Past Comments – My wife no longer has feelings for me

Dump Her
written by Mo Money Mo Problems, 14 January, 2007

Like the movie Bronx Tale puts it.... " DUMP HER........she’s a pig and she can’t be trusted." Trust me, this happened for a reason, you probably did something in your past and what comes around goes around. Please, just learn from it and fid someone who loves you for who you are NOT who you aren’t!!! Trust me you will be down for a little but just surround yourself with people who truly love you, family & friends and MOVE ON!! Please listen to me. Best wishes.

Listen to the advice you have been given
written by Nancy12, 16 January, 2007

Listen to the advice you have been given and please ignore the comment above. I too was in your situation but have refused to give up on 19 years of marriage. I have been patient and understanding, my husband has even moved out, but, we have now turned our relationship around and become closer than we were before. When his relationship with the other woman hit a rough patch, I was there for him and asked no questions. Today, he comes back to our house at weekends and one day during the week. He speaks about decorating our house and going on holiday together. Hopefully, its only a matter of time before he moves back in permanently. How did all this happen you might ask! Because I understood why he did it and how it can happen to anyone, but I refused to give up and still treated him with respect. Thanks to this page I now understand a lot more about relationships and what makes us behave the way we do.

My Wife No Longer Has Feelings For Me
written by jd, 06 February, 2007

Thanks Nancy12, I’m not ready to just give up anyway I promised to give my wife my best and that is what I intend on doing. I wish I knew exactly how to do it but I’m confident that I will find a way.

written by boogaboo, 26 September, 2009

im dying inside

written by heart broken, 02 October, 2009

im in a very similar situation now. She had an emotional affair, is not connected to me at all, and i’m not sure she can again. I go through periods of love and hate. i want to work it out and i want to kick her out. If i give her time to sort out her feelings (shes ended the emotional affair) what should i expect? i’m having a very hard time being patient and fear its the end of our marriage.

written by Ac, 15 January, 2010

I guess I am in an similar situation. My wife of almost two years is having an emotional affair. We have been fighting a lot before because she wants to limit my life – that I cannot have female friends. Now, after she met this guy, we have been fighting a lot because she said i want to limit hers. She wants to make friends with this guy and said that it is jsut friends. But I found flirtatious SMS’s passing on between them and many SMS’s a day. And now, she completely doesn’t care about where I go or who I meet as long as I leave her alone because she wants her own life back.

Well, I say it is time to take a step back and not care anymore.

written by neil feb 14 2010, 14 February, 2010

i too have had too leave a 21 year marriage,i push her away by not being there i chose too drink with so called friends now im living with my parents. sober for 34 days but she tells me she has no feelings for me.i too found out she having emotional affair a guy she could talk too. im hoping time will heel.because we have so much together 3 boys our home for 20 years. my jealousy drove me too the argument that sent me packing i should have seen counseling as option not rage.

written by Frustrated, 15 February, 2010

I am in the same situation....13 years and 5 children. Been here through thick and thin and will most likely continue being that way. I am tired of being upset and depressed. I guess I just don’t understand. I have a great career and have been able to give her more than I ever dreamed, not that that is the answer, because I am also here emotionally and very supportive of her. It just gets to a point where you are so confused and upset that you don’t know what to do. I mean 5 small kids and then this crap. I have tried to explain that marriage is a job, not a free ride for 2 people. It takes work, specially when there are 5 children involved and there is no time for one another at times. Just had to get my 2 cents out there...I can only pray she changes and opens her heart and eyes to the situation.

written by Done1, 19 March, 2010

Women/wives cheat more often than most people think -it is a common misconception that they don’t. Women are more likely to have emotional affairs but these can very quickly turn into physical affairs.

For husbands that are suspicious – don’t naively think your wife is incapable of cheating. Has your wife told you this yet: "I love you but I’m not in love with you." It’s a common statement made by those having an affair.

Unfortunately, women are more likely to end the marriage to pursue their affair. Something else you should know is that women/wives that "walk away" from marriages are far less likely to come back than men/husbands that walk away.

Do what the response in the article says. Improve yourself and find out what the other man is providing that you are not. If you find yourself in a spot where your wife wants to leave and end the marriage DO NOT beg her to stay and pursue her. This will push her away even more (no female likes a clingy pathetic man). Go out and get a life and work on you. Make yourself more attractive and learn from whatever mistakes you made.

written by jackel, 19 January, 2011

i have been married 21 years and my anniversary is today. My wife told me about 3 months ago that she was unhappy and thinking of leaving.Looking back on out lives I dont blame her. I have never physically abused her and we seldom argue. But I have not for the past 10 years adored her and loved her like I should. The intimacy that should be there dried up a long time ago and I take full blame for this. I love and adore my wife but know that she no longer has that real passion for me. She has been texting a 25 year old saying she wishes he was there. I know it has not turned physical but it feels almost as bad. I have spiraled into a pit of depression lately and find it hard to get out of. We began counseling today and that didnt help it just bought up the comment from her that she didnt know if she could get the feeling back for me. What do I do?

written by lonely one, 27 January, 2011

After more than 30 years, it is apparent that my wife has lost all interest in me. She spends all her time with her female friends and at work. Usually she arrives home (a five minute drive) after 7 pm. Then she goes to the bedroom and watches television until she falls asleep. If I come to the bedroom she just says she is tired and closes her eyes. There is nothing left for me. Maybe I never really loved her either. I now fantasize about past girl friends from years ago and try to locate them on the internet. As for romance or passion or emotional connection, there is no longer any intimacy, and her life is entirely separate from mine. As a final parting gesture, I have arranged a trip to Europe and a cruise in conjunction with picking up a Mercedes or my wife. Maybe she will have fond memories when I pass away. Frankly, since there is nothing left, why hang around?

written by M.Rivers, 20 July, 2011

I cheated on my wife, she did everything she could to save our marriage. After a bit over a year of her finding out of my affair. I had phone contact with the other woman, to find out if she had, had a baby she was "expecting", I did not consult this with my wife. The other woman took advantage of the situation, and contacted my wife saying all kinds of things, making it seem as if I was cheating on my wife again, which I was not. Now my wife has given up, but I will not, I have gotten closer to God, and I pray up to 3 times a day so that our Lord touches her heart. I am very sorry I failed her, and it is 14 years, and 2 kids, that I owe them the opportunity to have a happy home. I am willing to do anything, but she has given up. What can I do, to get her to fall in love with me again? I am desperate.

written by sam123, 03 August, 2011

my wife is having an emotional affair, i have loved her every day for eight years. i thought i made her happy i work hard and devote my time to our house and son. i started working nights six months ago thinking the extra money would enable us to do more together. she said she wanted to leave but i convinced her to stay and fight for our relationship. she still texts her new man and is unable to say she loves me i dont know what to do.Tell her to cease contact or wait and just keep trying to make her see what we have.This is so hard my heart breaks every time i say i love you and hear...silence

written by KAM, 08 August, 2011

I recently found myself in a similar situation. My wife of almost 5 years told me that she has feeling for another man. She assured me that nothing has happened and that the other guy doesn’t even know she has feeling for him. I was distrait at first but after listening to her reasoning behind it she wasn’t getting her needs met by me. I know my biggest problem is communication. I had given her the choice for divorce but she said she would stay because its what is best for the family and that she would not put her happiness above making the family unhappy. I just hope that i can get help and I can fill her needs again like i once did

written by lowrider, 15 August, 2011

I am in a situation where I have been married to my wife for almost 19 years and together for 21 years. Like most of you, I found out that she was having an emotional affair with a much younger guy and that she was also no longer in love with me. But she was prepared to give this guy the flick and see if we could work through it but then another much bigger issue arose because of something I used to try in the bedroom during sex which i knew she didnt like but never realized was eating away at her bit by bit. There is now no one else involved however she has told me that through what I continually did, that I have broken her. I believe her and it virtually destroys me where I stand to know that I have been responsible for her feeling this way.

I am set to move out of our home in a few weeks but have told her that I will seek help with my issues in order to deal with them and become a much better person for it. I will only be around the corner and will always be on hand to provide help, financial assistance and love for the children and her. I have also told her that I will not give up on us but she is not sure that this is what she wants but I am willing to see what happens. She is willing to go one step at a time so that is something positive for us but her position is that she does not know if she will ever want to have sex with me as right now, she wonders if she will ever be able to love, Does anyone out there have a similar story to tell and what happened to them?

written by charles 100, 27 November, 2011

yesterday my wife texted me, telling me that she has a feeling for another guy, i calmed down and i asked her so many things, the guy is working in the office with my wife, right now i have been thinking whether ti kick her out or not, we dont have a kid, pour marriage is 1 yr old, am out of my country for studies, every time she brings me problems even during exams i wonder if she really loves me, i feel like to kick her out because am the one who took her to university, and paid for everything, she always hurt me and i forgot her so many times, before our marriage she left me and she went for another guy, i told her you can go, then after 1yr she came back, she told me that she had no sex with him, but they kissed a lot, i forgave her, but she still gave me no respect for anything, till i decided a divorce, she begged for forgiveness, i took her back and stopped divorce issues, after 2 months she is telling me that she has feeling for another man who met not long time ago and she says she doesnt want to cheat, i am really angry and i feel like i am married to a abnormal human being, i did not do anything wrong to her i do everything to her but this is what i am paid, i hope God is going to help me decide.

written by samesituation, 20 December, 2011

Were all in the same boat paddling in different directions!.....I for one I’m ready to get out of the boat.....I believe the first response to the post is correct. Because I have lived it for 3 yrs now and the only reason neither one of leaves is because of the kids and finances. I have suffered emotional, mental and worse of all physical damage...literally depression, anxiety over this has aged me 10 plus years in physical appearance. I wouldn’t wish this on any of you so why would she. Think about it...I hope you all find your clarity because once you do you’ll know what to do.

written by kc b, 01 January, 2012

My wife cheated. i found texts and said something to her. she said it was just texts i new the dif. I wanted some time about a month and asked her very calm and she came clean. I am a pro fighter so my mind and body wants to kill this guy. But to all u with wifes in relationships stop she is in it. if she fell out of love with u once it will happen again and again. She will want more and soon u to will find ur self scared up and killing ur self so pleas stop leave her the kids will be better off with mommy and daddy happy then seeing them depressed and fighting all the time.

written by mb6601, 20 January, 2012

My wife recently told me she has feelings for a co worker. nothing has happened but she says the only time she is happy is when she is at work. she still loves me but not in love with me,we have 2 kids and they are the world to her. I told her I would do anything to fix our marriage and to please stop it with this guy and lets get some help. the only other option is divorce.she says she needs time to make a decision. meanwhile we are both living together pretending that everything is alright. I can’t eat or sleep, it’s killing me. we have been married 13 years and together for 22 years.my family is everything to me but I just can’t live with this. should I force her to make a decision or give her the time she needs to make one? please! anyone! I don’t know what to do!

written by Hyflash, 04 February, 2012

I have been married for over 32 years to my wife. She hooked up on Facebook with her ex-boyfriend from high school. I drive across country in a semi, so I am on the road for a week or two at a time. I found out this guy was calling her on the phone, and talking to her for hours at a time. She denied this, until I called him right in front of her, (because I had his number on the phone bill) then she finally confessed to the affair. I thought the world had ended, and I went into a deep depression. I blamed myself for it because I wasn’t home enough. I started reading many books on relationships. I came up with the reality that I am in control of all of my pain, and emotions. I realized that I allowed myself to eat myself alive, like a dog eating at its own tail. My ego (my sub-conscious mind), was controlling my thoughts, not my conscious mind. All of the negative thoughts regarding this affair were ripping my heart out. Once I decided to become aware that my ego was controlling my life, and not my conscious mind, things started to make sense to me. It is the power of awareness that will bring everything back together. Don’t allow your ego, or, entity’s to ruin your life. Believe me, we all have them. Once you understand how to control your thoughts, you will be able to move forward with a awareness that won’t allow negative forces to destroy your life. Read "The Power of Now", by Eckhart Tollie. It is a excellent place to start rebuilding control of who you really are, and how to control your emotions. All the shit that had been thrown at me, I washed off, because I realize that I am in control of my thoughts. So, if I want to hurt myself, then all I had to do is allow all though thoughts to tear me apart. Sooner, or later, you are going to get sick of feeling so bad. When you do, that is when things are going to change. Your conscious mind would never allow you to hurt yourself, pain comes from your sub-conscious mind. Understanding how this works is the best tool that you can have when someone that you love betrays you, lies to you, or leaves you for someone else. Words cause emotions. Emotions can cause great pain. Emotions are what cause some people to kill themselves, or others. Again, if you are conscious minded, then you would never hurt yourself over someone else. Love yourself first, and do not rip yourself apart with negative thoughts. I am still married to my wife. I forgive her for what she did to me. Leave the past behind you, and live in the now. It is the best place to be, especially if you really love the person that has hurt you.

written by Chris83, 07 March, 2012

I am literally broken and torchering myself by continuously texting my wife. We have been together 6 years and only got married in sept 2011. We have 2 beautiful children together and my wife has been very depressed for a long time which ended up with me being depressed. Our relationship changed after having children but I knew it would you loose your freedom as you are now a responsible person adult and parent. My wife had lots of problems with bleeding and contraceptives which made our sex life harder. We are both on medication for depression but she hasn’t been taking her tablets properly. I try and be there for her and I’m a stay at home dad since loosing my job last year. She has now just turned around and said she doesn’t want to be with me and she will never make me happy. That’s rubbish I just want her to seek help on her own or together but she won’t. Budge an inch. She was do happy on our wedding day less than 6 months ago just don’t know what’s happened to her us. She won’t put up a fight to save us. I’m so hurt and emotionally destroyed inside. I can’t get through to her no matter what I try do or say. I am not a horrid man I have always been there and loved her never cheated. My marriage vows I stand by but to her it’s like she doesn’t care. It’s the 2nd day today and wants me to pack all my stuff. What do I do with no money job I have lost my home.

written by no way out, 06 May, 2012

My wife had an emotional affair for a year and a half five years ago. She also says she loves me but is not in love with me. She has jumped back into inappropriate relationships many times. Lets ex-co-workers says he is sexy in text messages. I am so suspicious and distrusting of her. she would rather be with her girl friends than me. I feel alone. I have been married for almost 29 years but she says she hasn’t felt the same about me for over ten years. I don’t know if I hate her or what. She destroyed and devastated me. To me she has done nothing to remedy the situation all these years. She goes places and I have to guess where she is. It tares me apart. I still have two younger children. I would leave her if it wasn’t for them. Some say work on the marriage, I have done that I simply get nothing in return. I don’t want to waste my life away over her if it is time to move on then let’s do it. I just can’t be with someone who I have sacrificed so much for who cares nothing for me.