Truth about my behavior might soon come out

About 2 years ago, my wife found about my affair with a coworker. While it had been a long-term affair, I convinced my wife that it had only happened on time. It took a long time but we are starting to get past it.

I have stayed in touch with my former mistress, mostly just email communication, but occasionally for coffee. Some of our email communication has been inappropriate. But we have not had any physical contact. I guess I convinced myself that it was ok, the lesser of two evils.

Recently, my mistress’s husband found the emails between the two of us... this is the first time he really learned of the initial affair and has the full story. He is obviously very upset and threatening to call my wife and tell her.

I really have no idea what to do... I realize this is all my fault, but would appreciate any advice you can give me.

I have 4 kids with my wife and the thought of losing them has me sick. I donknow why I downplayed the email communication in my mind... now that it has come out I can see how devastating it will be.

Response:

When dealing with the discovery of a betrayal, it is important to tell the truth and change your behavior (see surviving infidelity).

At this point, you now risk having your indiscretions come to light again and it will be harder for you and your wife to recover compared to the first time around.

You have little choice in this matter. You can hope that your mistress’s husband does not call your wife. However, if she does hear the news from him and not you, she is going to have a more difficult time forgiving you (see should I confess).

Given the situation, you should give serious consideration to telling your wife the truth before she finds it out from a third party (see how to tell the truth).

Wish you the best.

expose cheating | trust issues

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