I have a great relationship but there is no sexual excitement

I am with the man of my dreams: personality, looks, TLC, understanding, support, wisdom! We are planning our life together and committed to one another, challenging many difficulties.

But, a main problem: SEX.

I am a woman with wild experiences, while he does not believe in sex without emotional attachment. Every woman’s dream!!

We are in love, very close, and open with one another. Yet he requests my patience until he becomes ready to unleash the passion; his way of settling in a relation and deals with past issues, he says. I believe him, but I am scared.

We have been together for two years; he is in a critical position in his career and has been dealing with serious issues related to his past. Would time be our ally or the passion to come is an illusion?


Typically, sexual passion is the most intense at the start of a relationship. The novelty and excitement that new love generates tends to fade over time—sex becomes more routine and stable as relationships develop and mature.

And couples have less sex the longer they are together. In fact, some of the appeal of having an affair is the sexual excitement that it generates. But again, even the excitement that an affair creates will fade, if given enough time. This helps explain why some people consistently cheat—some people simply crave the excitement an affair can generate (also see our response to husband constantly cheats).

But with that said, many individuals are more comfortable having sex when sexual activity is linked to intimacy, emotions, and attachment. So, in many cases, sex between long-term partners often becomes more emotional, caring and intimate. But, sex rarely becomes more wild and exciting.

Hope this helps answer your question.

 loss of passion | no sex life | past sexual history

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