Past Comments – I lied to my boyfriend and he wants to move on

written by Guest, 05 June, 2006

Hi, I am a 21 year guy. The same thing happened to me. My girlfriend broke my trust in front of my eyes and we sort of broke off at that point of time. She was double dating me with my own friend and it was shocking for me. But somehow we are back together today. But i still feel suspicious at times about her, even though she has been very loving and caring then ever. I trust her now, but only to a certain extent. I still cannot get comfortable with her. So my suggestion for you would be that find a new guy for yourself cause even if you get him back, he won’t trust you fully. I know it is hard to do that but I guess that’s the way it is. Hope you get what you want. And ya, my girlfriend has become an addiction for me so nor can I leave her neither can I stay away from her. I hope its not the same with you. I hope you get with the right person. Take care.

written by guest, 17 August, 2007

I’m 29, also a guy, and had the same thing happen to me. My girlfriend had an ‘emotional affair’ online with another guy and kept it from me. when i found out, i kicked her to the curb. but she begged me back and i gave in. turns out later that she escalated the affair from online chatting to late night phone calls (hours long), and numerous texts messages back and forth. Again, she kept it from me, and after finding out, I confronted her. And then she did the single most stupid thing ever, she told me she wanted to take a break so she could work things out with him. After that, there was simply no way I could trust her fully ever again. I simply cant put my heart in her hands and know that i’m a priority in her life, even if she does indeed place me at the top. Some things, once broken, can never be repaired. You may win back your boyfriend, but you’ll never win back his trust. You should move on.

written by --, 04 October, 2008

I did the same thing to my bf.. I lied to him about my past.. but since I’ve been with him I’ve not lied bout anything else.... I only lied when I was not with him yet... since were together I’ve been sincere and loving. I don’t even feel like looking at other guys coz I love him so much.. but he never wants to forgive me... I promised to him that I will never lie to him ever again... but he is really hurt that I lied.. I blame myself for lying to him. I did it so I wouldn’t loose him... but now I’m lost... he doesn’t wanna talk to me and he ended our relationship yesterday giving the reason that I lied – he hates me for that.

written by jessicairish, 14 October, 2008

I’m going through this too. I lied to my boyfriend a long time ago to protect him and nearly lost him when he found out. We got back together and after a fantastic year, (with some downs) I lied to him last night. I said I wasn’t talking online to his friend when I was. And when he questioned me about it instead of saying yes I was but it was just conversation, which it was, I said I wasn’t. Turns out he had seen the conversation and so knew I was lying. He went mad. And I dug myself deeper. By the time the row was over he kicked me out. And I said, if you weren’t so paranoid I’d feel like I didn’t have to hide things from you. That was the truth.
I felt like even though I did nothing wrong, I had to lie to avoid arguments. But no, a bigger one came about and I’m petrified of losing him. what do I do !!!????

written by Yasha, 07 November, 2008

That happened to me as well when I lost my boyfriend about being pregnant for nine months he was devastated when he found out about it I apologized about but he did not want to hear and he ended our relationship after a year in a have although I love him and I want to get back with him I know it would never be the same again after what I did I was only thinking about my self and how much I didn’t want to lose him but I’m still healing but I know its best to just move on with my life as well.

written by Ashley M, 10 November, 2008

Just recently my boyfriend spent a few days in ny while i stayed back home, the first night he left, i was invited to dinner with some friends in our apt complex, and the day he left we had been fighting really bad, and since i was so mad at him i didn’t think he deserved to know what i was doing while he was gone. somehow four days ago he found out about what happened and i cam clean about what i did. he was so mad, we got into the biggest argument ever and he hit him and dragged me by my hair. I know it sounds crazy but after everything HE did to me with the hitting and stuff, i forgave him. only because i know what i did was wrong, but he is telling me we are over and that i have to move out, and that he wants to go our separate ways. i really have no where to go but even if i did i don’t think i would because im so afraid this really is it, i love him so much, and yea i lied but i realize i made a HUGE mistake and i just wish he could find it in his heart to forgive just like i have, but part of me tells me it might be too late. we haven’t really said much to each other maybe 5 words, and its so awkward cause im still living here. i don know what to do, and i really don’t know how to cope.

written by Tia, 29 November, 2008

This thing happened with me yesterday... one of the guys were after me to get married. He came down to my town and I spent some time with him telling that I am committed to someone else. when my bf came to know about the truth, he could not stay anymore in my life. I wish he were with me today.. because I loved him truly. I never loved anyone like that in my whole life.

written by guest2, 28 June, 2009

I had the same thing happen. I lied to my boyfriend about small things 3 times. We worked it out the first 2 times and the third was the break up. I really love him but he won’t stay. He wants us to be friends and I am at the time still living with him until he can move out. I just wish we could work things out but I think it might be too late as well.

written by ashleymayer101, 01 November, 2009

i have the same problem i lied about the past and now i cant live with out him in my life i just want him and me to start over and i can be very honest and he can trust me

written by ilovehim, 14 December, 2009

i lied to my bf about sending pictures to a guy way before i even started dating my bf i have now and he asked me if i sent the guy the pictures and i lied and said no i never did, but i really did, later on that very same day i told him the truth about me sending them pictures and i lost his trust we’re still together but its hard, because he keeps thinking im gonna lie to him again and he keeps thinking im hiding things from him and i swore i would never lie to him again and i would never hide things from him but he still thinks i lie to him and hide things from him, i just want him to believe me, i want to be with him forever, i love him with all my heart and he says he loves me but cant trust me, what do i do?

written by sheeba, 02 January, 2010

it seems we all do the same stupid mistake.. we lie, and we try to think of every excuse why we did it, when in reality there is no reason for lying to our partners. I also lied to my BF, about little things, I never cheated but he thinks I did and just yesterday after trying to get past my mistakes he broke it off. I am heart broken and feel completely lost without him. I truly feel like I lost the love of my life and dont know what I am going to do. I know that I f***ed up, I lied and I have no excuse for it. I tried to make up for it but he just couldnt get over the betrayal and lost of trust. So now, I am left standing here alone and regretting the biggest mistake of my life.. I can only hope and pray that he finds it in his heart to forgive me and realizes that I really do love him and would NEVER lie to him again..

written by Ugh, 11 January, 2010

And I thought I was the only one in this situation. I feel like such an idiot for ever even lying to my boyfriend about stupid little things. We’ve been going out for a year until he had it with my third little lie because I said I would stop. I was just so paranoid about him being mad at me, and frankly I thought I could get away with it. I guess not, we broke up for a month, and were so mean to each other. But the talking didn’t stop, and at one point we decided that we would try to work things out. We’re going back out now and we were doing well a week ago, and now all of a sudden it’s different, he gets mad at me all the time, he acts like he doesn’t care, and I’ve been giving him nothing but 110% of my time, I stopped talking to all my guy friends, basically stopped talking to everybody he didn’t like, for him. I don’t know what to do anymore, I really do try, and put up with all his shit. I do love him, I am in love with him still, but it seems like he feels differently. I know he loves me, but I’m just not quite sure he’s still "in love" with me.

written by heartbroken d, 18 January, 2010

this happened to me as well. i lied to my bf to avoid arguments. hes a bit insecure and the things i lied about would of only made him more. i thought i was helping. one of the lies i told, was about a guy i had went on dates with and got blown off. he texted me out of the blue one day and i tried to act like i was better or something. like a game. he wanted to meet up with me (which i never would have) so i stated id call him later and never did. blowoff for blowoff. but when my bf found the texts...needless to say he didnt see the innocence in them. I love him so much and have been his 110%. but this last lie hurt too much. now im alone and in love with a man i hurt and cannot have. it feels too much to bear at times. oh my love...im sorry

written by asughoinoinia, 30 January, 2010

I messed up to, I cant even eat or walk around normally....I feel ill. Hes giving me another chance but i fear at any moment he will decide to break up with me because of a stupid lie. Trust is so important and I would do anything to keep him. I love him so much. I cant lose him...

written by....., 05 February, 2010

Please Please Help Me! I’ve lied to my boyfriend a lot. We’ve been dating for about a year now, and I just told him the truth about my past. He got so upset. It’s not that what I did was really bad, because it’s not like if I cheated on him, but the fact that I lied for about a year kills me inside. And I still have a couple of thing’s that I haven’t confessed yet. I don’t know what to do. I love him more than my own life and I do not want to lose him. I know he loves me, he has proved it many times. But now I do not know what to do. I don’t want to let him go, but I feel as if he deserves better than me. I am nothing but a lier.

written by bittersweet, 14 February, 2010

i know exactly how you all feel, me and my boyfriend broke up a week ago because of lies that i had said i let my insecurities get the best of me i felt that i couldnt measure up to him because the age difference and in comparison to experience so i felt i had to lie. he found out i kept denying it then he broke up with me later on in the week it bugged me i felt that if i really loved him he deserved to know the truth when we broke up he was so mean to me but i took everything that i could all his words he was calling me..it hurt and they cut so deep i know it might be too late at the same time i love him but hate him!..

written by dashara, 11 March, 2010

I recently lied to my bf about talking to one of my male friends online, he asked me when was the last time i talked to him i was hesitating to say Monday, but i just told him last week, he had already knew the answer. the same night we got into an argument about that and him going to dinner with a female friend. we broke up but i still live with him, I’ve lied several times with him. but the lies were little, not huge ones like cheating on him. he is my first and i want him to be the only one for me, i cant see myself with other guys. he has to move to Korea for a yr and says if he feels he can trust me he well take me with him the next time he moves. i really hope that he still has feelings of me when he return.

written by dashara, 11 March, 2010

I recently lied to my bf about talking to one of my male friends online, he asked me when was the last time i talked to him i was hesitating to say Monday, but i just told him last week, he had already knew the answer. the same night we got into an argument about that and him going to dinner with a female friend. we broke up but i still live with him, I’ve lied several times with him. but the lies were little, not huge ones like cheating on him. he is my first and i want him to be the only one for me, i cant see myself with other guys. he has to move to Korea for a yr and says if he feels he can trust me he well take me with him the next time he moves. i really hope that he still has feelings of me when he return.

written by guilty..., 16 March, 2010

My boyfriend went through a stage where he felt he needed to know everything about my past – how many guys have you slept with, how many one night stands, how many guys did you leave the bar with and what did you do with them, etc etc. A lot of the time I lied to him about the answers. I dont think its any of his business what I did before I met him. I have been nothing but faithful to him since the day I met him so I dont know why he keeps pushing for these answers. We both love each other very much, and are planning on moving in together. Now I am terrified that he will find out the truth and everything will fall apart. I know he could never forgive me but I feel so guilty – about the lies and about past. I never felt guilty about my past until I met him and he made me feel like if I told him the truth I would be the girl that he wouldnt want to get involved with. Now I have to decide to take these secrets to the grave (hopefully) or come clean and risk losing the guy I thought I was going to marry

written by KatelynMoran, 17 March, 2010

The same thing happened me last night I lied to my boyfriend to avoid arguing about giving a guy my phone number on myspace and I forgot my bf knew my account information and I tried to deny it but I got caught in a lie he broke up with me and told me I was a compulsive liar I was heart broke. He is the love of my life and today I did everything in my power to get him back all it took was a sincere apology and I told him I loved him and he was the only one I wanted. We are now back together and I will never lie to hI again.

written by ASHLOV89, 23 March, 2010

I WAS WITH MY PARTNER FOR 3 MONTHS AND I GOT PREGNANT AND HAD AN ABORTION AND THEN WHEN HE WANTED 2 BREAK UP WITH ME I LIED AND SAID I DID’NNT GET THE ABORTION TO KEEP HIM AROUND AND EVERYTHING HAS BACKFIRED BECAUSE I KEPT PUTN LIES ON TOP OF LIES AND NOW SINCE HE FOUND OUT HE DONT WANNA HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME BUT IN OUR SHORT TIME 2GETHA I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM AND IT HURTS SO BAD BECAUSE HE NEVA LIED CHEATED OR BETRAYED ME HE WAS A GREAT MAN 2 ME....HOW DO I GET HIM BACK OR SHOULD I JUST LET IT GO.

written by Gwenny, 12 April, 2010

Hey there, My name is Gwen I’m 19 years old And have been with my Partner for 5 years. Had a beautiful daughter with him too. He’s a great man and has done nothing wrong in the 5 years of being with me. But on the other side there’s me... I have cheated and told lies upon lies and he has said if I don’t go and get help on my lying and my insecurity and don’t want to change then he doesn’t want to be with me any more. And I really don’t want that to happen as I love him so much I couldn’t live or be with out him. So I’m going to call my Gp and talk to my doctor in getting me in to group therapy or something to help me as I need it. And don’t want to lose the man I care about..
So I need to change and I will do all it takes to gain trust with my boyfriend as never want to lose him.

written by KatrinaP, 17 April, 2010

I withheld information from my boyfriend about going to visit my ex because I didn’t want him to be mad or give me a hard time. To be honest I didn’t care if he broke up with me or not because we had a lot of issues and I wasn’t truly happy. I just would have preferred to have broken up because it just wasn’t working so that we could be friends. His friendship was more important to me than our romantic relationship. Now I feel sad that I lost my friend.

written by Shanda, 22 April, 2010

Hi, How are ya? I am not doing good cause I am still love with my ex very much, but it probably too late now he might have new girlfriend now so I lied too much I wish I didn’t lied first place stupid So I wish I could called him and make up to him for my every lied I ever had made in past yea so there nothing I can do get him back

written by regretful, 29 May, 2010

I was with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. We’ve been through so much together. And we have been doing so well lately! Still in love, talking about dreams and marriage and careers. But last week, I told him something that destroyed all of that. Back in 2006, we had broken up. Thinking that it was really over, I fooled around with some guy. Not long into it, I had to get up and tell this guy, "I’m sorry, I don’t want to do this" and that was the end of that. I still really wanted to be with my bf and to my surprise, we got back together REALLY soon after that. Since then, throughout the years, he’s asked me about my sexual history (who, where, what happened, how many times) and hid this from him. Honestly, I couldn’t see him wanting to be with me if I told him the truth. But for the last year, things have gotten so much better. I’ll never know why then, just last week, I decided to tell my bf about that sad moment in 2006. He’s such a good man that I just had to get it out and be honest. Now my bf(ex) is pissed. He can’t stand me. Just last week we were so in love and now he’s talking about how he wants to be with someone else and he wants to sleep with other girls. He can’t stop saying that I’m such a liar and fake. But I’m not that girl that made that mistake. I’ve grown up and only want to be with him until God takes me from this earth. But because I hid it, now all of the beauty in our relationship is gone.
And just like all the other posts here, there’s no happy ending. He doesn’t want to be with me and I’m so heartbroken that its making me sick.

written by forsaken, 30 May, 2010

I’m in the same boat. I lied about my past as well. and there was one lie in the beginning of the relationship. We’ve been together for two wonderful years. I got together with him after a terrible break up and I was not ready to share the details of my past. Over the years I’ve come clean about one thing after the other. But I always felt so horrible about myself because of his reactions and because I was seeing myself through his eyes as a liar and a bad person. I just gave him a letter divulging the last of it. Of course now it is over. I know that I’ve lost the love of my life and the best thing that ever happened to me. He says I’ve destroyed his life. Judging from these other letters, I see there is no hope when breaking someone’s trust. I screwed up. Now I’ll be one of those people who will live my life alone grieving for the ‘one that gt away’. He really always forgave me and he tried very hard to trust me again. But this last straw was too much. I knew what would happen even before I wrote the letter, but I had to do it. I couldn’t go on lying to the man I love. God forgive me.

written by Evee, 04 June, 2010

Hiya
I am in the same spot I have lied to my bf of 8 mos and I hate myself for it. He told me over and over to be honest with him but I couldn’t bring myself to do it for fear I would lose him anyway. I don’t know if I am still with him or not he will not talk to me and to make things worse I insulted him when we were talking it out. I love him more then I have ever loved anyone before and know he is truly that one person for me. I hate that I messed it up like I did. I wish I could go back and start all over and do things the right way but life doesn’t work that way. To all those that still have the chance to work things out just be honest.

written by Saddest Girl on Earth, 04 June, 2010

My boyfriend and I had been together for 3 years. Most of the time we were soo happy. I loved him more than anything in this world...and he made me sooo happy. Even when he made me sad, I always forgave him...even for cheating on me with a prostitute. Somehow, he started to suspect something of me. When we first met, I told him I was a virgin...but he thinks that I am not...how he came to this conclusion, I don’t know. But he is not speaking to me, and told me how he felt he wasted his time, money, and was foolish about someone who didn’t deserve it. I was always honest with him. And he refuses to tell me what he is mad about, just calls me a liar. If I forgave him for cheating...why can’t he forgive me for whatever he is angry with me about? I hope that if I give him some time...that I can call him, not to make up...but just be at peace with each other. That’s my only wish....I’m completely devastated!

written by none of yo bizness, 06 June, 2010

oh come on really? Ladies stop lying and men stop being silly bitches. Too many fish in the sea for all this foolishness.

written by screwed up74, 15 July, 2010

I am in the same mess as all of you. I lied to my boyfriend about 6 months ago and he forgave me, after saying a lot of terrible things to each other. I swore I’d never do it again. I swore I was done lying to him. We’ve been together for almost a year and a half now and through this whole thing he’s felt like he can’t trust me or believe me or anything. I never gained his trust back. And I always said he was crazy for not trusting me because I never do anything (which was 100% true). Then today I lied to him about a guy texting me and I said I swear to god on our relationship and on his life and everything that he and my friend were the only people I had texted today. Apparently, he had set up for that guy to text me and the guy told him the entire conversation which consisted of me trying being short and trying to end it. Seriously. I said I have to go at twice then just stopped answering. There were probably no more than 8 messages from me. But even though there was absolutely nothing to hide, I lied to my boyfriend. I did it because I wanted to avoid an argument and because I didn’t want to make it seem like he actually had a reason to think I cheat or talk to and see other guys other than him, which aside from texting this guy this morning, and his best friend looking for him the other day, I don’t. Honest. I even went to his house to try and talk to him today. But now he’s talking to his ex that he cheated on me with, I forgave him for, and saying they are hanging out ALONE this weekend. And saying that we are over. I have been hysterically crying because I am obviously hurt. I am in love with him and he is the only person I want to be with. Ive never wanted anything more than I do now. And I am absolutely positive. We had plans, were young, but we talked about our future and everything. Now he’s saying he was stupid to ever trust me and he never can again. I don’t know what to do. I hope we’re not over and I don’t want to think this, but I think we will be. I’ve forgiven him tons and tons of times, and I’ve really only messed up twice before this. But this time, it’s bad. I don’t know what else I can do. I feel helpless. If anyone has advice I would REALLY appreciate it.

written by well, 21 July, 2010

my bf of 6 yrs neglected to give me some important information and i had to hear this information from someone else. i feel like he betrayed me and broke the trust. I want to make him feel the way i feel.
He did not cheat or anything. What he did is he did not call me to tell me he was hanging out with this old lady friend he knows her and her husband for many years. She told me and the fact that he didnt tell me is a blow to the gut. I feel like doing something to him but i dont want to change who i am..i am a good person. I feel betrayed

written by I feel your pain, 24 July, 2010

I’m so surprised to read so many similar stories. I lied to my boyfriend about my past. After one year he asked me to be honest, I told him most things in this conversation but not everything. Later that same day it all came out and he feels as he gave me that chance to tell him everything and I didn’t that he can’t trust me any more. I feel stupid for lying but I knew he’d judge me and I didn’t feel confident enough with him just to tell the truth in the beginning as I had been with more people than him. I’ve begged him to stay and I have told him every single thing now but he says he can’t believe me. I think he will never be able to trust me and the questions would always continue. I feel heartbroken and so bad for hurting him but his unreasonable need to know every single thing (who, why, how many times) is overbearing. I wonder if the men who need to know all these answers about their partners past have something in common? Because most of my friends boyfriends don’t want to know and don’t want to hear it so they don’t ask!

written by Jenk, 11 August, 2010

What should you do? Very simple answer sweetheart... STOP LYING!

It doesn’t matter if it will do any good with him. If you want anyone to trust you, don’t lie... period. You don’t just stop lying if it gets you what YOU want. You do it because you care enough about the other person (& yourself) to be real (HONEST).

Of course you want him to trust you. Frankly, if it was too difficult to keep your promises, you are not right for him. He obviously wants someone who is strong enough to be honest. If that’s not you, he deserves someone who is.

It’s really not that complicated. Tell the truth and people will learn that you tell the truth and they will trust you. Trust is earned. When you lie, trust is broken & it’s much more difficult to "fix a broken glass" as you say than it is to keep it from breaking in the first place.

written by............, 26 September, 2010

I recently lost my boyfriend. I didn’t tell him when we broke up the first time that I went to Paris (alone) nor did I tell him I had text his friend how upset it was. He now says he cannot trust me. I am gutted. I have lost everything trying to hide something that would have hurt him or made him more paranoid. Having read these comments, keeping things from someone you love doesn’t work. Motto: tell them everything. If you cant, think before you act!

written by asiam, 08 October, 2010

Hi everyone.
I’ve also lied to my boyfriend. I’m with him for a year and I was very happy with him and I love him very much. I know he also loves me but he’s hurt and angry on me. My story begins from my ex boyfriend. I was with one guy. I was taking him seriously but he didn’t. He was constantly cheating on me. When I got to know about it he left me. I was very heartbroken but still I had feeling for him and I wanted him back. I’ve tried but it didn’t work out, he didn’t want. Some time after on my life path HE came. He’s the most wonderful man I’ve ever met in my life. We had become a couple. It’s normal we had ups and downs but all the time everything was getting well... He’s an Indian and I’m European so sometimes was difficult cause some cultural differences. He told me not to chat with any Indian and I’ve promised him I will never do. I was honest with him and I was telling him everything. One time my ex boyfriend called me and I talked with him for a while. Next day I told this to my boyfriend cause I didn’t want to hide anything from him... He got so much angry on me and didn’t want to talk with me. I forgot to add that my ex is also an Indian and they know each other but don’t like. After 4,5 days everything got back to normal but my boyfriend said if ever I will talk with this guy it will be finished. Some time later my ex wrote to me on skype. I had bad mood and I wanted to know from him why he played with me and than tell him to leave me alone. I talked with him few times cause he said he wants me back(it took a month but I talked with him maybe 8 times). All the time I showed him that everything is finished and I’m happy in my relationship. I hide this from my boyfriend cause I knew he will get mad. Unfortunately he got to know about this. I didn’t delete any chat and when his friend told him that I talked with my ex, he check... He got so much angry and he said I’ve cheated him. I would never cheat on him and he’s the only man I want to spend my life with. He said he don’t want me any more and he can’t trust me ever again. I said sorry so many times and I asked for his forgiveness. He started to talk with me a little but still he thinks I should go back to my ex. I said I don’t want my ex but him. I don’t know what should I do. It’s been already a week and I’m going crazy without him. I did this mistake just one time and I know I will never do this again. I realize I did wrong and I got my lesson. How to have him back? Could someone give me some advise?

written by guest L, 31 October, 2010

My ex- boyfriend lied to my face. I found out about what he was lying about on my own really by accident. God open my eyes to the truth. If I never found out he would have still continue to lie to me as of today. When I confronted him about the lie, he denied it. Then I found out from a mutual acquaintance that he told him about the secret he was keeping from me. I was devastated. he could tell an acquaintance but couldn’t tell his own girlfriend that’s the worst part. Then he wanted to start over like nothing happen. Like his lie wasn’t a big deal. To him it wasn’t since he wasn’t being lied to. We have since gone r separated ways. But if he ever wanted to get back with me, after what he did, I would never take him back. He will never get the chance to fool me again. No matter how sorry he is. The trust is broken. I know this will be his greatest regret in his life.

written by Human cat young, 08 December, 2010

I did lie three time to my Korean ex bf. But the last I lie to him bc I want to move on. I told him I already forget him even I still stuck in him. I love him that why I lie to him. He never know the reason why. It good for him. I think he didn’t trust me anymore. I know he lying to but I cannot accepted. Bc it hurt me a lot.

written by LiesCutDeep, 09 December, 2010

I just read all of these stories that everyone has written and they all sound exactly the same as mine! I have no idea why we lie! It is so stupid! Well my story is that I have been dating the most wonderful man in the world for 2 years now. In the beginning of our relationship I partied, and at one of the parties, a guy tried to put his had down my pants and I told him to stop. I stayed away from that guy for the rest of the night. This was only a couple months into our relationship but I told my BF about it. This made my BF very insecure. My boyfriend then told me that he didn’t like me going to parties (ps. he never partied), so I went to about 2 more (and I don’t even know why I did that, My friend would always ask me to go but I would never drink), and that hurt him because I didn’t stop partying right away, but eventually I did. Before this BF I had had dated other guys, had other BF, slept with someone, and had done other sexual things with guys, but I told him about everything. If he would ask a question about my past I would answer it honestly. This last April(after a year and a half of dating, and we had already slept together), and my BF was finally getting used to my past (it really upset him because he had never dated anyone before, not even kissed anyone), he decided that he thought he should date someone else for a while. The someone he had in mind was one of my best friends who was very religious, so she didn’t have a bad past like I did. He never ended up dating her but we stayed on a "break" for about 2 months. He apologized for ever even liking her and ever since June, when we got back together, everything has been great! Lately we have both been very stressed because of finals and not getting alot of sleep so that is why I think we have been fighting lately. I have always been very honest about everything but there is one thing I had kept from him. A month before we went on our first date, I was at a party and I got really drunk. I work up the next morning, alone in a bed, and I was told that I had sex with someone I didn’t even know. The people that told me I had sex with someone were guys that I used to hang out with but were not any of my best friends. When I woke up that morning, I had all of my clothes on and none of them at all had been removed. I didn’t feel like anyone had even touched me. My best friend at the time was there that night and she said she didn’t remember anything about me and this guy. I always felt guilty for keeping this from my BF but I didn’t think that I did anything with this guy. If anything did happen then I was raped for all I know. This was an event that I just kept shoving in the back of my mind because I didn’t feel that what these guys had said was true. Yesterday I told my boyfriend about this and since I didn’t know the truth and we were arguing I just came out and said I had sex with someone else before we were together, but I don’t know why I said that cause I don’t even know if it was the truth. These guys that had said it, I don’t even talk to anymore, so I couldn’t ask them the truth. But last night after I told my BF, he got so upset and said he didn’t want to talk to me, see me, or for me to even touch him. I told him that I didn’t know if this was the truth or not and explained to him the whole situation. He said that because I didn’t know for sure, then he would take it as though I did have sex with this guy and that if I got so drunk that I couldn’t remember what happened, that if it did happen, then raped because it was a cause of my own actions. I let him go to his friends house for a while to cool down. I called my friend that was there that night and she said she didn’t remember everything, but those same guys have said 2-3 times that she has slept with guys she KNOWS she hasn’t. I told him about that and he let me drive him home but he was very upset for a while and wanted me to throw out our promise rings. We ended up staying together, but I don’t know if it will ever be the same. I believe in my heart that I didn’t do anything with that guy and I wish I would have talked to my friend about it sooner, but my BF did not deserve to be lied to. I love him so much and I have never kept anything else from him and never will again. Do you think that we could ever be the same?

written by angeline, 10 December, 2010

I am in the same situation as u all are. I started like my bf when I was in my 1st year of college. I used to be a confident and a happy girl in college and had a gang of such girls around me. We used to roam about in college and had fun. I don’t talk to guys normally but if someone talks to me, I just respond to them. I just talk to guys who were known to my friends. I started liking my bf and I liked him only. I spoke to few of my guy friends at that time (2-3) but they were just friends. Even after knowing all this, my bf started liking me cause he knows am a good person and am a caring and helpful person. I did see guys but am not a flirt!! I stopped everything after knowing my bf doesn’t like it. I stopped talking to my guy friends and some of my best girl friends too. But my bf doesn’t like the way I used to be when I was in my 1st yr. he used to be very abusive to me for this. Then days passed by and I used to promise him that I won’t talk/see guys hereafter. I maintained that. Then my bf asked me to stop talking to my close friend and I did that for him. But my friend lost me and my friendship which she thought was her life. I also felt lonely but felt happy that my bf was there with me. He doesn’t like me dressing too well since he feels insecure that I may attract boys. So, I dressed up so badly to college which made me lack confidence in myself. He used to come near my class to see if I am correct. He started taking advantage of me and also think that I am seeing other guys. He says am a prostitute with my eyes. I stopped seeing other guys and even speaking to them. In my final year, as we all were going to miss college life, I spoke to all my friends(even guys but to a limit) but I lied to him that I didn’t speak to any. I dressed up well since I always wanted to be great but in front of him, I used to pretend as if I am dressing up so badly since he left college a year before. He used to tell me that he had spies around me and fear me with this. I lied to him because I don’t want to lose him for such silly things. Now, am working and he doesn’t trust me at all. He lives abroad now and says he can’t believe me. I didn’t do anything wrong and don’t know why he’s abusing me like this. He made me lie to him. He wasn’t friendly with me at any time. He used to get things from me by acting as if he’s friendly. Once, I tell the truth he starts abusing me for that. Now he’s saying he’ll get a better life partner than me and he wants a girl who is very homely and very reserved. All the time he wants me to be truthful to him but if I tell the truth, he starts pestering me with that. In office, I used to talk to my guy colleagues but just to learn things from them but cos of my bf, I had to tell tat am not talking to any guys. I know I have no other go. I love him so much and he has hurt me so much. He used to chat with girls online and used to hide that from me. I found it and asked him not to repeat it anymore and forgave him. He had to see girls when he was in school and college and also liked so many girls. He compares me with some of those girls too. He told me all this knowing that I will forgive him but he has not given such a chance to me. I love him so much and I can’t live without him. I don’t know what to do. He thinks that because I lied to him, I am bad but in spite of seeing all girls and talking to them, he is a good guy and doesn’t deserve such a bad girl (which is me) in life.

written by xoxo, 07 January, 2011

I’m in a similar predicament also. I lied to my now ex-boyfriend bout certain things and he found out, and I felt bad because he was always honest with me. I don’t know why I lied but I did anyways and I am so sorry. I don’t want him out of my life because I’m still in love with him and he’s important to my world. Many times we have had arguments and fights and vowed never to talk to each other again but we still somehow started speaking to each other again. He’s moved on now, he has a girlfriend (I think) and I want him back in my life. I don’t know what to do. I feel so embarrassed so hurt so stupid because all of this is my fault. I should never have lied in the first place. I want him back in my life so bad it hurts. What do I do? how do I move on? I don’t know how I’m going to make it without him...

written by jplayin, 28 February, 2011

i lied to the most important man in my life. it was the biggest mistake i have ever made. we are no longer together, but we are best friends. watching him everyday waiting for another chance is the hardest thing i have ever done because i am so madly in love with him. we are meant to be together, i know that in my heart, and im just waiting for the day he realizes that too. so ladies, dont lie. be honest with your boyfriends..if they love you, they will forgive you. dont hide the truth. it only causes more pain in the future. i learned that the hard way. i will never get luke back until God tells him we are meant to be together. its hard to love someone and know they dont love you back..lying is NOT worth it.

written by filled with guilt, 05 March, 2011

I shared some of my boyfriend’s deep secrets with a couple of girl friends. I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and i am deeply in love with him. He deeply loves me too and considers me the love of his life. Our relationship has hit many lows and during the course of most of them he hasn’t really been emotionally available to me. I am a very emotionally dependent person. When i couldn’t get my needed emotional support from him,i confided in my girl friends. I have never done such a thing in my previous relationships. Because i consider it a big wrong. But during those lows i confided in my friends,to share my pain and talk it out. I thought my boyfriend and me would slowly work on this aspect and then i wouldn’t have to do such things. But a week back he read a text message from a friend of mine who spoke about one of his deepest secret. He was hurt and angry. He told me he trusted me with his heart and soul and i published everything. I apologized and after a hard 1 week of begging for another chance,we are finally back together. But i wasn’t fully honest with him. I didn’t tell him the rest of the things i shared and the people i shared it with. He asked me if there was something else i had shared and i denied fearing he would leave me for good.So now according to him its just that one secret that i revealed to just that one friend. He has told me tat if such a thing happens again we will be done for sure. I am filled with guilt now. He is a nice guy and loves me a lot. He has told all his deep secrets to only me in his life. And i like a fool revealed a few to my girl friends. I can’t get to telling him the complete truth and at the same time i am scared of him finding out. I don’t wanna break him up again and don’t want a break up with him. What do i do? Please help!

written by.............., 29 April, 2011

Mine is even worse, I lied to my boyfriend about a guy who was hitting on me on Facebook, and from the beginning I told my boyfriend and he warned I get rid of him "block him" but I didn’t. I told the guy off, and he left for a while but somehow I started being nice to him after he came back hitting harder, then we chatted once and he called once too of which I told my boyfriend before he could find out but I withheld some details of the chat I had with him.
The new guy was in the states and he planned coming down for Easter and I planned a trip with my girls and included him of which he accepted. The worst thing I did was discussed my boyfriend with this new guy which was very stupid and immature on my part. I lied to my boyfriend I will be out of town during Easter and told some friends to cover up for me should my boyfriend ask them about the trip I was going.
Not only did this new guy send every message we exchanged to my boyfriend, he warned him also to be careful of the woman he is dating (me).
Well my boyfriend asked about it and I told him part of the truth because he was so mad I couldn’t tell him everything not knowing he had the truth before he even questioned me.
I feel so miserable now for being so stupid and allowing such preventable situation into my relationship. I love my boyfriend to bits and I don’t want to lose him...... he said I need time to think things over if I truly loved him never to lie and maybe cheat on him in the near future.
i cant imagine my life without him, he’s all I’ve got and I know I wont ever lie to him again.
I feel he wants to break up with me for being a liar although I assured him I wouldn’t try to date or cheat on him with anybody.
I feel so horrible right now cos some of the information I gave out to this new guy was pretty confidential and something that should never ever be heard by any other person let alone a stranger. I plan to make things right from now onwards. I will be true to him and only him. I love him.......... so much

written by Tan, 11 June, 2011

Hey..

I have just read this entire thread and every story is like mine. I haven’t cheated ever on my boyfriend but I have told SO many little lies. About my past etc.. and he always finds out. Now our trust is broken. We have no trust left... I am so hurt and broken inside because he told me today he doesn’t love me. Because off all the lies I have told him. He still thinks there is more... and he’s right. I have lied about something and I am so terrified of telling him. If I do.. I know in my heart he will leave. And I cant take that. I haven’t cheated and tbh it’s not even a massive lie. It’s the fact that I’ve his it for this long... and the fact that I’ve lied so much before. I’m so confused because I want to tell him.. I just don’t know how.. and I’m sitting here imaging if he leaves me. I wont be able to take it. I honestly do love him SO much. He doesn’t even know how much.. and me telling him this will only make things worse. God.. I really hate myself. The worst thing is the one thing my boyfriend loves is the truth.. he says it to me over and over. He begs me for it... I see him going from one extreme to the other.. such as upset and anger. All because he wants me to be honest. He swears that if I was honest we would be ok. But how can I risk that? How can I be sure he means it? How do I know that as soon as I tell him yet another secret I’ve hid.. he wont just get up n go. And I would deserve it. I know I do. I’m just a pathetic liar. I don’t mean too.. I swear. I really don’t. I never dreamt I’d be in this position. But it’s like I get scared of telling the truth because I worry he will look at me badly so I lie. Then I tell lies upon lies to keep it up cos I’m scared if he knows he will leave. but now it’s gotten so bad.. he knows I’m lying. And I know he knows. But the one thing thats stopping me from telling him is I’m PETRIFIED of him leaving me. Because I want to be with him forever... I don’t know what to do. I’ve never loved someone this much.. and I’ve never wanted to stay with someone this much.. yet all I’ve done is lie. And even now I cant tell him this one thing.. because I’m so scared. I hate myself right now. I hate that I ever lied. I wish to god I could go back in time. I feel so bad for hurting him.. and making him so paranoid etc. He thinks I’m cheating.. when I’m not. And nothing I say will make him believe me. But how can I expect his love or even deserve it when I’m lying right now. I want to hug him and just carry on being happy but deep down inside I know we never can be because I’m lying n it will come out. But I just cant bear the thought of loosing the one good thing in my life. It’s eating me up inside. I really am out of hope and answers.

written by GabbyFab, 15 June, 2011

Well I am on the receiving end of this. My boyfriend of over 2 years lied to me for 18 months about liking porn. He told me he didnt like it, and I believed him. Its not even the fact of him liking it, its just that he honestly lied to my face about who he was as a person. We have had many talks and he says he realizes how important honesty is. Im not sure how I feel about him or if I should believe him but all i want to say to everyone who has lied is

tell the truth as soon as possible. Tell the 100 percent truth. Trust me, lies hurt more then whatever the truth is. And if you admit to lies, then that shows the other person that you will admit it in the future. Admitting to lies actually builds trust because it shows them that no matter what, you respect them enough to admit to something.
Also put yourself in their shoes. What if your boyfriends did something like mine did? How would you feel to learn that he hid a part of himself. First off, its not fair to the other person to do that. Second off, your not respecting the other person. If you had respect for your partner you would realize that telling the truth is what they deserve.
It might be hard to do it, but trust me people.. honesty makes everything better in the end.

written by zahara555, 26 June, 2011

I had the exact same thing happen, same as the poster. in my situation, I lied because his demands were unreasonable.He wanted me to stop seeing my friends, and stay at home alone all the time.
It was really killing me soul and once or twice went out with girlfriends for coffee without telling him-because he had banned me from seeing them.
Now, we’re long distance,and before he left, he literally forced me to let him take pictures of me with no clothes on- it was his "insurance" that I wouldn’t do anything wrong because he threatened he would email them to my parents and post them on Facebook.
he has access to all my email accounts,and he changed my email and passwords for Facebook-so that I cant access them without him knowing.
I come from a very conservative family-and he knows that him posting those pictures or making my family aware of our relationship could mean my life. Yet, I think he would do it out of pure maliciousness. He says a liar like me deserves to die.

written by zahara555, 26 June, 2011

Angeline,my boyfriend is exactly the same as yours.
are you from an Islamic country?
It seems very common behavior of men.

written by nategrey, 11 August, 2011

Jesus. I’ve read ALL posts here, and while some of you girls deserved to be dumped by your man, MOST bfs that i’ve read here are just plain JERKS, MORONS, BABIES. Why? Well i’m a man and believe me most men would never verbally, emotionally abuse our ladyloves just because of some untold past that she covered up. I can’t even imagine hitting my girl for ANY reason at all. Men who hit women are total a**holes. I hate it when some jerk hits a girl. Women should be treated with respect even if she has done something wrong. You can say some things to let off some steam or prove your point but never swear at a girl or insult her like you own her soul. Anyway back to the topic lying about a guy you’ve flirted with or had a 1 night stand is a gasoline never ever try lying about it. Men have this territorial tendency like our girl’s body is our playing field no one should play there except us.

written by Dani – 18 yrs old, 16 August, 2011

my boyfriend recently broke up with me a few months ago after 18 months and cut off all contact with me, but didnt give me a reason why...i was so upset, it broke my heart, but after a few months i got over it and started meeting this other guy, i do have a history with this guy as weve been meeting before, and i really really like him, but my ex started speaking to me again trying to get back with me, i told him about the guy i was now meeting, and obviously my ex was angry and upset calling me nasty hurtful names, i didnt want to go back out with him but i didnt want to hurt his feelings and i wanted us to be friends as we have a history and didnt want to completely cut him out of my life, so i made the biggest mistake EVER and told my ex that i didnt really like the guy i was meeting, and that i loved my ex and that i missed him, i told him this because i knew it was what he wanted to hear and knew he’s stay in my life then. but i seriously only wanted to be friends, i dont know why i lied and said i loved him because it was a complete utter lie. to make matters worse, i lied to the guy i was meeting, saying i didnt stay in contact with my ex, i lied because i thought that he wouldnt meet me if we were still in contact...i shouldnt of lied about it. but the worst thing happened then...my ex screen shotted the conversation of my saying i loved my ex and that i missed him and didnt really like the guy i was meeting to the guy i was meeting and now he doesnt want to speak or meet me ever again, because he thinks i still love my ex (which is obviously what it looks like) but i really really dont! it was a stupid mistake and i really like the guy i was meeting, and ive betrayed his trust by lying and i dont know how i can rebuild the trust and prove to him that i dont love me ex and its only him i want, ive cut off all contact with my ex and never ever want to speak to him again, i really do hate my ex now and dont want anything to do with him, ive told the complete truth to the guy i was meeting about everything, but doesnt believe a word i say as ive already lied to him, he wont speak to me now and he’s really hurt by it, but ive apologized so much to him and i really want him back and im scared now that he’ll go and meet somebody else, ive f**ked up so bad! WHAT SHOULD I DO?!? PLEASE HELP ME!

written by Ce4e4, 24 August, 2011

Lying sucks. I was too good at lying, unfortunately. I cheated on my partner 2 years ago, and told her a few days later that we had just kissed. Then a year later, when she wanted to break up for good, I lied again and told her that I never even cheated on her.. that I only said I did because I needed an excuse out! Truth is, I never wanted to lose her. I messed up, cheated, and felt so guilty when I did that I couldn’t even tell her the whole truth. Then I went and lied about that! so messed up, I know. Well, she ended up cheating on me too (kind of) and when I found out I instantly forgave her, because I felt that I had pushed her to cheat on me, since I secretly did it to her. And we broke up this summer after 3 years because we just fight all the time. I was doing great without her, but then a friend told her the REAL truth about my cheating 2 years ago. She texted me basically telling me to die. It sucks. She hates me, and I feel like my lies are the reason for it all. I’m trying to forgive myself. I say to myself "I was 20 years old".. I made a mistake, one which I regretted instantly. But I didn’t wanna hurt her because I did truly love her. Forgiving myself is really the hardest part of all of this.. I’m really really hard on myself for the mistake that I made nearly 2 years ago.. Anyway, she hasn’t spoken to me in a month (since she found out the truth).. There’s nothing I could even say, so I tried showing her how deeply sorry I am, and then after that I just knew I shouldn’t contact her. Let her heal, ya know.

written by xx, 14 October, 2011

I lied too.. I lied to him 2 years ago about some stuffs when i just got to know him. Thinking that i will never fall for him i didn’t cared about the consequences. But after some time when we got closer, it also became harder for me to tell him the truth. He didn’t doubt me at all for these 2 years. And half month ago i finally picked up the courage to tell him the truth. But he can’t forgive me. The hurt is done but i don’t want to lose him that’s why i choose to tell him the truth. But he said he can never trust me again. I don’t know what to do now. He wants to move on but i think he still do care about me sometimes.. I did apologize.. I did everything i could.. But he decided not to stay with me anymore. I should have know everything will be gone when i tell him the truth but i don’t want to lie to him anymore. I really do love him. Hoping one day he will give his trust to me again.

written by Jessy, 21 October, 2011

I lied to my online "boyfriend" as well. Me and him chat daily, iv lied about where my parents are from and a little about myself. I feel so bad but i don’t want to tell the truth, he is coming to me soon too.. I just don’t know what to do.. maybe i will just not let him meet my parents, i seriously dont know what to do, and i don’t want to tell him this, cause then i will look so dumb and stupid..

written by Natalia, 25 October, 2011

I’m on the receiving end of lies My boyfriend and I have been dating little over 3 years and I went to war TWICE to save up enough money to move over 300 miles to be finally together with this man. We were stationed together but he moved back to Chicago after his service ended so I came to the big city to start living the lives we would talk about having together once we lived in the same city. I ended up getting pregnant and he convinced me an abortion was the best thing for a young, unestablished couple like us so I trusted him and went through with it. I’ve regretted it everyday since and wish I had my little baby in my arms. That was OUR baby made from our love for each other, the purest physical form of our love manifested into flesh. 2 weeks afterwards while I was still suffering from depression, he left his facebook open on my laptop and I found he was trying to have an ex sleep with him. The woman refused, but still...he had the intention to cheat.

That was 2 months ago and we stayed together after all the tears and screaming and he promised to delete his FB. Today I found out he reactivated his FB behind my back, all he used it beforehand was to talk to his exes. I confronted him but...I know in my heart all he’s saying again are lies. I’m trying to break up with him but he refuses to let me go. But the damage has been done and I can’t trust him fully anymore. I rather move on. I don’t want to end up being paranoid every second when he gets an email or text thinking he’s communicating with an ex for sex again. That’ll just eat me up inside everyday.

I’m such a faithful, loving, dedicated woman who went to war for this man, abandoned my family and friends to live in a city where I know no one...for what now? Why do all the people out there with good hearts who open up get stepped on? And THIS is why women go crazy too and then guys don’t understand why we end up bitter, nagging bitches, the "crazy ex"!

written by Gosh.., 27 October, 2011

so i had this ex that i was madly in love with till the end of our relationship..he joined a frat and changed..he started abusing me mentally ,cheated and did all that i was super hurt i even hated him at a point but i let that go. i then found a new guy he was the BEST i ever had..I LOVED HIM CRAZY! but my past relationship wouldnt let me..i became paranoid, very insecure etc; i let all of that get the best of me. i started checking on my ex to see if he was talking crap about me because thats usually what he did on facebook and twitter, telling rumors about me. my boyfriend found out and said i shouldnt be bother leave it alone...after a little while i stopped but then i did it again me and my bf had many fights over this..i promised i would go on my exs page again...8 months later i decided to check up on my ex just to see how he was doing no strings attached..my skype screen was sharing and my bf saw it..he was mad and broke up with me..and i feel like a complete loser..because i lost someone that meant the world to me...he thinks i still have something for my ex which is not the cae..I HAVE NOTHING FOR MY EX...after what he did to me?? never... i love my current bf (now ex) so much...TRUST IS REALLY IMPORTANT. i fear that he’ll find someone and ill be alone and still in love with him...he said i was the best thing that happend to him and i feel terrible that i made a stupid choice...OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA...MY HEART HAS HIS NAME ON IT...he doesnt wanna have a relationship with me but wants to be friends...how can i be friends with someone im madly in love with?? hes my everything..he says he loves me and if the love is real..then its permanent....im so afraid of what will happen..I DONT WANT TO LOSE HIM..my world, my heart...I LOVE HIM

written by Jine, 14 November, 2011

I lied to my boyfriend last night, for the first time in all our 5 years together. I even don’t know why I lied, I was out with my friends and I told him I was somewhere else. He was there and asking me I cant see you, and then I told I am here and I asked him to come. He came and saw me with my friends, and he cant understand why I lied to him. And even me I cant understand why I said to him that. I feel like the worst person in the world. I know that now he is not believing in nothing that I have said, or done. I feel the worst and the stupidest person in the world. I don’t have reason why I lied, if I had I believe I would feel better, and even he would feel better. He would have one reason to understand why I did that. I feel I destroyed 5 years of building our relationship. But the worst thing that I have done is that in his heart and mine all our relationship is lie from now on. He will think that I lied to him everyday. I am destroyed when I think about this, when I think that he will lose the faith to our life together. If he will not be with me anymore I’ll understand, but how to make him believe that I never lied to him before. Ohhh I destroyed his confidence. I love him to much, I have no eyes for other man, I have no heart for other man, I don’t want to lose him, but right now is not the most important think to me. In this moment I just want to have one idea what to do to make him understand that I never lied to him before, how to make him believe that I was committed to this relationship with all my heart and my mind, how to make him believe in us even if this us is going to be just the past?
I think I am crazy or stupid, why else I would do what I have done. I need help, I need somebody to tell me something....

written by Real., 18 November, 2011

If your partner really is Truely IN-LOVE WITH YOU, although you cheated and not being faithful. Yes it will kill your spirit, but if your partner Really Love you, your Partner will give you a second Chance.

written by Help!!, 27 November, 2011

Hey, I need help
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for just over a year now, after 2 months of dating, I cheated on him with his friend but I told him about it the day it happened- we managed to work things out and he forgave me. The past year, we’ve been extremely happy and we both love each other sooo much.
Recently, he found out that the month after I cheated on him, I cheated on him again with the same person. It’s been a year I’ve cheated on him but since he’s only finding out about it now, it doesn’t really make a difference that it was a year ago or not.
He’s hurting so much and we want to work things out again because we love each other and I can’t imagine myself with anyone else ever again.
He has introduced me to his entire family and we’ve done everything together- I’ve truly never been happier in my entire life!
I want to be with him so badly and I want to fix things but I can’t help but feel selfish for staying with him after what I’ve done to him. Even though I KNOW I would never cheat on him again, I can’t help but feel like he deserves much better than me but I love him so much and I can’t be without him, which makes this all the more difficult.
We’re talking and I slept over at his house cause I thought it would make things just a little better but it really didn’t. He’s not the type to cry, he doesn’t even cry at family funerals but he’s been crying non-stop for the past 3 days and he hasn’t eaten- this makes me realize just how much I hurt and how much I mean to him.
How do I take away his pain? How do I fix things between us? Should I let him go for his sake no matter how difficult it may be on either of us?
He says I’m the one who should get us out of this mess since I’m the one who got us here in the first place, which is true but I just don’t know what to do. He can’t even look at me without being disgusted and he says he doesn’t hate me but I think a part of him wishes he did.
I love my boyfriend so much and I don’t want to lose him. What can I do???

written by..., 27 November, 2011

guys i have been in this position, ive lied to my bf twice now and his had evidence right in front of him i lost his trust, we had a little break where we both took some time off and now im putting things right, through that break i saw my mistakes and learned how to deal with them and make things better. learn to appreciate your partners and show them you do, help them gain trust in you again and if they really do love you and want to be with you for the rest of their lives, they would still be there..

written by toniahill, 09 December, 2011

i lie to my bf how can i get him back i love him so much

written by vanessa :o, 09 December, 2011

Yeaah we all make stupid mistakes
I lied to my bf of 3 years and I hurt him so bad that now all he thinks about when he sees me is all the pain I’ve brought him, then he gets angry at me. But I’ve apologized millions of times and told him how sorry I was, EVERYTHING. I know he loves and cares about me deep down he even said that he has a soft spot for me still, he was my first love and I was his strongest love. I am still in love with him and I know I want to be with him but its to late cuz he’s already talking to some other girl.. and I can’t help but think she’s probably better than me and
everything im not. But since he can’t forgive me for the past I can’t forgive myself, we were young and in love of course ur gonna make mistakes. He says I haven’t changed. But I have moved on to another guy that loves me a lot but I still have that spot for my ex. He knows how I feel abt em, but I hate to think that if my ex ever wanted me back it’d go back in a heartbeat. But I feel better cuz I just think to myself if we were truly meant to be, he’ll come back in the future. You just have to wait and see.

written by Emliz, 10 December, 2011

I lied to my boyfriend about talking to my ex. I know, it seems unforgivable! My ex walked out of my life and after 3 months he popped out of nowhere to apologize. It sent me into shock and I lied after talking to him for a day my bf went through my phone and saw the texts. He’s not upset that we were chatting because it was all small talk, but when he asked me about it, I lied to his face. Now we are slowing things down. Its so hard to have patience and give him space when I just want to crawl into his arms and he tell me its ok. We only texted and havent talked on the phone in 5 days and tomorrow will be a week since the whole ordeal. I feel broken.

written by No name, 13 December, 2011

I had ONS w/a guy when I first having a break after dating my Bf for a week, after things were better w/my Bf...I went to a trip w/that guy again, but we didn’t have sex this time.
After 3 months dating w/Bf, I know he’s the one for me, and he loves me very much too. He asked me to come clean few weeks ago, and I did tell him all him lies I’ve made. He accepted me.
During he whole time after I came clean and promised I won’t do anything to hurt him or lie to him again...even thought we were happily together, we also cried together almost everyday...so I decided to lie to him again, saying that nothing actually happened between me and the other guy...I don’t know if it’s gonna work or not
Since I heard from the gf of the guy I slept with, he has sex disease while that time I’ve been w/him...if I can prove myself that I don’t have any diseases, I can tell this lie that I didn’t sleep w/that guy right?

written by Tdeemahdeekuh, 16 December, 2011

Oh my god. I was on here because I had lied to my boyfriend and he broke up with me. I was devastated and thinking that what I’d done was just a small lie so not so bad blah blah etc. But after reading everyone’s stories and hearing all the different ways you all justify what you did, I am less sad that my boyfriend broke up with me because I now realize I don’t deserve to be with him. A lie is a lie no matter what and most of you are horrible people for your terrible moral standards. And I can’t believe how much shit some of you put up with from guys- letting them take naked pictures of you as "insurance" or abuse you? WTF is wrong with you?! Have some self respect and become better people. Thanks everyone for helping me see how pathetic I was.

written by I dont understand!, 20 December, 2011

Hi, I am gay and my boyfriend and I have bee together for almost 4 years now. It all started after i have been pretty sick with bronchitis about a week ago. I noticed that he was taking his cell with him every where that he went but i just shrugged it off like it was no big deal. Well then that Saturday cam and we were hanging out with a couple of friends well he was drinking and acting very distant. W=ell when we got home he went to his office and I laid on the couch about 2:30 a.m. I hear him talking to someone on the phone in his office so I went in to see who he was talking to and he said his mom. Which I really didnt think about since his mom works nights. I came into work Monday morning and needed to call his mom for some reason and could not remember her number and then I thought oh I know i can just get it off the phone records since he just talked to her Saturday. Well I got it and call it and to my surprise it was not his mother it was some guy. So I look up this number to see how many text/calls were made back and forth. There was only 3 calls one was for 2 min one for 7 mins and the last for 150 mins. So when I get home that night i confronted him by say I am going to give you one more chance and tell me who you were talking to Saturday night. Then he tells me it was his boss which I knew it was not by that point he would never tell me who it was so I told him who it was and his face just dropped like how the hell did I figure it out. Well i told him I wanted it to stop and I wanted to know what the pics were of that they sent back and forth and he said just face shots but he claims that it is just a friend and I told him that friends dont do this shit and and if they were just friends then why did he lie to me twice about and he said he was afraid i would freak which now i am!!!! I told him I did not car if the talked and were just friends but I wanted the lying,pictures,and hiding about it to stop! He said okay and told me that he knew he was in the wrong and that we needed to work on our relationship. I said okay and we left it at that well about 20 mins later he was pissed at me tell me that I may have caused his to lose a friend and I managed to make him and his friends feel like a whore?!?!?!? WHAT??? I told him if anyone did that to you it was yourself. Needless to say now he will barely talk to me or look at me. I love him a lot and I want to try and work through this but why do I feel like the bad guy? Did I do anything wrong can someone tell me?

written by Broen heart, 01 January, 2012

Me. And my boyfriend broke up because he told me many lies about his background and so many other little things. After while we gave it a try, and even though he is saying he loves me and all that but again he did the same stupid mistakes and lied to me again about the girls he is in contact with. So we call it off. I love him too though it sounds very stupid but the truth is u cant ever ever trust a person again once u ve been lied to. And no matter how many times u give it a try, same things would happen again. once a liar always a liar even if they say they love u

written by hopelessly hurt, 11 January, 2012

I have been with my girlfriend for a little over six months. she lies and hides things from me constantly. she has been distant lately, spending less time with me, changing plans, being less loving. whenever she texts she hides her phone from me, I ask her who shes texting and she tells me its her mom or her sister or something but wont show me her phone, she takes it with her wherever she goes, and never lets me see it. she is also constantly texting. I have been suspicious of her cheating for a while now so I went on her Skype account. she told me all the time that she only Skypes with her grandma, and one time while we were video chatting shes was typing to someone and said it was her grandma. when I got onto her skype, not only did she not have her grandma as a contact, she was having conversations with two guys. she was doing sexual things with the guys over the cam, and she told them how much she loved them, and she talked about wanting to have sex with them. she invited them to sneak over at night so that they could have sex. I have confronted her about all this and she promises they didn’t do anything and were just talking but never met up. I don’t know whether or not to believe her. she also doesn’t seem to feel that bad about what she did. this isn’t the first time things like this have happened either. she has sent naked pics to guys while we have been dating too. I think that I should break up with her because I feel like she doesn’t even want to be with me but I love her so much that I cant let her go

written by rocksteady gal, 09 February, 2012

HI there
I am kind of going through the same thing, I have recently broke up with my partner of 7 years and he feels he doesnt trust me, I havent lied to him about major stuff but a few white lies, its only as he has a bit of a temper at times and its just easier to not hide things but dont ever lie about the huge things or at all for that fact.

It is really true when they say the truth will set you free, after you have told the truth dont you feel so much better? I know I did, and we are still on talking terms everyday, and it breaks my heart to know I even told him white lies, because a lot of the time when we lose trust its for good, and I am sure you are good person and you will learn from this.

Please dont make the same mistake I have, I have lost the love of my life and I dont know if I will ever get him back, and it kills me everyday, I suggest talking to someone about it and find out the route of why you lied.

Good luck

written by hurts so baadd, 13 February, 2012

Ok, SO I LIVE IN NY, AND MY EX FROM WHEN I WAS 17 STARTED HANGING AROUND THE PARK OF WHICH I LIVE! I have a boyfriend of 3 years, I am 24 years old. Well he met my ex in the park because we live right there, he has asked me so many times if I dated him and I always said no, I DON’T KNOW WHY I LIED I GUESS TO SPARE HIS FEELINGS, so today I told him and he is leaving me and called me a hoe and liar, he has done wrongs I don’t do much wrong but funny how I can forgive him but he never forgives me he wants to know everything about my past so now he does but I still feel like shit but its not so serious it was eight years ago. I don’t know I Don’t understand it at all.

written by hurt girl, 30 March, 2012

I’m 14 I lied to my 15 year old bf what happened is I had an ex who REALLY hurt me and he broke-up with me well the next day he asked me back out I said yes but this time to fake a relationship with him on hopes of playing and hurting him like he did me then the new guy comes along my now bf and he asked me out I said yes bcuz my relationship with my ex was just fake and a game I set up but now yesterday my bf found out he went on my ex’s facebook and found that he had on there that we are in a relationship and before he had asked me about my ex and I told him that he didn’t need to worry that we was over and nothing between us but he found out the real truth yesterday I tried to explain to him and apologize tons of times and tell him why I did it he said he understood but he is just hurt that I didn’t just tell him I was faking a relationship with my ex ad he said he is very hurt I lied to him but I said it was meant for my ex not him but he said he still is very hurt and he thought i was better than that and different and he feels that to a certain extent I was cheating on him with my ex I said no I was more like cheating on my ex with you bcuz I got you before my ex but needless to say he is still very hurt i apologized explained why I did it but he still won’t let it go but yet he hasn’t dumped me yet he said he is confused. and needless to say my ex found out about the game I was playing on him and he got hurt by it well that’s what I wanted to happen but i told my bf i broke up with my ex and stopped the fake game but he doesn’t believe me so I got my ex hurt which is what I was trying to do but i got my bf hurt too! and i did not want that so I have done all i can do but i’m just hoping my bf will forgive me. I actually came on here for advice to get on this lying situation to get my bf to forgive me I don’t care if my ex ever forgives me bcuz that’s what this game was for to get him out of my life but i just hope I didn’t lose my bf also in the game along with my ex bcuz that was not my intention i’m just so sad and confused and hurt bcuz I hurt myself my bf and ex when the game was just set up to hurt my ex.

written by broken present from the past., 19 April, 2012

Where do i start! um me and my bf have been together for almost 6 years, before this relationship I had a sugar daddy, no sex he just paid me for company. I told my bf that he was my uncle don’t ask me why, I just didn’t think that i would have to answer this question so i freaked and thats what came out of my mouth,plus i was still seeing the sugar daddy because i was used to the cash flow and i knew my new bf at the time couldn’t look after me like that and i felt that i wasn’t doing anything wrong other than not telling him. Well he didn’t up finding his number on my phone and txtn him and he replied saying all this shit like he where sleeping together which never ever happened. my bf became more paranoid
until he saw my sister one day and asked her who this uncle was,of course my sister didn’t know him and i didn’t think to tell her and he hit me up about it. So i ended up coming clean and telling him the truth,he was hurt and i felt sick what i had done to him so I promised him i wouldn’t contact him again and i will leave the country to prove how much i meant it. So i went to Sydney to stay with family, everything fell through with my family there they all where moving up the coast so i ended up staying with my bf dad i found a job and worked my ass of to get to London to see more family before i went back home. I kept to my promise and never spoke to him again. Next thing i know he is checking my emails and found i had been on a sugardaddy website. I wasn’t even thinking i honestly did it for a laugh, well it wasn’t funny after that. i told him the truth but he didn’t believe me anyway i come back from London and everything was great for at least 2 years. Just the other day this dad calls him saying he had broken his phone and he find my old one i had left in my bfs room. he told my bf that there was these txts on there saying things like can i see you again at the brothel? I had no idea what he was on about. I cant even remember what i had for dinner 3 days ago let alone 2 years my bf called me going crazy i didn’t know what was going on it took me a few min after the phone call to remember that i had let a work friend use it because she had smashed her and she would give it back once hers was fixed,she have it back a few weeks later and i didn’t even think about checking it i just put it in my bfs draw and 2 years later i get accused by my bfs dad that I’m a hooker! they both think that i was i cant believe what is happening right now. He doesn’t want to see me and I’m so devastated that his dad would think that of me I’m so angry confused and hurt i don’t know what to do or say i have never cheated on him. but I’m in this awkward position and he is too so i pretty much have to let him go when i love him so much and i didn’t do anything wrong but for his dad sake he probably take his word and break up with me. and there is nothing i cant do about it..Oh Well i will never lie to a man i love and i will never lent a phone out again. or leave my fb or emails logged in sucks that as women we lie to save the guy from hurt or getting into trouble or hide things from them because they will just kick off, we should be with men that make us lie like this we shouldn’t have to lie. That is all.

written by im_nobody, 23 April, 2012

Earning trust back is difficult. It may or may not be repaired depending on the KIND OF LIE you said. No matter how good your intentions are for lying, its still a lie. Love can sometimes be learned but not so much with TRUST once its damaged. I’ve been in both places, I’ve been lied to and I lied as well. I can tell both places are not pleasant. It’s very painful and it’s really hard to give/earn trust back if you decide to make it work. Everything is like a "walk in the park" when you get through it though. If things don’t work out however, then its "LESSON LEARNED"(if you are paying attention) and you know better next relationship you’ll have.

Best of luck.

written by Kelvin Ross, 26 June, 2012

I think it’s all BULLSHIT that someone like me who once lived alone in an apartment almost worry free until I thought I met an honest individual been with long enough to gratefully get a loving son together in all to find out just how much I really can’t TRUST ANY 1 EVER even til DEATH due to me trusting this person to do what they FAKED wanting to so call leave home to do better in life to find out HOME was really where I should have them from the moment we ever saw 1 another because for some reason they WORSHIP their FRIENDS & FAMILY over our lord JESUS CHRIST and yet still GO to CHURCH yeah finally a damn period. I FUCK UP allowing them to move in with me to find out they wanted attention from their FAMILY to help get them kick out of a place of peace to go stay back in a cluster FUCK with a child they have now along with a BABY on the WAY not thinking clear while now staying back home with they parents. By the way did I mention DON’T EVER FALL 4 DA I WANT A BETTER FUTURE BULLSHIT SPEECH FROM NO FEMALE OF ANY RACE HUMAN NOR ALIEN!!!!!

written by Jrod294, 09 January, 2013

My girlfriend lied about talking to ex twice....once when we started dating (9 months ago) and then again a few days ago.

The first time I caught her I took a day to think about if I wanted to continue the relationship. I remembered that people tend to make mistakes (I know I have) and decided I would give her a second chance. We talked, she apologized and promised it would never happen again (talking to ex or lying). I was never able to fully trust her after that, but my worry did fade in time.

9 months later, we make up after a big fight and her phone rings with a text as she gets in the shower. She asks me to read it to her because she thinks it’s related to work. It turns out its her ex saying "I can’t wait to see you".

I was....LIVID!! She put so much stock in trust and fidelity before! I thought I was dreaming!

When I confronted her, she stumbled over her words trying to make excuses. When I rejected her excuses and asked why she lied to me again, all she could say is "I don’t know...I just didn’t want to fight." I ended the relationship right then and there.

Not wanting to fight is NOT a good reason to lie. I am much more angry about being lied to than the fact she was talking to her ex. I wasn’t sure if she even feels bad about it because I haven’t spoken to her since it happened, but seeing how some ladies here have responded, I would bet she probably does.

At this point, I don’t see myself going back to her. I don’t know anyone that would be ok with a situation like this. I think the advice in the response to this poster is sound....you have to apologize because its right and let what happens next happen. After lying to your man, you forfeit all control over the relationship. The ball is in his court...

written by fire, 07 February, 2013

Jrod this is very similar to yours I hope u can relate, except I’m the other guy and I being treated like shit.
this girls boyfriend of 3 1/2 years dumped her last year and said he never wanted to speak to her again. We started seeing each other and have been seeing each other constantly the last 10 months but it was never a relationship, always in between friends and lovers although we spent at least 3 days of the week together and we both liked each other a lot. So he comes back in the picture and I found out and she stresses to me they not getting back together but they still each other and speak. So she suddenly goes cold on me and starts ignoring me for no reason and when I ask her why she says our brains need a break from everything and I asked her if she was back with him and she says no.I don’t contact her for almost 3 weeks and then I sent her a msg telling her I missed her and care about her loads and don’t want to lose her even as just a friend and if they back together I can understand, I just want to talk to her again. She calls me crying and says he saw the msg and now he never wants to talk to her again. I apologize and said I never wanted him to read it, it was meant for her only. The next day she sends me msg saying I hate you. And the next day message me non stop saying I ruin her life and she hates me I must never talk to her again... that msg was private for her only, I would never have wanted him to see it. And how messed up is is he reads all her messages. Crazy she hates me now cos she lied to him about me probably and now he hates her for lying.

written by Sugarpiehoneybunchcandylips, 09 February, 2013

My boyfriend broke up with me a couple days ago because i lied. We were together for about 8 months and i have never once lied to him. He called me his ex and got mad at me for getting mad at him. But i understood the situation knowing that he has a daughter with his ex and has to see her to talk about their daughter. Well the next day after arguing and said dont talk to him (to give him space) i went to hang with my friends house that night and they ended up having a party. I went with a guy friend there since he lived down the road and offered a ride instead of wasting my gas. Well my guy friend offered to take me home and it was 12am and i was like nah go home i will find a ride home. I was with my best friend and her boyfriend the whole night. My best friends boyfriend took me home around 2am. My boyfriend and i talked the next day and i told him that the guy i got a ride with left at 11 not 12 and i told him that i didnt really drink ( i only had 2 shots). He found out that i lied and now he doesn’t trust me. It was a white lie and i honestly dont know why i lied. We talked two days after he broke up with me and said to let him calm down and if his feelings change then we can try again. Last night i texted him again saying im sorry and i miss him. We started talking and he said he doesnt think he can forgive me.I love him so much. I promised to never lie again and im hoping he has a change of heart and forgives me because i honestly believe we can make new memories to forget the ones that hurt us. I do love him and i wont ever lie to him again... :/ im so broken right now though.

written by Roheen, 16 March, 2013

I SIMPLY DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY IT’S HARD FOR PEOPLE NOT TO TELL LIES TO THE ONES THEY LOVE. IS THERE ANYONE WHO CAN TELL WHY IT’S HARD FOR THEM?