Past Comments – I lied about the number of my past sexual partners

written by Yeah, 23 October, 2007

Double a woman’s said numbers and cut a man’s in half. That’s about right.

written by Cain, 29 October, 2007

I’d have to concur with Yeah. I’d say that double the girls said number to 24 and reduce the guys number to 7. The guy obviously didn’t want to appear to be so hopelessly out of his league, while the girl didn’t want it to seem that she had been too "available".

Either way, I’d advise you both to end this now. Before it descends into levels of bitterness and anger whose genesis you’ll not be able to get at the root of. It’s broken and it can’t be fixed. Mark up your tally to 25 and move on and this time try to be wiser and practice less of the double standard. And also try to be a bit more understanding and put yourself in your partners shoes.

If after all, your partner had told you he had slept with 50 people (and you were sure it was the truth), I rather doubt you’d give him half a chance.

written by Frankie Junior, 20 June, 2010

Agree with you both. I don’t thing "the truth" is actually attainable in most circumstances. I have had two recent experiences identical to your answers (within last 2 years). I lied and "upped my number of sexual partners" simply to appear more sexually experienced after learning on two separate occasions that the person I was dating felt it necessary to "up the ante" by admitting truthfully to a much higher number of sexual partners than had been originally admitted to. On both occasions the women’s number "shocked me" because the increase in both instances was double or more (from 6 to 18; from 4 to 10). Since then, I make it a point to find out EARLY. A few more attempts at dating using "the find out early strategy" seemed to work. The results? BIG numbers too much for me, some were simply unbelievable. I’m no "moral example", but I have had not more than 4 relationships to include one failed marriage due to infidelity by my ex-wife. Previous to my ex wife my experiences were short and in my stupid youth. Such experiences of learning the truth about women’s "real sex numbers" is leaving me distrustful of women. Too much promiscuity in the world, and "I ain’t excusing myself".

written by Ron8989898989, 20 December, 2011

My wife lied about here past before we got married. One week after we got married she told me how many partners she has had, now we never have sex (we didn’t have sex often before we got married). I know the politically correct thing is for me to forgive her but part of the dating process is to discover common interest and differences so you can pick a partner that lines up with your similar values. I’ve a had one partner... my wife has had fifty +, our expectations in the bedroom are so different that she gets bored with me and I have no idea what turns here on. She tries to help me but I don’t really get it, I try but things come off forced and cold because what she wants just turns me off.

written by Awww, 06 January, 2012

Well Ron, would you have married her if you had known the truth? I’ve been with 14 people in 10 years of being sexually active (I’m 27) and have been called a s*** and horrible things by a guy I was seeing. Funny, he and his friends were always out at bars picking up women and their numbers are in the upper 20s or 30s by now. But I wasn’t worthy of him. His friend is dating a girl whose virginity he just took, and he cheats on her all the time.

written by Nothings perfect, 23 February, 2012

I’m finding how tough it is deal with the history of a partner, especially when theirs is much more extensive then your own, but I definitely have to agree with the earlier statement that the earlier you find out the truth the better. I knew my girlfriend of several months was cautious about history and told some small white lies, but until recently she never gave an actual number which was 15, which I was previously was guessing/hoping it was around 5. With my history of 4 partners this was extremely tough to handle, but it is the past and she is still the most amazing girl I’ve ever been with personality and sense of humor wise. I can’t imagine my life without her so this is something I have to work past cause she was for the most part honest with me, and what’s in the history shouldn’t effect things now. The tough question I ask myself is would I rather have never known and stuck with my own assumptions, or deal with the stress of knowing the truth?

written by AutumnB, 29 September, 2012

I’ve been with my bf for a year now, we have a baby. (turns out making babies is easy) in the beginning we gave each other our numbers. I was honest because I had lied in a past relationship and it caused a horrible breakup. I admitted to 7 partners and he admitted to 7 as well.. I knew something didn’t seem right because he couldn’t remember names.. I didn’t question it tho because I felt that I didn’t know him well enough to call him a liar.. But recently he admitted to around 20 partners and while the number doesn’t bother me, the fact that he lied, hurts.. But like I said, I have lied before myself, so I understand. I just want him to no that he can be honest.. Lying is addictive.. It gets easier every time