A book by a founder of this site.
My girlfriend suddenly left me
I have been in a loving relationship for the last 9 years.
Throughout those years I had three one night stands (not proud), and I was honest about them to my girlfriend on all three occasions and we were able to get through it.
A short while ago her best friend was to get married on a realty TV show and the film crew had to be at the friend’s house to record events up till the day they got married.
During this time my girlfriend would spend a lot of time (once or twice a week) there for 3 weeks. During these tapings there were lots of friends and people but I could careless for the Bride and Groom so I didn’t attend.
So on the wedding day I only attended the reception and when I arrived my girlfriend was already a little intoxicated. Anyway, I didn’t immediately kiss her upon meeting her because there was so much going on.
Later while we were sitting at the head table I attempted to kiss her and she pulled away. I then asked her, why did you do that? She replied we need to talk.
So I automatically assumed that our relationship was in trouble if not over. So I told her I guess this means our relationship is over?
She replied I tried, I am sorry. To avoid ruining the marriage I sucked it up and tried to pretend nothing happened. Later we arrived back at her house and she had told me that she no longer loves me.
She put a ton of emphasis on this and later told me that she was to pursue interests with the Grooms friend, (who is 23 and 5 years younger than her and 200lbs more than her but has a rich family).
After hearing all of this I was just floored and asked her when she decided to do all this. She replied, yesterday which was the day before the wedding.
So now I am deeply hurt and never thought this relationship would end seeing that we worked out our problems in the past.
It has been 4 days since this has happened and the one time she called she left a voice message stating “stop calling me and my friends and stop sending flowers to my work its over.” She also said that when things settle down we can talk about being friends.
I haven’t spoken to her since the day after the wedding. And the only phone calls I made were the same day. Where did all of this come from?
Things were fine 48 Hrs before the wedding. Anyway, I still love her deeply but I don’t see the point of trying to hold on to this as much as I love her to pieces.
What are your thoughts on a reconciliation of our relationship? And to think before the year ends I was going to purpose.
It just really hurts right now! I think this site helps a lot, great site!
Sorry to hear about your situation.
The pain and confusion which accompanies the end of any romantic relationship can be overwhelming. Everything that was once familiar can suddenly feel strange and unfamiliar. In fact, many couples stay together simply to avoid the type of pain and uncertainty are now experiencing (see romantic attachments).
And generally speaking, relationships come to an end in one of two ways: A “Sudden Death” approach versus a “Slowly Passing Away” (see my boyfriend is acting strange).
From your description, it appears that your girlfriend chose the "Sudden Death" approach: A one-sided, surprise break-up (see Duck). Unfortunately, there is little you can do. In her mind, the relationship is over, and there will be no attempt at reconciliation.
When it comes to ending a relationship, many people like to make a clean break rather than let things drag on with no end in sight. She has probably been unhappy for a while, hid that fact from you, and took the first opportunity she had to move on (see worth saving).
Unfortunately, this happens to people all the time (see my wife left me).
That’s why it is so important to discuss or ask about a partner’s feelings on a consistent basis, rather than let issues build and suddenly be caught by surprise.
We wish we had an easy answer to help you cope with this sudden change of events. But, our best advice is to keep active doing the things you enjoy the most. It’s simply going to take time to rebuild your life, meet new people, and feel like yourself again.
We wish you the best.
I have my own question to ask
Truth About Deception – back to our home page.