My boyfriend won’t breakup with his other girlfriend

I am living abroad and I meet a guy who has a girlfriend. He spends a couple days together with her and that’s it.

I met him in July. He kissed me after 5 days and we’ve been dating since then. Everyone knows about our relationship, except for his girlfriend. He is acting like we are in a relationship. In the beginning this situation wasn’t a problem for me because I didn’t have any emotions.

Then he asked me if I want to spend the rest of my life with him and that he loves me. That was the moment it got emotional for me as well.

His girlfriend is thinking about coming back fulltime in November, and I am thinking about texting her about us. But I don’t know what to do. I think he is afraid to leave her, but more because he doesn’t know how to and what to do.

I don’t know what to do. We see each other every day and I’ve tried to break it off, but in the end I fell in love with him and now I cannot leave it. When I told him everything is over he always comes back and tries over and over again until I cannot stay away from him.

If I do something with other guys he is super jealous. But in the end he is the one with the girlfriend.

I don’t know what to do. Should I tell her?

Response:

No, you shouldn’t tell your boyfriend’s girlfriend about your relationship. It’s his responsibility to do that.

Our best advice is to make your expectations clear. Tell your boyfriend that you expect him to end his relationship with his other girlfriend. Tell him what you want—that you want to be with him and for him not to be involved with someone else.

If he doesn’t respect your feelings and is unable to end his other relationship, then you should breakup with him. It is not in your long-term interest to be in a relationship with someone who is capable of being involved with multiple people and won’t take responsibility for his actions. He’s being disrespectful to both you and his other girlfriend.

Make it clear to him that he needs to resolve this issue and if he doesn’t avoid him at all costs. Staying with someone who doesn’t value and respect your feelings (or his other girlfriend’s feelings) will only result in heartache, betrayal and misery.

It’s not your place or responsibility to contact her—that falls squarely on his shoulders and how he handles that responsibility will reveal a lot about his character and willingness to treat you with love and respect.

Although you love your boyfriend, love isn’t enough to make a relationship work. Successful relationships require more than just love—they require honesty, decency, and partners who are willing to take responsibility for their actions (see healthy relationships).

 cheating boyfriend | confront other person | troubled relationship | will he leave

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