I still want to be with my lying, cheating girlfriend

Why did she lie when I provided evidence of her infidelity? I travel quite a lot in my job. I visited her two days prior to Valentine’s Day and, of course, we had sex. I never finished because her son woke up crying (across the hall, mind you).

She started distancing herself on Valentine’s Day, and our communication starts dwindling severely. She then told me she was pregnant with twins two weeks later. She sent me an ultrasound that I knew was stolen from the Internet. So I searched it on an image search engine and sure enough, I found the same exact ultrasound on the list. When I confronted her about it, she lied to me.

I took it for what it was and we moved on. She then asks me if she could delete her social media account and I said okay. Instead, I find that she has blocked me and my friends and family, but that I can access her account from someone else’s. When I confronted her about this, she lied and even cried, begging me not to leave her. So I gave in and let it go.

But our communication continued to dwindle. For the last two weeks of our relationship, we almost never talked at all. For instance, when we would talk nearly all day before, it was maybe one or two texts from her every other day. A few days ago, I created another social media account and searched for her account. What I found was appalling! Her profile picture was of her with another man holding her son! I clicked on it and the guy had left a comment saying, "I love it." I went to his account and clicked on another picture of them and the comments left were from his mother stating that she was so happy that she was going to be her daughter-in-law and that her son was to be her grandson.

He left a comment saying that she was the best thing to ever happen to him, and she had left a comment saying the same thing. He had even left one saying they were moving to another state this summer. When I confronted her about it, she lied again, saying he was just a friend. I told her to please tell me the truth and I would be willing to work through it. But she continued to lie.

After a very heated argument, I told her to forget me and everything between us. I blocked and deleted her number from my phone and removed all pictures and conversations off my phone of her. It normally only takes me about a day to get over a woman. But this time, I canget her off of my mind! We both said some horrible things to each other that day, and I want to contact her and try again to work through this.

I want to give her another chance. But should I do this? Or should I leave her be? And if so, what are some helpful tips on forgetting her? I still love the woman who lied to me, who got pregnant by someone else behind my back and even engaged. I’m hurt, but unfortunately, still in love like a fool. I need help.

Response:

Based on the information you provided, the woman you love has cheated on you, lied to you, and she is already in another relationship. She does not respect you or want to be with you.

It hurts to be rejected no matter what. It hurts even more when the person rejecting you is not direct and straightforward about it. Rejecting someone indirectly can cause a lot of confusion. And when people are confused or uncertain, they spend more time thinking about the situation because they want to make sense of it.

It is natural for you to be thinking about this issue. However, if you can take a step back, this is someone who isn’t telling you the truth or someone who wants to be with you. Relationships only work when 1) they are grounded in reality (the truth) and 2) both parties want the same thing. Neither of these is true in your case.

Our best advice is to stop checking on her. This only fuels your uncertainty leading you to think about her more often than is wise. The best way to get over situations like this is to break all contact and focus on a hobby or activity that 1) keeps your mind distracted and 2) will lead to positive outcomes for you in the future.

Of course, this is easier said than done, but once you accept the fact that a relationship between the two of you cannot work, the sooner you will be able to focus on taking care of yourself.

 cheating girlfriend | end of relationship | lying girlfriend

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