Voice message reveals my boyfriend cheating on me
Cheating boyfriend, lying boyfriend, denies infidelity, worth saving, unpleasant discovery
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and we’ve been through a lot of stuff together. I just recently listen to my voicemail from November and heard my boyfriend having sex with another woman while he is at work. He must have accidently butt dialed me while having sex. I asked my boyfriend about it and he says what I heard on my phone wasn’t true. It wasn’t him. He keeps lying about it and won’t admit it. What should I do?
Response:
Sorry to hear about your situation. If the call was from your boyfriend’s phone and you heard him having sex with someone else, it’s probably wise to trust the evidence you have rather than your boyfriend’s denials. Research shows that most infidelity comes to light by accident (see how deception gets discovered) and many people will lie about cheating even when confronted with solid evidence of their wrongdoing (see husband won’t confess).
You also say that you’ve been through a lot of stuff together. If the latest incident you describe fits a larger pattern of your boyfriend not treating you with love, kindness, and respect, than it may be helpful to reflect on why you’re in a relationship where your boyfriend’s behavior isn’t in your best interest. Relationships work best when both partners go out of their way to make sure the other person’s needs and wants are taking seriously (see healthy relationships).
Research also shows that happiness in a relationship declines after the two-year mark, especially when there are underlying issues that need to be addressed. Rather than trying to get your boyfriend to admit to cheating on you, it might be better to spend your time evaluating your relationship. Despite how much you love your boyfriend, are you getting what you want out of your relationship (see is my relationship worth saving).
Once you evaluate your relationship, it also helps to do a reality check: Do you think you and your boyfriend can fix the problems you’ve identified? If not, it may be time to consider your exit strategies. Almost always, leaving a problematic relationship is in one’s long-term best interest.
cheating boyfriend | denies infidelity | lying boyfriend | unpleasant discovery | worth saving
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