My husband just told me he is leaving me

My husband informed me that he is leaving me. I messaged his girlfriend to ask her what she has to say for herself. She broke up with him. He was so devastated by losing her. I fixed it but told them they need to respect my need for time. We have kids.

Who is the fool? Me? I feel like a fool.

He is my best friend and I am not even angry, just sad. There is no chance of reconciliation. Do I sue for everything a then sue her too? Do I keep the friendship going for our children’s sake? We live together and I guess he is not planning on moving any time soon. What do I do? How do I get over this hurt? How do I continue to seek consolement from the one who hurt me? Am I brainwashed like my family says?

I cannot fight. I have no fight in me I gave up my career to build his and now he has moved on.


The loss of a relationship through rejection is one of life’s most stressful events. While it is natural to turn to your husband for support, it can also be problematic. While he may care about you, he has already placed his own needs ahead of your own. He is not in a position to provide you with the best advice‐there is an inherent conflict of interest between the two of you.

It might be wise to join a support group or start counseling. It is important to have people, who are not involved in the situation that you can turn to for support (our message board is a great place to start).

You are not alone. Many people are going through the exact same situation. Slightly less than half of all marriages end in divorce. Having someone you can share your feelings with will help you make decisions that are in your best interest and help you manage the problem more effectively.

It also helps to think about what you want. What is your ultimate goal? Do you want to punish your husband? Protect your children from being exposed to fighting and conflict? Do you want to find a way to put this situation behind you and get on with your life?

As a general rule, legal battles and fighting only cause pain for everyone involved—including your children. While it is important to make sure that you are treated fairly, it is also important not to escalate the conflict to the point where your life is full of negativity.

It is also important to not personalize the situation, even though it is a deeply personal experience. Marriages end every day. Often third parties are involved. If you take it personally—that is, blame your husband, blame the other woman, or blame yourself, doing so will only prolong your suffering. Try to take a step back and view the situation from a third party’s perspective. What advice would you give to yourself?

It is ok to be sad and confused. And expressing your emotions is very helpful. But, also try to view the situation from an objective point of view and think about advice you would give to someone in your own shoes. While this can be difficult to do, it can also help you find the best solution for making your life better.

Hope this helps.

 cheating husband | legal issues

Other Options:

  • View all tags (specific issues)
  • View all questions listed by topic (broader focus)

I have my own question to ask

Truth About Deception – back to our home page.

comments powered by Disqus