How do I help my adult son deal with his compulsive lying?

My 25-year-old son is a compulsive liar. He just got out if the army and lives in another state. I have caught him in many lies and told him I love him unconditionally no mater who or what he is.

I have also asked him to be more honest with me, but he still lies. So I don’t know what is fact and what is fiction.

Help? I have begged him to get counseling; he says he has. Do I fly to where he is and catch him face-to-face in his lies and beg him to come home?

Do I help him or leave him alone?

Response:

Someone who lies compulsively usually has an underlying personality disorder (see compulsive lying).

It is difficult to deal with such individuals because their behavior is so damaging both to themselves and others. But, the problem stems from the fact that you cannot force someone to get help who is not truly motivated to get help.

You can tell your son you love him and support him and will be there when he is serious about dealing with the issues he is facing. Trying to sort out fact from fiction is a never-ending process and one that is wise to avoid. It can be difficult to watch someone struggle with their issues and not seek help.

When you are feeling stressed, focus on doing something positive for yourself – exercise, meditate, seek out support, etc. If you find ways to deal with the stress your son causes you, you will be in a better position to support him when he is serious about getting the help he needs. Until then, there is not much you can do.

confront lying

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