My boyfriend lied to avoid meeting my friends
I have been dating a fabulous guy for just over two months. On average we see each other a couple times a week. There’s great chemistry between us and we get along well, have good conversation and great sex.
Recently, I invited him to meet up with some friends of mine after work for a casual happy hour. I called the night before and he readily accepted and thanked me for the invitation.
However, when I called him from the bar to see if he was coming over, he told me he had another engagement to go to. I later found out that this event was bogus and didn’t happen.
If he’s scared of making a commitment, should I continue dating him?
Was it just too soon to ask him to meet my friends?
There are many reasons why someone would lie to get out of this type of social obligation. Maybe he’s shy and doesn’t like meeting new people, maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he needed some time to himself, the list could go on.
Moreover, it can be very difficult to interpret any behavior correctly based on a single incident. If you can, try to keep an open mind, until you notice a consistent pattern of behavior emerging.
But, if you are anxious about his level of commitment, learning how to deal with it constructively, by giving him more space, usually works better than trying to press the issue. If he is afraid of commitment, talking to him about it so early on will only push him further away (see attachment styles).
And if you do decide to talk to him about his lying, it often helps to focus on how his behavior made you feel, rather than on what he did (see confront lying).
Hope this helps.
I have my own question to ask
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