Past Comments – Should I expose my wife's secret relationship

written by Decieved, 16 August, 2007

Don’t tell her... get all the proof "on paper". Print off copies of billing statements, emails, etc and also save them to a disc and hide it at your place of work. Then after she goes to work, go to the bank and set up new accounts, call all the creditors you have joint accounts with and cancel yourself if your the secondary or remove her if she is the secondary... then file for divorce and claim adultery. You will have all the proof you need to force her to submit to a no-contest divorce.

P.S. Change the locks and throw her stuff out!

written by BeenThereAlready, 30 October, 2008

Your wife is long gone. Stop lying to yourself & stop believing her lies. They now belong to each other. Get proof, inform his wife, let it go & don’t look back!

written by bazza, 30 January, 2009

same thing is happening to me. please let me know the solution as it is driving me mad!

written by 20144, 06 March, 2009

My advice is to gather as much evidence as you could, present it to her like Chris Hansen would do in his how to catch a... series.

written by Dommick, 10 June, 2009

If you Really Love Your Wife, Then Seek To save your Marriage I would not expose the relationship so that the man knows, But I would Tell her after you have found solid proof and information. That You are aware that this is going on. Take the axe and cut the tree down.

written by kennygee, 05 September, 2009

Really feel for you. Exposing her might have its negative effect on you too. Do you have kids? In my culture, you have to consider the kids a lot and that is why such things are better resolved between the two of you, Wish you the best.

written by hennie, 09 November, 2009

My experience is that his wife might not believe you and then you will be the "jealous pig". I did tell and the wife only believed me 10 years later. I was accused of chemical imbalance in my brain and all sorts. Get proof and run my friend!!!

written by Randyd, 03 December, 2009

We have been married for 18 years. My wife had an affair this March,in May I caught her using facebook to exchange letters.I found her password and read everything in her facebook mailbox. I wish I could unknow all I read. After being caught she said it was over, I caught her again,again she said this time it was really over... I have recently found out she is still having contact with him,phone,email and???
Now my issue is that I know I could have been a better husband, I know that if her needs were being met she would not have looked outside the marriage to fill those needs. So I feel like this is what I deserve. I do love my wife,but being lied to is taking its toll on me. I dont know if I can ever believe her,I don’t know how to feel anymore................

written by Not Me, 15 July, 2010

Please grow up and dump the bitch, cause that is what she is.

Stop blaming yourself. If you were a jackass she should have told you so an moved on herself instead sneaking around.

Someone needs to be a grownup, and the grownup will gather the evidence and kick the other one out the door.

written by jjolla, 18 August, 2010

telling his wife has a benefit: your wife will know you are going to make a fuss if she ever wants to stray again. her lover’s life will be mauled, and she will want to avoid it.

however, this makes sense only if you feel your wife still wants to be with you in the future. you need to establish this -- consider calmly letting your wife know all you know (don’t tell her how you found out.. just make it clear she cant lie about facts that you have established). then ask her if she is doing this because she has stopped caring for you... or is it more of a exciting short-term thing. if the latter you have a chance of a future

written by blb317, 12 January, 2011

Listen all relationships are complicated especially if one of the couple is having an affair. When someone wanders there is something lacking for them in the relationship be it, sex, friendship or maybe they just fall out of love. Take a stand! Say how you feel! Most of all make a decision and stick to it. When one door closes another opens however being in the hallway sucks.

written by Sparky, 31 January, 2011

Take a man pill and move on. Seriously,... you’ve obviously lost her respect there is no reason you can’t at least save your self respect. To even attempt to comprehend the reason for this unfortunate situation would be fruitless. Like a tick she simply chooses to burrow in deeper with the deceit and dishonesty. Find solace in the good things in your life as you consciously collect them and move forward with a fruitful happy life.

written by no name, 29 April, 2011

Interesting how this is a pervasive problem, with both men and women. In this case, I’m the "guy", and since I’ve been with my wife (4+ yrs), this has been a recurring issue. Most recently, we met a guy at a family wedding event--suave, extremely good looking, and obviously on the "make"; she was clearly taken--commented to me how he looked down her dress at her "ladies’, how he seemed disappointed that she had me join them for a cigar (yes, we both smoke cigars!!). A week after the wedding event, I discovered an inordinate number of text messages on her phone log...investigated, and sure enough--Mr Nice Guy. The big issue is she hid it all, and never as brought it up, even though I believe she knows I know. Recurring issue as she did same thing with old boyfriends several times, and lied/hid messages from me.

written by I am strong!, 14 March, 2012

I filed for divorce after I found out about her affair. No one has a right to treat you this way!

written by Betrayedtoo, 24 December, 2012

My wife cheated and is now finding all faults with our married life and justifying...