My boyfriend is a scorpion and I am a frog
My boyfriend and I have been together eight years. He cheated on me once when we first got together with his ex. I forgave him but let him know I wouldndo it again. Well, I’ve caught him texting his ex asking for nude photos etc., but last night I found texts on his phone about their meeting at a hotel and he was really putting me down and making fun of me.
I donwant to tell him I was snooping on his phone and I know what’s up. But I’m confused, he puts this woman down constantly and he said he is done with her etc. I’ve told him if he still loves her to go back to her and I get the lies and bs stories.
I donunderstand why it’s only this one woman he cheats with and when I give him an out he doesntake it. Why stay and lie and cheat on me with this one person, yet when given the chance to leave and do what he wants, he doesn’t.
What is his trip?
Response:
You have probably heard the story about the scorpion and the frog. If you haven’t here is the short version. A scorpion and a frog meet at a river. The scorpion asks the frog for a lift over. The frog says, “no way, you’d bite me.” The scorpion replies, “Why would I do that? We’d both drown.” As they are crossing the river, the scorpion bites the frog. As they are dying the frog asks the scorpion, “Why?”
The moral of the story: Don’t ask, “WHY?!?” You know who your boyfriend is. He treats you and his ex-girlfriend exactly the same way.
We created an entire section on this site about attachment issues because it explains so much about why people behave the way they do (see truth about attachment).
Insecure individuals, especially anxious individuals, often have pent-up anger and frustration towards a partner that comes out in unhealthy ways – like, talking negatively about their boyfriend/girlfriend, cheating, lying (see attachment styles). But, here is the catch: anxious individuals are afraid to leave their partners. So, they often stay and continue acting out in their emotionally insecure ways.
If you were at the river with the scorpion and the frog, what would you tell the frog? Therein lies your answer.
anxious attachment | cheating boyfriend | lying boyfriend
Other Options:
I have my own question to ask
Truth About Deception – back to our home page.
