all i can remember are the good times when i am wallowing in my self pity. i take responsibility for my part and wonder -- what could we have done to save the marriage? how did we get here? i should have done things differently....i miss him -- rather, i miss what we had when it was good.
but... there is no going back now. and based on my read of the above situations... there is no going back now. we just have to shake it off. and, as for me... i just pray i can love again like i did before and that i can find love again. we’ll see. best of luck...

written by GWilly, 13 March, 2010

Hubby and I were married 13 years, 2 kids and roller coaster relationship...lots and lots of great times but also lots of trauma...separated 2003 for 6 months, he dated someone for 3 months of that time, I convinced him to come back and forgave him. Things were really good, then I got breast cancer....things went down hill after that. I shut him out and he stopped trying. I left house and started dating an old friend from high school....he thinks I left him for this man...he moved in with a woman too. This has been all in the span of one year...I split up with this man about a month ago after I realized that I still love my ex. Now he is having problems with his girlfriend and I think she is moving out....he’s told me that he loves her but he’s also told me in the last few weeks that I was his best friend and the only person he’s ever trusted. He’s adamant that there is no chance of him coming back to me this time but I still feel like he does love me but that he’s just deeply hurt. Am I crazy?? Does anyone think I still have a chance? How do I get him back? He tells me he misses his family, he’s told me he’s scared, but he won’t give me any hope...I don’t know whether I’m just fooling myself....

written by joyous julie, 09 April, 2010

I have been through the same thing. My husband left me and said he was stressed and sick and needed space & the whole time he was seeing another woman and still sleeping with me.
He said he never wanted to leave me but when I found out he went to the other woman & ended up staying with her. He has now left the other woman and wants to come back to me but I do not trust him. Any advise would be appreciated.

written by sue 1971, 24 April, 2010

My ex partner and I have been split for a year now, we were together for 17 years and have 2 children together we always remained friends. 2 months ago I found out that he had been living with another woman for 6 months and kept it secret from me and the kids. I was devastated as he always told me he still loved me. Since I found out we have been sleeping together and he’s stayed over once, he also takes me out for a drink regularly. We’ve talked about getting back together, I want to and he said he does to but wants to take it slowly, he refuses to come home, wants us to move somewhere else and make a fresh start yet he still lives with this other woman whom I think he was cheating with when we were together. He says there is nothing going on between them but it’s killing me knowing he goes back to her every night. I constantly cry, I can’t eat or sleep, I don’t know if he’s just keeping me sweet so I don’t tell her. When I ask when is he leaving her he says soon as I’ve sorted things out. He says he doesn’t love her so whats the problem. I’m so confused and heartbroken.

written by Dad., 26 April, 2010

I have read the about posts. I am too in a quagmire but perhaps my experience can give some insight onto what a ex dad feels. And help you identify.
I am going to admit some things here.

My wife, soon to be ex had been married 10 years. and I carried on with a deal breaker. Drugs, drink, and cheating. Till she got fed up. We have two children, a girl and a boy, who love daddy and miss him very miss; and I them. I regret that in my behavior I did what I did to the woman I love. I was selfish. But the marriage is over. And for the sake of the kids perhaps there will be a friendship down the line. Because of a no direct and indirect no contact order it makes it difficult for her and I to talk. She says she is not bitter. I do love her. she is the woman I had kids with and I trusted her. But I do know why she cannot trust me.

She thinks I am with the mistress and no one else is telling her different. Well I am not and I applied myself to change.

I have hope and a deep sense that she and I were meant to be together. It is hard on adults as it is emotionally on children.

Those that say "get over it" too readily will be jaded and really did not have the deepest sense of attachment to that person in the first place. At some point an open mind has to be established before communication.

Do we as men regret our behaviors? Can we change? Some say yes. I know this writer truly does. I had to figure out what it taught our children. And then looked deep within myself. Truly is this the woman in my life I have hurt almost beyond repair. The one I truly want?

Perhaps I am the hopeless romantic. Perhaps I want my kids not to be a statistic. Perhaps that through all the turmoil and trauma I believe that if it was worked out together and unresolved issues can be brought. There will be a basis for trust. It is harder to work it out apart from one another, and move on that nagging unresolved issue will still be there. When do people stop running away? When do they stop being a coward and masking the feelings and emotions and substitute it with something or someone else? When do we say stop. Lets resolve this and figure out before we make a call on relationship. Trust.. well... at some point we have to stop hiding and trust and open ourselves to trust them again if we do indeed love them.

written by Marie08, 24 May, 2010

I divorced my husband after 24 years. He’s made me cry more than smile. I still love him and always will.

I just don’t want to cry anymore...I’m moving on because I deserve to be happy!

written by helpp, 02 June, 2010

I’m in so much pain right now...I met my husband over 13 years ago and this year would have been our 10th anniversary. I left (with our 4 year old son) over 1 year ago because of verbal abuse on his part. We both made mistakes, but at the time, I was stay-at-home Mom and knew I couldn’t take it anymore.
I moved into apt w/ our son, went back to work and got thru it all. I saw changes in my husband and we started "dating" again. I fell in love all over again and last week he called to say he didn’t want this life anymore – please proceed with divorce.

I am DEVASTATED. He loves our son and spends time with him (for which I am thankful) but we were spending time as a family and making plans as a family. I am so broken that I feel like I can’t go on...if it weren’t for my son, I don’t think I could go on.

this sounds "pitiful" but it really hurts.

written by wofchub, 24 June, 2010

I filed for separation & divorce back in October 2009. I moved out of our house on Oct 27. I could not go through a divorce and live together any longer. I have been with my husband for over 13 years & we have 2 young children together. He started dating in Dec 2009. I tried to date but found myself very unhappy and uncomfortable doing that. I found out that my husband was dating someone from his work in Feb and I became very upset, angry and helpless. He came to my house one day in February and asked to be together physically and as much as I wanted to I just could not. He was seeing someone else (maybe even sleeping with her). That made me very sick to my stomach. He moved his girlfriend and her son into "our" house in March. We share custody of our 2 children and on April 4 he introduced her and her son to my girls. This was so confusing for my girls. My youngest became withdrawn. I was so angry with my husband to not even see what he had done to his children by doing this so quickly. In May our youngest became very sick and had to be in the hospital for many days. It was not until then that my husband I were able to talk and realize that everything we had gone through was dictated by other people other than us. We cried and told each other that we love each other. We even made love that night. Two days later our daughter was released to go home. Although I was very happy my daughter was feeling better my heart was in my throat because my husband was going home to someone else. It has been 39 days since we talked in the hospital and we have talked about getting back together. I am 150% sure I want to work on our marriage. I am in counseling and support group at church. However, my husband said that he is scared that we will end up like we were. I know that cannot happen if we want to make this work. We have been physical 5 times, kissing, and tell each other we love one another each time we see each other. Yet his girlfriend has no clue what is going on. She even has his name tattooed on her low back (she is 47 with 2 grown kids,a teenager & 8 year old> who does that and why? I want to tell her that my husband and I have been physical and talk everyday. My husband said that he is in limbo and wants to work on our marriage but what if it does not workout between us....his girlfriend has done nothing to him to let her go. He said I am pushing too fast and we need to slow down. I cannot think of anything else...what do I do?

written by Ironman, 30 June, 2010

I have read like all these post here. For the ones that are in some really weird ones, I know it sucks when people say that you need to move on. But in truth you have to, you don’t really need to move on with someone else, just move on with yourself. That’s what I’ve had to do. Strangely, my separated wife still loves me and misses me, though she still wants to see this divorce through. God women are crazy sometimes. You either want me or not. I don’t think she knows how good she had it. She had a good hard working husband that never was abusive in any way, was faithful, took care of the kids and even cleaned around the house, not to mention blowing her socks off when it came to sexy time. Only reason we’re apart is because we hardly saw each other. Maybe I was too good of a husband.

written by miserable only for now, 06 July, 2010

this is for all you women who take back or still love a man even though you know he is not good for you. my ex would pick fights w me so he could do whatever he wanted and to get his way. The next days following he would beg forgiveness give me flowers, write me letters. I would feel bad, remember the good times how we laughed or fun things we did together. I graduated from school after being out of school for more than 20 yrs. He wanted to take me on vacation to jamaica. we went the fourth day there..he drugged me, reaped me then hours later tried to kill me by punching me in the head face and eyes and nose..all the while keeping one thumb on my throat chocking me..all because i confronted him with what had happened hours earlier (i still dont have clear recollection of a 4 hour time frame..only had the proof that ran down my leg)ladies please know you are smart, funny and beautiful..you follow that feeling in your gut.. I didnt and it almost cost me my life!)

written by Dear Hellp...., 16 July, 2010

dear hellp......

I read your post and it really resonated with me *( I was in that same type of situation....if you would like to talk email me This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it > This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

written by monet, 21 August, 2010

I don’t really understand it. Why do I still love a man that has hurt me soooooo much. I knew him in high-school and married him 2 days after my divorce was final after a 23 year marriage. He was persistent and got what he wanted, when he wanted. I wasn’t ready, but also didn’t want to be alone. Our marriage was shakey and through the good and the hard times, I fell very much in love with him. Depended on him. However, the trade off was not the same. Somehow, he made me feel as if I had a lot to learn and a lot to change. Very controlling. I no longer had the confidence that I once did. Why do I still feel like I need him in my life. I miss him. I want to be loved by him and nobody else. I don’t understand this. What is wrong with me?

written by kimmy, 30 August, 2010

I guess I’m not alone...there are a lot of women going through divorces and raising their children on their own...Sometimes you just feel like you are the only one in this situation, when in fact there are many more

written by Rosee, 13 September, 2010

I like the response to the above letter. It gives me a lot of relief to just take care of myself and not try to invest time, emotions and energy with my ex husband even if I still love him. He disappointed me a lot, he cheated during the marriage, shared a joint credit card with his mistress that she charge it for a lot of money without my knowledge. He even bought house with her without my knowledge and not that only. I discovered after five years marriage that he has another son he did not tell me about him before the marriage.
I would like to reply to "moud" : No I am a good woman and I wish to meet a good, honest, kind man. Even if I have feelings toward my ex I need to ignore that and try to meet new people and hopefully I can meet a man appreciates me.

Please "moud" take care of your present wife she does not deserve to be hurt because you still love your ex wife. I am talking from my painful experience.

written by Ivy’Sha, 18 September, 2010

my husband divorced me last year. and me, still love him and he took my heart away! it’s hurt when my 4 year old daughter said there’s an aunty at dad’s house and my heart broken into pieces. an ex wife still feel for jealousy. I went crazy and confront him. He honestly (i felt) said she is just a friend. Since that, i have trust issue and insecure. Finally, i decided to stop having communication and contacting him. Better off-contact rather than seeing those pain. I choose to missing him rather than hurting each other and ruined what we had. i need friend who goes thru the same situation like me.

written by ConfusedAsEver, 12 November, 2010

I’ve been in love with my ex since I was 21. He helped me get out of a bad relationship and we were together for four years. During this time, we never lived together but spent a lot of time together and it was wonderful. I began to think things should have been progressing faster, but they didn’t. He liked to go out drinking and had one to many female friends, so I decided that I needed to move on.
I met my husband while I was still with this ex. We dated for two years and then got married during our third year together. We’ve now been married almost eight years and have a 17 month old. During my entire relationship with my husband, I’ve continued to think about, dream, and ponder about my ex. I left my husband during the summer because things weren’t working out and now I don’t think I can return to the life we built together. I can’t even be with him and these nagging feelings and dreams to go back to my ex are growing.
Over a month ago, he "friended" me on FB. We’ve been talking and texting and a lot of healing has happened. Every time I talk to him I feel this intense happiness – one that has been missing (with the exception of my child) in my life for a long time. He says he missed me more than he ever missed anyone and wants to see me and I really want to see him too. I just don’t know what to do or where to go....

written by too many regrets, 19 January, 2011

Wow, I cant believe how many people are in the same position as me.

I was with my ex husband for 5 years – he was verbally abusive and all my friends hated him. He ran off with a woman he worked with, and that hurt me more than I would like to admit – what did she have that I didnt?

Anyway, time moved on and I remarried ten years ago and have three beautiful girls with my husband. the thing is, I still wonder what HE is up to – I know that he married the woman he ran off with, and I know that they are no longer together. But does he ever miss me? Does he ever wonder what I am doing? Not a day goes by that I dont wonder what he is up to – I guess a first love really does never end.

written by gu, 17 February, 2011

Well, I just went through a horrible three year divorce, when my ex did just about everything possible to break me, mostly by trying to destroy me financially and restrict my access to my children. I divorced him because of his constant lying, which left me without confidence, or any sense of self worth in the relationship. Over the last three years, I have become a stronger, happier, and more spiritual person. Instead of hating my ex, I now love him again. This is extremely confusing sometimes. But, I love the part of him that is a father to my children, and the part that I shared a lot of wonderful times with. If you still love your ex, it means that you have forgiven and forgotten a lot of pain and suffering, and that you can see the "light". That does not mean that you should run towards it though!!! It means your heart is big and open, and now you can be more selective in how you share it. Loving someone does not necessarily mean being together. It means letting them live their life and being happy for them, wishing them well. I am thankful that, most of the time, I can feel at peace and not have hatred or resentment controlling my thoughts and actions anymore. Love is much better. Be grateful if you still love your ex!

written by dawnserrano, 25 February, 2011

I still love my x and we have been together 4 yrs since the divorce! There was a special force in the separating with 10,0000 dollars! I loved him but he took me for granted! Now there is a new found respect! I want to get married again but he is.....I will work on that! But I still love my man! Nobody can take his place!

written by desperategaby, 07 March, 2011

I miss and love my ex husband so very much.. We were together for 8 years, we have a little 3 year old girl who adores her father and misses him so much She is the only reason why I can go out of bed in the morning, I feel so depress and so empty if it was not for my daughter I will just stay in my bed everyday by myself.
I feel I gave everything into this relationship probably much more than what it was worth it, I gave my soul completely to it, I accepted him back 13 times, after physical and psychological abuse, after other women, after lots of porn, after he completely isolate me from every body, after he tried to kill me.... I feel so destroy, it has been a year and I feel as if I’m running out of fuel. He has move on.. even left his work and came back to study his PhD. He does not help financially because he does not has a job anymore since He is a student now. After all this I still miss him to pieces and I feel so attach to him, I feel I belong to him. He is so manipulative he does not let the hurt heal, he comes back every now and then and is extra sweet and loving and then after some days of being that way he becomes a monster and is so cruel and abusive again. He does that so he is sure I’m not moving on with my life and so he is sure he is still in control. I know how he manipulates me but I feel so out force I cannot keep on fighting him.... I really do not understand how I could end up like this!

written by Alexis Reavis, 16 June, 2011

Been divorced 15 years with a 18 year old Daughter. We really had great sex and I think thats all we really had. Very jealous and controlling, but I think I liked him being like that because it made me feel special. Remarried now 9 years and daughter lives with me and new husband. Slept with ex husband between boyfriends up until I meet new Husband. Never cheated on new Husband but now my daughter lives with my Ex and
I have not had much contact with him in years and the graduation party brought back a lot of old feelings I was messed up for weeks after that. Because I Know he still loves me. We are friends and he respects my husband. I dont want to cheat on my new husband but I really truly love my ex still. I know if I was single it would have happened already we would have slept together. I am holding back because I know my new life is so so much better then my past life. I think I have emotions because my daughter lives with her dad I wish. We could have had a life together for her. But my new Husband is so so much better. Its going to take time to heal the separation between me and my daughter. Luckily we are only 10 mins away. By writing this its helping me realize my Ex is so so bad for me. Any thoughts or similar situations. AR

written by Morena, 28 June, 2011

I myself have been divorced for the past 7 years my ex-husband left me for another women. At the time he left me we were going through problems but we were still seeing each other,but then this women to whom he is married walked into the picture and she took him away from me. I blame myself for losing him,he had cheated on me 4 years into our marriage he got the girl pregnant just after I had given birth to our son. I stayed with him because I didn’t want my kids to be without their dad. As the years went by I felt I could not love him like I use to I never gave myself time to heal so I told him I needed time to see if I still loved him I asked him to move out and he did but for the next 7 months he kept bothering me to take him back I was being stubborn and that’s where I messed up. That women he is now married to started to talk with him and he started to date her at that time I had told him I wanted us to try and make things work,but he said he couldn’t take a chance in me hurting him. He has been with this women for 6 years and I finally remarried after two failed relationships I have a son with my new husband and he has a son with his wife. I thought I was happy and in love with my husband now,but after seeing him recently he stirred up feeling I thought no longer existed. I am so confused I want to be happy and move on but I can’t I still love him. He says he is happy with his new wife yet when I have called him and told him how I felt he told me he knew I how I felt but we had to move on. How can I move on if every time I call him or text him he let’s me know he is there for me.

written by Saige, 16 July, 2011

I still love him, we divorced 4 years ago and he remarried the lady he had an affair with. I’ve been with someone else since then and we recently broke up for the lack of respect the new guy had for me – I believe NO ONE could love me like my ex did. But I blame mostly myself for the divorce. I was selfish and even a little mean: not helped by my own mid-life crisis. For his part, he should have let me know in no uncertain terms that he was unhappy before telling it to some other woman who was after him.

But I have learned. I have also practiced being loving every day since my heart was broken (open) and I realized what I’d done. Maybe I’ll never get him back or even someone who could be as loving as he was, but I will die trying to deserve that again. It broke up the family completely, but he retains my siblings and relatives as "friends" and even my brother is friends with them -- which really hurts. There is no loyalty in my family whatever.

But I want him to be happy. I think he could be happy with the new me but two things have to happen. He has to be unhappy with her and he has to see that I am different now. To that end, I can’t be happy with myself until I have worked on myself enough to deserve the kind of love he was giving me all along.

written by TATUNG, 14 August, 2011

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR FOR PAST 7 YEARS AND WE STAYED TOGETHER FOR ALMOST 12 YEARS. BUT MY WIFE DECIDED SHE WANTED TO BE SINGLE AGAIN AND CALL A SEPARATION FROM OUR RELATIONSHIP. I DON’T UNDERSTAND; I LOVED HER HER AND CARE ABOUT HER SO MUCH BUT SHE DOESN’T SEEM TO KNOW OR HAVE FEELING FOR IT. I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED ABOUT THAT AND ALL THESE YEARS I HAD PUT UP OR SPEND UP MY TIME WITH HER. ALSO WE HAVE 2 TWIN GIRLS, SHE IS TAKING CARE OF THEM NOW BECAUSE HER INCOME IS MORE STABLE NOW. I AM TRYING TO FIXED MY LIFE NOW BECAUSE I WENT THROUGH DEPRESSION AND SADNESS. I STILL REALLY DO LOVE MY WIFE SO MUCH BUT SHE KEPT TELLING ME SHE DOESN’T LOVE ME ANYMORE, IT IS SO SICK AND MISERABLE WHEN HEARING THAT. I HAVE TRIED SO HARD TO KEEP OUR RELATIONSHIP ALIVE WITHOUT ENDING IN A HORRIBLE WAY. I NEED A LOT OF SUPPORTS FROM RELATIVE, FRIENDS AND OTHERS TO HELP ME TO BE BETTER OFF OF THE WORLD AND THINGS AROUND.

written by dannygirl, 25 August, 2011

I not sure what Im going to get out of this but I have mixed feeling I so want things to be the way they were but I dont think they will be here goes.....I was with my husband for 12 yrs separated now for 2 yrs but we still sleep together even thou he has a girlfriend......I know its wrong but Its hard when u still love him I walked away cuz he always thought I was cheating and I wasnt I dont think he cheated on me but I dont know that for sure we had fights all the time cuz he thought I was and I wasnt but now he is cheating on his gf I ask him do u love her he says yeh so I ask him y r u cheating on her then he tells me cuz of the sex that we had was always good with me.....I so dont understand what is going thru his mind every time we get together he says he feels bad and asks me if i do I tell him no Im still ur wife we r not divorced yet....im not going to lie sex is the one thing that never died in our relationship when thou I we were growing apart after 14 yrs and still the same spark is there... so please someone anyone help me what the hell do I do?

written by Stacia, 24 September, 2011

I know how you all feel. Why am I so in love with my husband after everything he has done. I need prayer.

written by labby, 13 October, 2011

I am going thru a divorce – about 1/2 way thru it now. Things were not good for a long time. I was actually going to leave when we were dating and then I got pregnant. We decided to stick it out, got married. We lived on HIS terms (meaning he did what he wanted all the time). After 7+ years of marriage, I met someone else. This person was the topping as to the many reasons I wanted out. So I filed, thinking my husband wouldn’t really have that big of a deal with it. Well, me filing was the big push that HE needed to see he was living life w/ the wrong priorities. So now, he has shown me that he is changing to be the person he should have been all along. Now I’m done though. It’s killing me to know that I don’t love him like I should for the way he feels about me. Our whole relationship has been us on 2 different pages and it still is. I’ve been secretly seeing the other guy for over 8 months and he makes me feel better than my husband ever did. I feel horrible that I lie to my husband. My STBX husband doesn’t understand how I can be done if there isn’t someone else. I can’t break it to him that there is someone else. I am starting to really break apart at the seams here. I’ve created a HUGE mess for myself now.

written by Eds, 27 October, 2011

hi there! you’re not alone..after 2 yrs of not seeing my ex all of a sudden i missed him...not just missed...i still feels that he still owns my heart...damn all this years! ;( when i found out that this girl who was just supposed to help him out to make his stay here legal use his name. boom! since then i feels my heart gets ripped everyday....every min...i hate this! but good for u girl at least u still have communication with him...but me? i dont know girl maybe u just make your move and pls tell him you’re still in love with him...i hope i could do that too...sonner...

written by Skip@daLu, 26 November, 2011

Sometimes I get upset because I find it hard to trust after my ex cheated. I sometime wish someone will hurt him like he hurt me. I care for him but I wish he hadnt hurt me. But it doesnt bother him he is happy or is doing well pretending to be. I just wish I would allow myself to find someone else. I am scarred

written by headline :), 28 November, 2011

For all the men who have written and are doing a transformation in you’re lives from your heart on out, i can say thank God and continue doing so.
I am divorced going on 4 years now. I was the one who put divorce up do to years of destructive behavior, deception and complete differences. But as the years have gone by i have done a self check on what i did as well. I wasn’t always the victim and the "perfect" spouse no one is. I did take part in the "bad" of our marriage as well.
I’ve asked for forgiveness to my ex husband, as he has also then takes it back and then apologizes some more.
As his behavior seems to change from bad to worst and i find myself dealing with a passive aggressive person I found freedom in forgiveness.
Not only him but forgiving myself and changing myself. I wasn’t perfect in marriage and i’m not a perfect single parent but as I walk with God i’m finding healing, rectification in my life and peace. Sticking to laying out a firm foundation for my life and that of my son. And keeping it genuine and daily with Jesus. Plus, I hope my ex husband will see that we have no right to play victim in a divorce. Pick ourselves up, accept we fail and seek God for guidance and a better future.

For the people with children, a good start will be a healthy start for their future as well.
When i got married, i wanted it and planned for it to be forever...but it wasn’t. So now keep humble, keep learning and keep seeking God for a better future, whatever it is.

I hope all you find happiness and peace. My love goes out to all the single mom’s and divorced women with confusion and heartache. There are reasons things happen, even when they are bad. Seek a good future for you (and children if you have any) and if your ex husband was meant to be, sleeping with him and getting more emotionally attached won’t let you have a clear mind. Believe me!

God bless all of you!

written by WC, 16 January, 2012

I feel so validated and a little fearful too.
I left a bad marriage 9 years ago and married
The man that was there to pick me up the minute
I left. Now I’m 5 years into marriage #2 I have
Had now 3 affairs with my first husband and
I’m ready to leave my current marriage. I have
So much love and attraction to my first husband
I feel it is not fair to my current husband in which
I have lost all love and respect for due to some financial
Situations and selfish acts that have happened
Now I just don’t know where to go. I do know I have
To let my first husband know how I feel I do
Believe he feels the same but is very guarded.
I don’t believe in happy ever after but I know
Where my thoughts are and who I’m happy
Spending my time with....
Thanks

written by oklahoma, 19 January, 2012

Even after 6yearss i still love my ex, And i have dated some, But he is with someone now and hes good to her and i think why could he not been good to me to, Our kids are grow up and we have grandkids it so hard seeing him with someone,I just wish i new what to do to get over him, Its like i cannot fell in love with any one because i so in love with him still; what do i do we was married for 25yeaars it like i lost with out him.

written by Unconditional love, 09 February, 2012

I am in the same situation. It’s been 7 years since me and my ex broke up who I have a son with. Since the first moment I saw him I knew he was the one I would love my entire life. We have both moved on to different people but I never stopped loving him. He has 2 kids with his now wife and I have one with my husband. I have fought this feeling ever since I found out his wife was pregnant from her first child with him. I was devastated because he never stopped looking for me or stopped telling me how me and his son were the best thing that ever happened to him. Up until this day when we talk he still says he never stopped loving me. I don’t reciprocate because I want to avoid any type of damage this can cause my present relationship. I care so very much for my new man and would never betray him or disrespect him with my ex but this feeling is very against what my mind wants to feel. I fight it every day but when he calls I still feel those butterflies I felt when we first met. This holds me back from being immensely happy with my new hubby. I hate that I feel this way and I know that it will be like this until I Die. ;(

written by wont say, 14 February, 2012

I have been divorced from my cheating husband for 10 years, we have 4 children together, he has never been very caring father nor was a great husband, but then, I believe we fought most of the time. I re married twice after but still love him. His relationships have not worked either. although I am married to a kind and caring man, the love not there. I believe I will die loveless because he was my soul mate regardless of the bad times.

written by disgruntled husband, 16 February, 2012

This is the group of people that made the perfect dinner, but then felt the need to stick it back in the oven and burn it. Nicely done. Have a lonely day.

written by Aunti, 05 March, 2012

Lol to the last comment an apposite response

written by Why do we love who we do?, 01 April, 2012

You never forget that one great love, even if that person you loved was bad, even though it ended for very good reasons. No one should be with anyone, no matter how much you "love" them if they abuse you, cheat on you, etc. Many people, for many reasons, get attached to the wrong person and can’t understand why they still love them. One of life’s weird, big mysteries.

written by Rosie Williamson, 15 April, 2012

I have been divorced from my ex for 18 years. On day at his parents house dropping off the kids we finally talked. we talked for hours about what had happened. I so wished that we could have done this 18 yrs ago. We had 3 girls and after our divorce we both remarried and his new wife did not like our girls and he was fine with this , He told them that they were his old life and that he would only be seeing them when she said so. Totally his lost. I was so angry with him. Anyway 4 years later we still talk and he now has a great relationship with our girls , but he is still with her and I am still married as well.He says that he feels nothing for her ,but when he needed someone she was there so that he owes her. He tells me that he loves being with me and that things are good when we see each other. Well things have gone beyond that now and I am falling back in love with him.He now lives with his mother thru week and returns home on the weekend. He says that he would be happier with me. I am afraid that he is getting the best of this , cause of having both. I have tried this week no to talk to him at all and I am afraid that that is only hurting myself. He tells me that he still loves me , but I don’t know. Any suggestions

written by Sharen, 24 June, 2012

I was with my ex for 35 yrs. I met him when I was 14 and we divorced in 2006. We did the complicated thing for three years after that. He was abusive from the get go, but for some reason we were able to build a life together and a business and raise four kids. Although our youngest died in a car accident in 2008. After our son died, my ex was over my house everyday wanting comfort from me. I did not know that he had a girlfriend. We talked about reconciling and I was willing to give him another chance for the millionth time. Then I brought up that maybe we should go to counseling to work on the problems that brought us to divorce and also that maybe he should consider moving in with me since he was at my house all the time anyway. He left my house after that conversation and he never called me again and two months later his girlfriend moved in with him and they have been living together ever since. We never talk or see each other because he never attends any family functions anymore. His girlfriend that lives with him is our oldest son’s sister-in-law, and neither he nor our oldest son have a relationship anymore either. My ex has also put on about 80 pounds. I try and date but have yet to find someone special for me. I will always love my ex (I don’t think true love ever dies) but I could never live with him again nor do I want to be in a relationship with him. I never call him, although I want to often. I became a singer/songwriter after our son died and wrote a song about my life and domestic violence. Here is the link on Youtube. Although I know I needed time to heal after so many losses (I lost my dad three yrs ago too) I hope God blesses me with meeting someone to share my life with.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YqXwVM_frg&list=UUaeOV0cxMupYJPL2ea54IYg&index=21&feature=plpp_video

written by The other woman’s side, 24 July, 2012

I’ve read all your posts and I want you to try to consider what it’s like to be the ‘other woman’. I met a man online and after talking for nearly a month we had our first date. It was love at first sight. The moment I laid eyes on him my heart began to pound and he literally took my breath away. Our first kiss felt like I had never been kissed before. I am 45 and he is 50. We began to see each other nearly every day except weekends while he spent time with his children. I did meet them as their dad’s ‘friend’ and he met mine. We went to each others homes, met each others friends, attended church and bible study classes together. It was the most amazing whirlwind romance I’ve ever been in and I had never been happier.

Now fast forward six months to the day he confessed to having a fiance that lived 2 1/2 hours away and where he was really spending his weekends. I was devastated. I felt used and dirty. My heart was destroyed by this man who is studying to be a pastor in our church. His fiance finally did find out about us but that didn’t deter her from moving ahead with the wedding. She’s now moved to our town and attends our church. It breaks my heart every time I have to watch them stand at the alter together hand in hand. I feel as though I wear a scarlet letter on my chest as she’s had no problem pointing me out to others as the ‘other woman’ while forgiving the man that broke his commitment to her.

Yet, through all of the pain and devastation, I am still in love with the man I thought he was and cannot move on. He still calls, texts and emails me all the time and tells me he loves me but because he ‘met her first’ he has to honor that commitment. They are getting married this Friday.

So please don’t be so hard on the ‘other woman’. Many of us have been betrayed by your man too.

written by confused in north carolina, 07 September, 2012

I’m another one that really just doesn’t understand it. Why do I love a man that has hurt my kids and I sooo much. I am madly in love with my ex-husband we where divorced January 2012 and he just remarried September 1, 2012. It hurt me so bad. I cried for a week when I found out he was getting married. We where together for 6 years and have a 1 son together and I have another from a previous marriage. During the time we where together he abused pills and alcohol and stole from his family. He was very mentally abusive, he is one of the best manipulators I have ever known in my life. He would not work, cleaned out my bank accounts, pawned everything I had of value and still sees nothing wrong in what he has done. When he pawned my childrens DS’s I bought them for Christmas in 2010 I made him leave and told him that he needed help. I wanted him to go to rehab. He refused to do that but still came around too sleep with me. Then he calls to tell me one day that he met a girl and moved in with her. We where still married but separated at this time. I blatantly let him know that I loved him and wanted us to try and work things out but he told me to get over him and move on because he never loved me and only stayed with me because of our son and that we where getting divorced and not getting back together. So after debating with my situation a month later I decided to file for divorce because he had made it clear he was not gonna clean his act up and come home, but like I said he just got married last sat. and it hasn’t even been a year since our divorce. I still cry and miss him terribly I love him soo much and only wanted him to get help when I made him leave i never meant it to be permanent. Sometimes I wonder If i made the right decision by making him leave but deep down in side I know I didn’t have a choice my kids where going without and we had nothing left. It has taken all this time to get back up on my feet. Also, I have tried dating to see if it would help but, it does nothing for me. I just don’t know what to do..... I’ve heard before you can’t help who you fall in love with. I guess its true.

written by yoga, 19 February, 2013

Hoping for someone who doesn’t want you really makes you feel...helpless...sad..