Caught my husband cheating on Skype and Facebook

10 days ago, I found out that my husband is heavily involved in Cyber Sex and online affairs with women via Skype, email and Facebook. On confronting him, he was caught off guard, as he was not expecting any such thing. He admitted his mistake straightaway and was very ashamed and apologetic. He had been chatting to many women at the same time. He was into erotic sex chats with some of them and online affairs with some of them. There were things written by him, which he had not even said to me ever. Our sex life is not great so I always thought that he had a low sex drive. But after reading his messages on Facebook all I could think of was that he is not happy with me and I don’t fulfill his emotional and physical dreams/expectations. I tried to communicate with him and find out why he did this but every time I try to talk, he starts apologizing and saying that he will make it up to me. He just needs 1 chance.

All I could get out from him is that somewhere on the way, he lost his confidence and self esteem, and by having a virtual world he tried to fill that gap and did not realize when he ended up going overboard with what he was doing there. He has lied to me many times in the past but every time I forgave him thinking that he will not do it again. While this was happening between us, there were also huge family problems going on in his family, which is why this issue got kind of side tracked. He is under lot of stress and pressure at the moment which is why I am trying to be all nice a supportive to him but deep inside I am depressed and shattered. I don’t know if I will ever trust him again. We have a 14-month-old son therefore I want to give this relationship a last chance. But I don’t know how to deal with the hurt, pain and deception. I can’t stop thinking of all the disgusting and ridiculous things he had been writing to all those women. Can you help me with some advise?

Response:

Apologizing when getting caught red-handed is not a real apology. Most likely, it is a way of covering up the issue rather than dealing with it directly. Rather than giving an apology or coming up with excuses (explanations), you and your husband should be talking about your sex life.

Sexual satisfaction in a romantic relationship is critical. Sexual satisfaction is one of the best predictors about how a relationship is working out—how close and connected couples feel. The fact that your husband is working out his sexual desires with other women online is not a good sign.

Couples, who have an unsatisfying sex life also tend to have a difficult time talking to their partners openly and honestly about their needs, wants and desires. If that is the case in your relationship, our best advice is to seek out counseling. This issue, if not resolved with professional help, will most likely continue to occur and you will probably feel even more miserable the next time around.

Professional counseling may not help you resolve the issue, but it will help you see if your relationship can be saved.

 cheating husband | emails | no sex life | online cheating

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