My boyfriend isn’t who he used to be
I've been dating the same guy for nearly a year and a half. He is a year older than me and we met in high school. For the first few months of our relationship, he treated me with the outmost respect and adoration but by the time the summer came around, everything changed.
He has always been a compulsive liar.
But it’s gotten to the point where he lied about everything now and if I don’t believe him, he threatens to leave me and engages in a massive tantrum and mental breakdown (even though he himself knows he’s lying). He is lying about where he is, who he’s with, all the jazz.
He’s lied about going to clubs and hanging out with girls and other people behind my back, he’s lied about texting and getting together with his exes. And if I don’t believe him, he turns everything on me and makes me the monster. As we approach the one year and a half mark, he has become so disrespectful and nasty to me. Constantly lying and deceiving me is one thing, but now he is verbally abusive, dismisses my feelings, ignored me, insults me in every way possible, and the lying has gotten even worse.
I don’t know what to do anymore. How do I change such a compulsive liar? How do I make him respect me once again? How do I make him love and adore me the way he used to?
Sorry to hear about your situation. For the most part, people are on their best behavior at the start of a relationship. And during the start of a relationship couples form expectations about how their relationship will be. You thought that your boyfriend would be respectful and kind. You now have plenty of evidence to contradict your beliefs.
It’s difficult to change one’s own behavior, let alone a partner’s behavior. While breaking up with a partner can be painful, it’s sometimes the best option. In such situations, it helps to talk to a counselor about the best way to manage a breakup to guarantee your emotional and physical safety.
It also helps to reflect on what you learned from this experience. When dating, what you first see is not always the truth. Take your time getting into a serious relationship with someone. The slower couples go at the start of a relationship the less problems they face as time unfolds.
I have my own question to ask
Truth About Deception – back to our home page.