Past Comments – Things were great but after having kids my husband cheated

written by Anna D, 25 February, 2011

I’m having about the same issues. Been with my husband for 15 years. Married for 12 and we have two small children. Access to the Internet on his phone 24/7 has made it easier to look at porn, gay porn, chat to local women, and serf the causal encounters on creiglist. I don’t think he has cheated yet, but I think he will soon. I already tried packing the kids up and leaving to prove the point this wasn’t acceptable. It dint work though. He promised he will stop talking to other women but I check his history in his phone and see he keep visiting craiglist causal encounters and I see he set up a new email account that I cant access. At first this all shocked me. I was so hurt and crushed I almost drove myself mad, but after I got done feeling sorry for myself I started to think about me and less about him. I enrolled in a online school to get my 2 yr degree. I started going to a gym three times a week. Now I’m considering permanent birth control and a tummy tuck. I tried to get him to be honest me. I even suggest we can try swinging or threesome as long as he was honest with me, but he just cant do it. So I think I’m going to just monitor his situation. He is going to do what he wants to do and there is nothing I can do to stop him. So once I do find out that he has met some stranger off craiglist I’m going to let him know, then tell him our sex life is done. We are very comfortable with each other and if I didn’t know about this secret of his everything would be perfect between us. So I guess I’m going to try to continue this life, it is however the life I always wanted (except the cheating) and just end the sex with him. I’m not ending the sex for a punishment,but for my own protection. Not only does he want to sleep with other woman, but he has a interest in tranny’s as well. I may give him all the years of my life but I will not let him give me a STD or Aids. I’m sure he wont be happy with me not putting out for him anymore but once he knows that I know that he is cheating, can he really blame me?

written by AprilW, 11 January, 2012

I cannot relate to any of this because I am not married. However, my father was unfaithful to my mother and I came to know of it when I was very young. Over the years I have seen the sadness and stress an uncaring spouse creates in a home. I would not wish it on anyone. Some relationships can survive infidelity. But if you determine that you are not able to save the marriage and you are unhappy, make a plan for leaving. Remind him that he is also putting the entire family at risk if both of you were infected with an STD. If you got pregnant again, an STD can cause great damage to an unborn child. But don’t forget that children can pick up on sadness and unhappiness. It can have lasting effects. Initially, many people say stay together for the children. If you stay together, make sure your home is a loving one. Weigh your options and make a decision. Peace of mind is priceless.